Talk:Pic-Nic/GA1
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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 17:42, 1 November 2021 (UTC)
I think this article has been waiting at GAN for long enough! — GhostRiver 17:42, 1 November 2021 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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Infobox and lede
[edit]- "Contrary to popular belief, keyboardist Jordi Sabatés does not appear in any of the group's releases, as he joined the band after their only published recordings sessions had taken place." → "Although keyboardist Jordi Sabatés is often mentioned as a member of the band, he does not appear on any of the group's releases, having joined after their only published recording sessions had taken place."
- Done
- "Haakon Brenner and Vytas Brenner" → "Haakon and Vytas Brenner"
- Done
- "Jeanette—an English girl that had" → "Jeanette, an English girl who had"
- Done
- "EP" → "extended play"
- Done
- ""Cállate niña,"" → ""Cállate niña"," per MOS:LQ
- Done
History
[edit]Origins at Brenner's Folk
[edit]- "Haakon Brenner and Vytas Brenner" → "Haakon and Vytas Brenner"
- Done
- End first sentence after "Barangé", then say "Soler and Barangé had previously been part of Els Xerracs," and continue the sentence there
- Done
- "spent her childhood in Los Angeles, until her parents divorced in 1962 and she moved" → "spent her childhood in Los Angeles until her parents' 1962 divorce, at which point she moved"
- Done
- "featured
acover art"
- Done
- "EP" → "extended play (EP)"
- Done
- "what the genre consisted of" → "more about the genre" (don't end sentences in prepositions)
- Done
Breakthrough with "Callate nina"
[edit]- "Vytas and Haakon's family" → "the Brenner family"
- Done
- "Brenner's Folk's new formation" → "This new iteration of Brenner's Folk"
- Done
- ""one of the most influential figures in Spanish music between 1965 and 1975."" → ""one of the most influential figures in Spanish music between 1965 and 1975"." per MOS:LQ
- Done
- ""[resulted] from sophisticated orchestral arrangements and studio wizardy."" → "resulted from "sophisticated orchestral arrangements and studio wizardy"." per MOS:LQ
- Done
- "too much of a foreign name" → "too foreign of a name"
- Done
- "and Vytas and Haakon were no longer" → "and the eponymous Brenners were no longer"
- Done
- Italicize Tele Ritmo as the name of a television program
- Done
- ""a most charming album, filled with sparkling, fresh lilting sounds."" → ""a most charming album, filled with sparkling, fresh lilting sounds"." per MOS:LQ
- Done
- Commas rather than em dashes around "starring Pili and Mili"
- Done
- Cut "Despite popular belief"
- Done
- ""solos..."" → ""solos ..."" per MOS:ELLIPSIS
- Done
Break-up and aftermath
[edit]- Delink "school" per MOS:OVERLINK and MOS:EASTEREGG
- Done
- "missing a lot of class" → "frequently missing class"
- Done
- "fulfill her band obligations"
- Done
- ""go to school..."" → ""go to school ...."" per MOS:ELLIPSIS
- Done
- "Despite the repercussion" → "Despite the success"
- Done
- "briefly tried to continue playing without her but were unsuccessful." → "briefly and unsuccessfully attempted to continue playing without her."
- Done
- "where they got married" → "where they wed"
- Done
Musical style
[edit]- "transformed their folk ballads into something unique" → "transformed their original folk ballads into something more unique."
- Done
- No colon after "Pepe García Lloret described Pic-Nic's music as"
- Done
- "on the contrary" → "as a corollary"
- Done
- "Most of them" → "Most of these songs"
- Done
- Commas rather than em dashes around "a Jeanette composition based on the traditional lullaby "Hush, Little Baby""
- Done
Legacy
[edit]considered a mythical band
both vague and POV; considered by whom?
- See corrections
- Considered uprecedented and ahead of its time by whom?
- See corrections
- ""something never seen before, or since, in Spain."" → ""something never seen before, or since, in Spain"." per MOS:LQ
- Done
- "various indie pop artists"
- Done
- Efe Eme should be italicized as the name of a publication
- Done
- "number thirty-seven" → "number 37" per MOS:NUMERAL
- Done
- "number eighty-one" → "number 81" per MOS:NUMERAL
- Done
- Commas rather than em dashes around "a reissue subsidiary of Spanish label Munster Records"
- Done
- "number ninety-eight" → "number 98" per MOS:NUMERAL
- Done
- Commas rather than em dashes around "who has cited Jeannette as one of her biggest influences"
- Done
Discography
[edit]- Good
References
[edit]- Good
General comments
[edit]- Images are fair use or CC and are relevant
- Music samples are under 30 seconds and relevant
- No stability concerns in the revision history
- Copyvio score looks good, the only thing higher than 5.7% is from attributed direct quotes
Generally looks good – outside of some basic prose and MOS fixes, my biggest concern is in the Legacy section, where WP:WEASEL may apply, as claims are made generally about the band's status. Putting on hold now to allow nominator to address comments; feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished. — GhostRiver 18:11, 1 November 2021 (UTC)
- GhostRiver thank you so much for taking a look at the article! Regarding the main issues in the "Legacy" section, please let me know if I've fixed them correctly. --🩸 𝗕𝗹𝗲𝗳𝗳 🩸 (talk) 19:01, 1 November 2021 (UTC)
- So much better, thank you! Very happy to pass! — GhostRiver 19:24, 1 November 2021 (UTC)