Talk:Olga Tufnell/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 22:40, 8 April 2016 (UTC)

I'll finish this review tomorrow JAGUAR  22:40, 8 April 2016 (UTC)

Initial comments

• The lead needs to be expanded somewhat to comply per WP:LEADLENGTH. A couple of sentences mentioning more of her career and life should easily do it
• "was a British archeologist" - archaeologist
• "before taking on a secretarial role at British School of Archeology in Egypt" - before taking on a secretarial role at the British School of Archeology in Egypt
• "She kept the role of Hilda Petrie's secretary for 5 years" - five (smaller numbers in prose)
• "in fund-raising but also spent some time drawing and repairing pottery" - comma needed in between "raising" and "but". Also, should fundraising have a hyphen in it? I'm fine with it, but I've never seen it hyphenated before. Feel free to ignore
• "There she was greeted by 200 local archeologists" - archaeologists
• No dead links, though I trust ref 13 works
• No dab links

I enjoyed reading this article, and could find little issues to bring up. Once all of the above are clarified then this should have no problem passing! JAGUAR  20:11, 9 April 2016 (UTC)

Thank you so much again, you are a super-star! I have fixed all the minor issues and Dave (Worm That Turned) will have a look at the lead tomorrow. Thanks, ツStacey (talk) 21:00, 9 April 2016 (UTC)

No worries! Just a small expansion of the lead should do it. JAGUAR  22:47, 9 April 2016 (UTC)

I've added a couple of sentences, Jaguar, do you think it needs any more? Worm^TT(talk) 09:03, 10 April 2016 (UTC)

Thanks, looks great now! With the lead fully summarising the article, this should be good to go. JAGUAR  12:47, 10 April 2016 (UTC)