Talk:Opawa/GA2

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

---

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Alexeyevitch (talk · contribs) 03:12, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: DimensionalFusion (talk · contribs) 17:55, 6 October 2024 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Off the bat, article doesn't merit quickfail (no maintenance tags, reviewer has written 80% of article thus far). Looks interesting, I'll begin reviewing once I've read the whole article I will be referring to comments made in the first GA in determining any outstanding issues that may arise.

Review comments:

1. Article does not skew towards any particular point of view. 4 is passed
2. Article does not have any edit warring. 5 is passed
3. Images used are captioned appropriately and relevant to article content. No copyrighted images, so no fair use rationale. 6 is passed

Lead

Lead section chooses not to use citations, so citations in lead must be backed up later. Article in red, suggested change in green – not mandatory, just a suggestion for change

• It developed little during its early years in becoming a residential suburb. Seems ungramatical – perhaps something like It saw little development in its early years as it transitioned into a residential suburb.

 Done - A

• As Woolston emerged as an industrial hub nearby, Opawa was heavily urbanised, transforming it ... this seems clunky. Commas used in this sense of extra information should make sense gramatically when the commas are removed. Perhaps something similar to As Woolston emerged as an industrial hub nearby, Opawa was heavily urbanised. This transformed it ...

 Done Yes, that's better.

• comprised of bad phrasing. See WP:COMPRISEDOF

 Fixed Changed to consisting of.

• The suburb is largely residential, and lies mostly within a U-shaped bend of the Ōpāwaho / Heathcote River, that contains a light retail precinct centred on Opawa Road. Sentence could be reworked?

 Partly done - A

• It was incorporated in to the city area in 1916. Which city area?

 Fixed Christchurch City Area - A

• The suburb is home to two local sporting clubs, the Opawa Bowling Club and the Opawa Lawn Tennis Club. This lists two items so it should use a colon, like such: The suburb hosts two local sports clubs: the Opawa Bowling Club and the Opawa Lawn Tennis Club.

 Done - A

• Notable people with connections with the suburb include, politician William Pember Reeves, wartime women's labour administrator Noeline Baker, and one of New Zealand's most successful tennis players, Anthony Wilding. This is also a list, so should either use a colon or nothing: Notable individuals associated with the suburb include politician William Pember Reeves, wartime women's labour administrator Noeline Baker, and Anthony Wilding, one of New Zealand's most successful tennis players.

 Done - A

1. Article is sufficiently broad in covering the main aspects of the topic, passed 3a
2. References are acceptably formatted, passed 2a
3. No OR that I've seen, passed 2c

1a Prose check

• It also grew as people left Woolston's industrial areas including factory-workers and businesspeople who could not find homes in Woolston itself. Seems a bit clunky. Maybe something else like It also expanded as factory workers and businesspeople from Woolston's industrial areas relocated after being unable to find housing within Woolston itself.

 Done - A

• Opawa and its neighbouring suburb of Hillsborough were home to some brickmaking and clay industries, which did contribute in the development of Christchurch. Also seems clunky. which did contribute doesn't sound grammatical.

 Partly done - A

• Dates of repeated instances of significant flooding in the area include, August 1941, April 1962, and January 1980. This has a comma starting a list, which is ungrammatical. Perhaps you could either add a colon and embrace the list or remove it entirely, like this: Notable instances of significant flooding in the area occurred in August 1941, April 1962, and January 1980.

 Done - A

• Opawa contains a large number of landmarks and places of historical interest, known for their connection with some of the early European settlers in the area, among them, the Risingholme, a Victorian house which was built in 1864 by Mary and William Reeves. Perhaps reword this sentence

Not sure (hopefully) it's better now - A

• Opawa was incorporated in to the city area in October 1916. Repeats from the lead and again, which city area? Obviously it's Christchurch but that needs to be stated

 Done - A

• which is regarded as one of North Canterbury's oldest schools. Faulty phrasing - something cannot be "regarded" as a quality such as age. It can be one of North Canterbury's oldest schools

 Fixed - A

• the school's growth was influenced by the district which was on route via the Bridle Path from Christchurch to Lyttelton. Not clear what's trying to be said here

 Removed Better removed, not much connection, possibly unnecessary information - A

• In 1920, foundation of a new school at Opawa was laid. I think this is supposed to say the foundation

 Fixed - A

• At present time, Opawa School is a full-primary ... I think this was supposed to say either At the present time or At present,

 Fixed - A

• ...St Mark's School, a name it shares with St Mark's Anglican Church is located on Opawa Road. Needs rephrasing, perhaps a name it shares with St Mark's Anglican Church which is located on Opawa Road.

 Fixed - A

• Hansen Park, a recreational park in the suburb, is often a site of rugby, cricket and athletics. A bit clunky, perhaps reword to something like Hansen Park, a recreational area in the suburb, frequently hosts rugby, cricket, and athletics events.

 Fixed - A

• There are two rugby fields and two football fields in the park, and the clubrooms of the Port Hills Athletic Club. A bit clunky to list it in this manner. Perhaps something like The park features two rugby fields, two football fields, and houses the clubrooms of the Port Hills Athletic Club. would be better suited.

 Done That's better. - A

I can see that the prose needing copy-editing was a problem with the previous review, and that you've requested a copy-edit from GOCE. As-is, this probably wouldn't pass the criteria DimensionalFusion (talk · she/her) 08:56, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Attempting to apply MOS:LIST in § Landmarks. Should be better now (I think). Alexeyevitch^(talk) 10:33, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Okay, I'll take another look at it DimensionalFusion (talk · she/her) 11:12, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

1b MoS

1. Article meets MoS for lead, facts stated there are backed up by corresponding text in the article and reliable sources.
2. Article meets MoS for layout
3. MoS for fiction does not apply here
4. I can't see any violations of WtW, so article meets MoS in that regard
5. Article does not meet MoS for list incorporation as whilst some lists are embedded inline, others are not clear that they are lists. May be fixed if issues in 1a are addressed
6. Now passed following improvements made

3b Focus

1. Article is somewhat focused. On the one hand, it does remain on the topic of the suburb, but on the other hand it does cover various somewhat irrelevant factors. For example, in the education section it starts listing the roll of all the students, and I just can't see how this is relevant, as well as requiring lots of time to update to be the most recent DimensionalFusion (talk · she/her) 10:15, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

   This is standard for NZ articles (e.g. see Māngere Bridge (suburb) (and this). Alexeyevitch^(talk) 10:17, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

   I'd also like to note that the demographics template and linking Education Counts is also typical for NZ locality articles. I have removed quite a bit of needless detail (which is not standard) that I learned from a previous review. Alexeyevitch^(talk) 10:21, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

   I see. Would you happen to know why education counts are typical for NZ locality articles DimensionalFusion (talk · she/her) 11:03, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

   I would presume because it is affliated with Ministry of Education NZ. Also, Template:NZ school roll data updates regularly. Alexeyevitch^(talk) 11:08, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

2b 2d Copyright

• 2d. The previous review turned up some instances of close paraphrasing, and these have been rectified. Earwig shows little evidence of copyright violations beyond generic phrases that would not count. All that remains is to do a source spot-check DimensionalFusion (talk · she/her) 11:08, 9 October 2024 (UTC)
• 2b. Some of the sources were inaccessible to me, so I'll AGF on those. For those that could be accessed, they did give the information that was cited in the article. Passed

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.