Talk:Polybioides raphigastra
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Unnecessary links, more citations, italicize the title, and other suggestions
[edit]- This article contains quite a few unnecessary link out words/terms including “Swiss” and “subfamily” under the “Taxonomy and phylogeny section. Under the “Distribution and habitat” section, consider taking away the hyperlinks for ‘South East Asia’, ‘Indonesia’, and ‘Phillipines’ since the hyperlinks are already included earlier in the article. Please review the other hyperlinks included in this article. It is more helpful to include links for terms that are necessary to understanding the information. For instance, consider linking to the Polybioides tabidus Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polybioides_tabidus.
- Review the article to ensure you italicize the species names. This conventional format was missing in the title and under the following sections: “Description & Identification” and “Treatment of Immature Brood”. I made these minor changes in the article. I was unable to italicize the species name in the title for the article but the author should make this change.
- This article needs a lot more citations particularly for the following sections: colony initiation, pheromone signaling, mimicry & camouflage, caste differentiation, and defense.
- Under the “Nest Architecture” section, I would suggest changing the verb tense in the first sentence from “formed” to “form”. If you are talking about a particular study or experiment, then be sure to clarify this to avoid confusion. Otherwise, be consistent in the use of the present tense to show that this is a generalized fact.
- Additionally, I would consider adding more information in the colony cycle such as whether or not the colonies are formed during a particular part of the year.
Jazdeb (talk) 05:02, 18 October 2014 (UTC)
Some Suggestions
[edit]This article provided a significant amount of information about the nests of your wasps, a feature that most articles don’t have, so I found that to be interesting. I also found your isolation of how the immature brood was treated to be interesting, especially the part about how some of the cells are effectively bottomless. However, there are numerous aspects of this article that need to be changed. For instance, you should definitely cite your sources more often, as the above poster said. Your entire “Behavior” section does not have a single citation, as an example, and you definitely should cite your sources within the article before it gets taken down. I also believe that the “Colony Cycle” could use significant expansion. You only briefly talk about how the wasp’s colony is initiated, and there is no information regarding its propagation and eventual termination of a cycle. This should be completed to reflect the whole cycle. Also, some information regarding diet/predation of your wasp would be very beneficial. You talk about the defense mechanisms in your article; what are the wasps defending themselves from? Finally, some minor writing/grammar changes need to be made. For instance, you should remember to italicize your species names. I also made a few minor grammatical changes throughout the article. RJPet (talk) 02:35, 23 October 2014 (UTC)
Comments
[edit]This first edit that I made was removing the orphan banner at the top of the page. There were several internal throughout the page, so I don’t think this article warrants an orphan banner. I think that mentioning the other species that fall within the genus Polybioides is helpful, especially because there is currently not a Wikipedia page for Polybioides. Also, I added an internal link to Polybioides tabidus since that page now exists. It’s beneficial to include a link to a related species so that the readers are able to get a better, broader view of how these two species act relative to each other and other species of Polybioides. I might even recommend removing the link from Polybioides in the Scientific Classification table because that page does not exist. However, if the intention was to have the genus page linked whenever it is actually created, then I understand why that internal link would be included.
There were a few simple grammar and punctuation errors that I noticed and corrected. For example, the species name was not italicized a couple of times in the page. For the Colony Cycle section, I would recommend removing the subsection heading for Colony Initiation because there are no other subsections under Colony Cycle. I think that subsection headings are better for when the information within the section needs to be separated for the flow to make sense. In this case, I would either rename the section to Colony Initiation or remove the subsection heading. The same comment applies to the Defense subsection of Interactions With Other Species. For Distribution and Habitat, I think that describing the type of material that is used for the nests and the plants that the materials come from would help the reader understand how Polybioides raphigastra interacts with other species in its environment.
Overall, good job! Sydney Joyner (talk) 03:38, 23 October 2014 (UTC)
General Comments
[edit]Overall, this page has a good start to the species. I edited the Description and Identification section, because I felt it was too choppy and hard to read. I made it one big paragraph that had lots of details about the nest, and was able to flow better. You can definitely change this back, but I think it works well as a longer paragraph. I would also suggest working on the Colony Cycle section. There is not a lot of information presented. Maybe try looking to sources for other Polybioides wasps for more information. I also went through the article and italicized anything that needed to be italicized, like species names and genus'. I would suggest you look closer at the Behavior section ordering, because I'm not sure this is the best way to present the information. Overall, good job! Jamiehalpern (talk) 03:34, 24 October 2014 (UTC)
Zroscope Comments
[edit]In the Overview, I'd change "...for having colony sizes exceeding ten thousand members" to "for having colony sizes exceed ten thousand members".
No pics, though I can understand why, just observing.
The species' genus has no external link, may want to de-hyperlink the word.
The overview is a bit small/short, adding some more neat facts or even general info would help buff it up a bit.
Fixed grammatical errors.
The wording of the description is a bit...odd to me. Maybe replace "areas" with "patches".
Under "Nest" header, hyperlinked "ovoidal" to oval Wiki page. Let me know/please change if that was not the original meaning/correct shape.
Hyperlinked more uncommon words.
"Towards the center of each tier, the cells axes point downwards while near the edge of the envelope (the periphery) they are faced almost horizontal." Horizontally?
Fixed "Distribution and Habitat" (into) header. Didn't know what tier you wanted it to be, I made it two tier.
Under "Treatment of Immature Brood", what is an "instar"? (I recognize the term, but can't remember the meaning).
Made capitalization changes to maintain consistency.
"A habit they have in common with all of the Ropalidiini tribe is that bottoms of cells are cut..." Specify "they".
"Additionally, eggs are attached laterally onto the wall of cells that are open on both sides." Wall or walls?
Italicized synonym name in Info Box.
"The Stratiomyid fly may successfully fly along with members of Polybioides." Pheromones don't alert the wasps to their intruder?
Under "Defense" header "...bees in booby traps intentioned to quick-release..." Intentioned or intended?
A good amount of information is located under each header (except for one or two). Most of the information is specific to the species/subject. Could use more info and pictures. Good Article. Zroscope (talk) 12:34, 21 November 2014 (UTC)