Talk:Operation Jackal/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 11:16, 12 May 2013 (UTC)
I will start reviewing this one in the next few days. Zawed (talk) 11:16, 12 May 2013 (UTC)
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
Start of review
- Is it reasonably well written?
- A. Prose quality:
- *I think parts of the lead should be rearranged as it doesn't flow quite right; most of the 1st paragraph relates to the battle and afterwards, while the 2nd paragraph mainly relates to the background. If you move the entire 2nd paragraph to follow the sentence in the first paragraph that ends ...from 7–26 June 1992, I think that would make the reading sequence more logical.
- *Also in the lead, you refer to an offensive and battle. From my reading of the article, Operation Jackal is more an offensive.
- *The areas were subsequently named the Republic of Serbian Krajina (RSK) and, after declaring its intention to integrate with Serbia, denounced as a rebellion by the Government of Croatia. Needs revising as unclear what was integrating with Serbia (obviously it was the RSK, but the its is suggestive of the Government of Croatia). Also, was the RSK openly supported by Serbia? A sentence to this effect would provide context for this (which appears later in the background section): ...but Serbia continued to support the RSK.
- *a further 1,500 – 2,000...: Not sure if a spaced dash is the one to use for a range of numbers.
- *...to stop the expected JNA/VRS offensive and regain the lost territory. Suggest replacing lost territory with Mostar or area around Mostar for sake of clarity.
- *Fixed as suggested (this issue and all of the above)
- *The HV and the HVO committed 4,670 troops to Operation Jackal.: Do we know how many were from the HV as opposed to the HVO?
- *No, unfortunately sources do not provide that info.
- *On 11 June, the Mostar HVO forces...: From the prelude section, I thought Mostar was largely held by the JNA/VRS? Do the HVO forces in Mostar count towards the 4,670 troops?
- *Yes they do, as indicated in the article (HVO units drawn from Mostar). JNA held parts of Mostar around its barracks (several) and a heliport. Still, the bulk of the force, especially the HV, was initially deployed in and around Čapljina.
- B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
- *Duplicate links: Croatian language, Army of Republika Srpska (both in the lead) and 4th Guards Brigade (Croatia)
- *Fixed.
- *Duplicate links: Croatian language, Army of Republika Srpska (both in the lead) and 4th Guards Brigade (Croatia)
- A. Prose quality:
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. Has an appropriate reference section:
- B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- A. Has an appropriate reference section:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused:
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Pass or Fail:
The main issues detected relate to continuity, clarity and context. The GA toolbox doesn't want to work for me today, so I can't check disambig links or the external links at the moment. I also made a few minor tweaks to the text as I went along. Zawed (talk) 22:43, 13 May 2013 (UTC)
Thanks for the review. I'll try to address the issues you raised right away.--Tomobe03 (talk) 22:57, 13 May 2013 (UTC)
- I tried to address your concerns. The dab/checklinks tool seems to be acting up intermittently over the last few days, but just now I managed to access them. There's no telling what's going on there.--Tomobe03 (talk) 23:22, 13 May 2013 (UTC)
- Your changes look good to me, so I'm passing as a GA. Checklist has been updated. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 05:44, 14 May 2013 (UTC)