Talk:Orme (horse)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Khazar2 (talk · contribs) 00:58, 15 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be glad to take this review. Initial comments to follow in the next 1-5 days. Thanks in advance for your work on this one! -- Khazar2 (talk) 00:58, 15 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

On first pass, this appears well written, well researched, and probably close to promotion as a GA. Thanks for your work on it, and I'm sorry you had to wait so long for a review. Some minor points are below. I also did some minor copyediting as I went for MOS issues, spelling, grammar, etc. Please double-check that I haven't inadvertently added any errors, and feel free to revert anything you disagree with. -- Khazar2 (talk) 03:40, 16 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"The poisoning was investigated by George Lewis," -- is it possible to add some context on who this is--a police detective, a private detective, a veterinarian?
- Done - he was a solicitor
"When in the paddock prior to a race, Orme had a habit of sticking his tongue out of one side of his mouth and moving it about." -- why does this appear in the section "four-year-old season"? I'm not sure if it belongs at all in the article--it might be too much detail per criterion 3b--but it could definitely use a better transition.
- I agree that this sounded a bit weird just stuck at the end of the paragraph. For now, I've moved it to the background section, but I agree that it is not exactly vital to the article, so if you think it should go I'll remove it.
  - It's up to you. I guess I'd weakly suggest removing it, but it's not at all an issue for GA status either way.
"he left Newmarket for Eaton stud" -- is "Eaton stud" the name of a place (perhaps with a capitalization error)? Or should this read "for Eaton to stud"?
- DONE
"was Champion sire of Great Britain in 1899" -- is there a source for this? Also, is it correct to capitalize "champion" here?
- DONE - yes, changed it to champion sire and added ref
"Flying Fox went on to be Champion sire in France three times" -- same questions as previous item -- Khazar2 (talk) 03:40, 16 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- DONE

Thanks for this review. I've just done the quick changes will try and find a reference to George Lewis ASAP. Edwarddutton (talk) 07:45, 16 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Added ref for George Lewis, so all done. Cheers, Edwarddutton (talk) 12:19, 16 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good, thanks. Let me turn to the checklist now. -- Khazar2 (talk) 14:29, 16 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Checklist

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Spotchecks show no copyright issues, and as most sources are 1915 or earlier, this would not be a serious issue anyway.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	Pending
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	~~File:Morny Cannon.jpg, File:Horse Orme 2.jpg, File:Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, 1. Duke of Westminster.jpg, and File:Horse Orme.jpg all need tags explaining why they are fair use/public domain in the US.~~
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
	7. Overall assessment.	Pass

I removed the sentence. I also took out the cigarette card image and added an image of his racing colours instead. Note that I also added an illustration of the 1892 Eclipse Stakes. Let me know if I need do anything else regarding the images, Edwarddutton (talk) 17:14, 17 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

That covers it. Thanks! -- Khazar2 (talk) 18:50, 17 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]