Talk:Paul Tremo/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Yash! (talk · contribs) 10:19, 4 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I will start tomorrow. Thanks! — Yash! ^[talk] 10:19, 4 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Link Poland
- Please reconsider. Per WP:OVERLINK, "the names of major geographic features and locations" should not be linked "unless they are particularly relevant to the topic of the article". Poland is neither particularly obscure, nor directly relevant to the topic. In general, I avoid linking the names of existing countries, but do link the names of historical political entities (such as Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, Duchy of Warsaw, Kingdom of Prussia). I don't think that reading about modern-day Poland will help the reader much in understanding the life and work of Paul Tremo. Please also note that I have linked Polish cuisine (but not Poland, nor cuisine), per WP:SPECIFICLINK. — Kpalion^(talk) 12:25, 7 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  - I was referring to 'Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth' in 'King Stanislaus Augustus Poniatowski of Poland.' It has been linked once in the prose. One link in the lead won't be overlinking. It is fine either way. I am satisfied with your work. Passing it :) — Yash! ^[talk] 14:48, 7 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Life

his wife, - no need to mention that
- Please reconsider. In Tremo's times it was (and to many people, still is) a pretty big deal whether someone was born in or out of wedlock, so I believe that the verifiable information that his parents were married to each other shouldn't be left out. — Kpalion^(talk) 12:25, 7 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Prussian capital - What was Prussian capital? Better to write the actual name
- Done. I was trying not to repeat "Berlin" in two sentences in a row, but I guess this can't be avoided. — Kpalion^(talk) 22:38, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Elie Tremeau, both father and son - Better to write 'Both Elie Tremeau, his father and grandfather' or something else that you like that mentions 'father and grandfather' since the article is on Tremo
- Done, hope it's better now. — Kpalion^(talk) 22:38, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
were then - were
- Done. — Kpalion^(talk) 22:38, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
His status is - His status was
- I've reworded the sentence to make it clearer that it's about modern historians, not Tremo's contemporaries, that infer his status as the king's favourite cook from his salary. — Kpalion^(talk) 08:39, 7 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Please be consistent. He is referred as 'Paul' and 'Tremo' in the section. Use 'Tremo' throughout
- Using the surname only might be confusing in those sentences that mention both Paul Tremo and his brother, Jacques Tremo. But I've changed most instances of 'Paul' to 'Paul Tremo'. — Kpalion^(talk) 22:38, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Work

His favourite dish was roast[5][12] or stewed[13] mutton - Why do we have an 'or' here instead of an 'and'?
- Firstly, because some sources say his favourite dish was roast mutton and another source says it was stewed mutton; I don't know for sure whether he liked both or just one and not the other. And secondly, because even if he liked both kinds of mutton, it's unlikely that he ever ate both at the same time, so at any given time he only consumed it either roast or stewed. — Kpalion^(talk) 10:27, 7 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
so as to accommodate - to accommodate
- Done. — Kpalion^(talk) 22:38, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Tomatoes, for example - Just suggesting, can we have names of all things which Tremo never used, if the things are not too many?
- The source doesn't provide any other examples. — Kpalion^(talk) 10:27, 7 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
...not only did he study classic cookbooks, such as the ancient Roman Apicius,[9] but also set out on... - ...he studied classic cookbooks, such as the ancient Roman Apicius,[9] and also set out on...
- Done. — Kpalion^(talk) 22:38, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
as the famed Thursday Dinners - as the Thursday Dinners
- Done. — Kpalion^(talk) 22:38, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Some of his contemporaries, however, complained - However, some of his contemporaries complained
- Done. — Kpalion^(talk) 22:38, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
has not survived to our times. - has not survived.
- Done. — Kpalion^(talk) 22:38, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
His and his brother's - Tremo's and his brother's. And change 'Tremo' to 'He' in the previous line
- Done. — Kpalion^(talk) 22:38, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
prolific - Better to use something else
- What's wrong with 'prolific' and what would you suggest instead? — Kpalion^(talk) 10:27, 7 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  - It feels like borderline WP:PEACOCK. However, I couldn't think of any better option so it's alright. — Yash! ^[talk] 11:43, 7 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
    - Well, 'prolific' means just that he produced many works, which I think is pretty objective (as opposed to any adjective referring to the quality of his works). — Kpalion^(talk) 12:25, 7 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
food writer[19] best - food writer,[19] best
- Done. — Kpalion^(talk) 22:38, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
...best known for his Kuchnia myśliwska (Hunter's cuisine). Published in 1845, it is the first Polish cookbook... - ...best known for his Kuchnia myśliwska (Hunter's cuisine); published in 1845, it is the first Polish cookbook...
- Done. — Kpalion^(talk) 22:38, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

References

In 1762, Paul Tremo landed a job as... - Just to be sure, is everything stated in the following few sentences covered by a single source?
- Yes. Actually, as you may have noticed, this entire section is based on (various pages of) a single source. If you think that any particular statement should have a separate inline citation, please mark it with a 'citation needed' tag and I will replace it with a citation. — Kpalion^(talk) 12:25, 7 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Images

Please add WP:ALT
- Done. — Kpalion^(talk) 20:19, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I will take another look once the changes have been made. Bon appétit ;) — Yash! ^[talk] 01:40, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]