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GA Review

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Reviewer: Aza24 (talk · contribs) 08:09, 6 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Happy to review this—comments soon. Aza24 (talk) 08:09, 6 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

  • Admittedly, I find the life section hard to read when there is also a "Musical career at Norwich Cathedral" one. I do wonder if they can be combined, as I believe it would improve both continuity and readability considerably
I've combined the two sections, let me know what you think. AM

Lead

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  • Are we sure it shouldn't be "composer and singer" (in terms of order for which is primary), that's what Grove has at least
Done (interesting idea, not entirely convinced) AM
  • Short description is "Musician and composer" when it should probably match whatever you do with the first sentence
Sorted. AM
  • Recommend linking parish (in the lead and body text). I am thinking rites should link to something, but not sure what that would be too
Parish done but not rite, as the best article (Ritual) or the article it might end up merging with (Rite) are both imo too large in scope to be of use here. AM
  • I wonder if "He died in Norwich in 1585 and was buried in Norwich Cathedral" might work better in the second paragraph. Then the commemorative plaque might flow from it better
Good idea, done. AM
  • That he wrote both Latin and English rites seems inextricably tied to the fact that his career...
Heh... "... that his career occurred during the reformation". There is a whole field on English music during the reformation, so I suggest something about that, for contextual purposes, be added to the lead Aza24 (talk) 08:15, 11 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would advise against linking to "England" throughout, though if you're doing it to separate the kingdom from modern times, I suppose I understand that
Advice taken. AM

Life

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  • Is the attribution in "The Oxford Dictionary of National Biography states that in" necessary? It feels out of place, as I presume the ODB is citing land ownership documents
Agreed, now sorted. AM
  • "Details of Osbert Parsley's life first appeared in Henry Davey's History of English Music" — Grove seems to indicate that details of his life were known from the plaque, which presumably was known of because the Davey publication?
True, so sentence amended to reflect this. AM

Musical career

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  • The link to composer seems unneeded
Link deleted. AM
  • Since Te Deum is a hymn (so basically a song), it probably needs quotation marks rather than italicization
Done throughout. AM
  • IMO the image of the Norwich quires is so nice that you might considering enlarging it with "upright=1.3" or something similar
Done. AM
  • I am finding little to comment on regarding this section. It seems a bit more put together than the life one, perhaps another reason to combine them :)
  • I'll continue the review soon. Best – Aza24 (talk) 06:30, 9 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Above comments now addressed. Amitchell125 (talk) 09:46, 10 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Composing career

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  • I feel that the "During the decades" paragraph can be combined with the earlier one
Done. AM
  • "polyphonic music was no longer allowed to be composed"—I find this hard to believe as written. Could it be that highly polyphonic music was not permitted?
Sorted. AM
  • Link The Musical Times
Done. AM
  • The "Parsley's Clock composition" sentence seems out of place for a "List of compositions" section, I recommend it be moved above
Done. AM
  • I feel like the "List of compositions" and Existing manuscripts should be in the same section, perhaps you could have:

==List of compositions==
===Overview=== (or no heading at all?)
===Existing manuscripts===

Done (big improvement imo). AM
  • You could even have this all under the composing career section, but keeping the list of compositions apart from the existing manuscripts is rather odd
I've avoided this, because of the titles structure already in place. AM

Refs

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Done. A.
  • Looks great otherwise, putting on hold
@Aza24: All sorted now. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:29, 15 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Looks great! Passing now. Aza24 (talk) 00:38, 16 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]