Talk:Pilar Shimizu

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Pilar Shimizu/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 07:58, 14 April 2018 (UTC)

Reviewing this as part of a GA sweep. Comments will appear soon. MWright96 (talk) 07:58, 14 April 2018 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

General

• All mentions of 50 m, 100 m and 200 m would be better off being spelt out

Done Kees08 (Talk)

Early life and education

• "Pilar Shimizu was born May 27, 1996, in Tamuning, Guam." - Pilar Shimizu was born in the Guam city of Tamuning on May 27, 1996.
• "Shimizu learned to swim at age four and started training at age seven." - This sentence needs to be cited to a reliable source.
• "Shimizu is studying public health at Johns Hopkins University, " - link Johns Hopkins University

Done Kees08 (Talk)

Collegiate career

• "she was part of the 200 yard medley relay" - link 200 yard medley relay to 200 metres individual medley
  • Well, the 200 yard is technically different from the 200 meter isn't it? Kees08 (Talk)
    • D'oh so it is. My mistake.. MWright96 (talk) 11:55, 19 April 2018 (UTC)
• "The team received First Team All-America" - Wikilink All-America
  • Done Kees08 (Talk)
• "and competed for the NCAA Championship." - try and find the apporiate wikilink for the NCAA championship that Shimizu competed in
  • So...apparently Johns Hopkins is DIII so there will not be an article for it. I can make a redlinked version? Kees08 (Talk)
    • Only if there is a great deal of independent reliable coverage. MWright96 (talk) 11:55, 19 April 2018 (UTC)

Olympic career

• "She was the youngest Guamanian Olympian ever" - in history
  • Done Kees08 (Talk)
• "Shimizu set the national record for the 100 m breaststroke (set by Tammie Kaee) during the 2012 London Olympics" - established and during the Games
  • Done Kees08 (Talk)
• Also, you should add mention of the 20-year old part to the record that Shimizu broke as you have done in the lead
  • Done Kees08 (Talk)
• "She decided to put her swimming career on hiatus" - start this sentence with Shimizu
  • Done Kees08 (Talk)

International career

• Wikilink 2009 East Asian Games
  • Done Kees08 (Talk)
• The link to Oceania Swimming Championships should be directed to 2010 Oceania Swimming Championships
  • Done Kees08 (Talk)
• "In the 2015 Pacific Games, Shimizu earned a silver medal in the 50 m with a time of 33.35." - try: In the 2015 Pacific Games, Shimizu earned the 50 meters silver medal with a time of 33.35 seconds.
  • Done Kees08 (Talk)

References

• Reference seven is lacking the author of the article
  • Done Kees08 (Talk)
• The access date for Reference fifteen is missing
  • Done Kees08 (Talk)

On hold until all of my concerns have been addressed. MWright96 (talk) 10:01, 14 April 2018 (UTC)

@MWright96: Ready for you to take a look (I had a couple questions above). Kees08 (Talk) 06:22, 19 April 2018 (UTC)

• • @Kees08: Alright I have answered your questions and can now promote this article to GA status. MWright96 (talk) 11:55, 19 April 2018 (UTC)