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Talk:People Take Pictures of Each Other/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:16, 5 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

This is going to be reviewed today! --K. Peake 07:16, 5 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

[edit]
  • Done.
  • Make the second sentence one mentioning the song's writing, singing and recording date
  • Done.
  • Follow the above with the inspiration, then one sentence of comp and lyrical meaning
  • Done.
  • Remove the sequencing sentence since that is not notable and the album can be mentioned in the first sentence
  • Done.
  • "The recording features a" → "The song features a" moving this to the comp/lyrics part like I said
  • Done.
  • Remove session keyboardist introduction to Nicky Hopkins
  • Done.
  • "and others comment that its" → "Others comment that its" to avoid a run-on sentence
  • Done.
  • "The Kinks performed the song" → "The Kinks performed "People Take Pictures of Each Other""
  • Done.

Background and composition

[edit]
  • Quote box looks good!
  • This section seems disordered; shouldn't you write about inspiration and its place on the album in background then follow with comp and lyrics of the song itself?
  • Yeah, you're right it was a little out of order. I swapped paragraphs so the composition is discussed before its relation to the other songs on the album, which I think makes sense chronologically.
  • "and Davies further stated in" → "and Davies eventually stated in"
  • How about simply "... and Davies stated in ..."
  • "encourage nostalgia while misleading" → "encourage nostalgia and mislead"
  • Done.
  • "Davies wrote it specifically" → "Davies wrote the song specifically"
  • Done.
  • Remove wikilink on "Pictures in the Sand"
  • I think it's acceptable by WP:NSONG: Songs that do not rise to notability for an independent article should redirect to another relevant article, such as ... a prominent album ...
  • "to photographs,[6] and" → "to photographs and" moving [6] solely to the end of the sentence
  • Done.
  • "where the latter features a" → "with the latter featuring a"
  • Done.
  • "it serves as a commentary on the album's other tracks," → "the song serves as a commentary on the other tracks,"
  • Done.
  • "thinks the song's closing lines" → "thinks the closing lines"
  • Done.

Recording and release

[edit]
  • Done.
  • "and fast a breathless lead vocal" doesn't make much sense, unless you meant to write "a fast, breathless lead vocal"?
  • Yes, that was a typo. Fixed.
  • "rather than hiring session musicians to play it." → "rather than working with hiring session musicians." to be less repetitive
  • How about ... rather than working with hired session musicians.
  • Done.
  • Remove wikilink on Pye Records
  • Done.
  • "well without it."" → "well without it"." per MOS:QUOTE
  • Done.
  • "barely notice it."" → "barely notice it"."
  • Done.

Other versions

[edit]
  • First para looks good!
  • "The American rock band" → "American rock band" to avoid starting two consecutive sentences with the
  • Done.
  • "over time, adding in part:" → "over time, further adding:"
  • Done.

References

[edit]
  • Copyvio score looks solid at 34.6%!!!
  • Remove the author from ref 29 since staff is not a person
  • Done.

Sources

[edit]
  • Done.
  • Done.

Final comments and verdict

[edit]
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