Talk:Nino, Princess of Mingrelia/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 19:44, 5 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Full disclosure: I am a WIki Cup and GA Cup participant and I am aware that there is a topic ban for the nominator but I figure if I do the review perhaps other wikipedias will pick it up and get issues resolved. At least we've tried.

I am about to start my review of this article, normally I provide my input in bits and pieces over a day or two so expect running updates for a while. MPJ-US 19:44, 5 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

GA Toolbox

I like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.

Peer Review

Lead is too short for an article this size, should be at least two paragraphs especially Good Articles. N

Copyright violations

Tool says "35.9% - Highly Unlikely" Y

Disambiguation links

no problems Y

External links

no problems Y

Well Written

Quite a few issues listed below and this is a relatively short article. - N

Info Box

So I cannot reconsile the years listed under "tenure" with what is in the text, there in correlation.
Most info boxes I see have sources, I would expect some here too

Lead

Is her name just "Nino"? no other name is actually verified,
"After the death of her husband in 1804, Nino was a regent for her underage son, Levan, and helped bring Mingrelia and Abkhazia, a neighboring principality of her in-laws, under the hegemony of the Russian Empire." - I just completed a previous review of a Jaqeli driven article and it had major run-on sentence issues. I am sorry to see this happen here too.

Early life

"Princess Nino was born in Tbilisi as the sixth child of then-Crown Prince George and his first wife, Ketevan Andronikashvili, in 1772, in the lifetime of her reigning grandfather, Heraclius II of Georgia.", seems like a long way around to menion who her grandfather was (is it important to mention this person specifically?)

Through out the sections "Grigol Dadiani" is referred to as "Grigol"? Is that common in Georgia that the first name is actually the family name? If not then that's a familal tone that should not be used in a biography. either "Grigol Dadiani" or "Dadiani" should be used.
"The relations between Solomon and Grigol quickly became soured over their territorial disputes and, in the period of 1791–1802, Grigol thrice lost throne to Solomon's protégés.", that is a very high level description almost in passing "oh yeah he lost the throne three times"? GA needs a greater level of detail than that.

Regency

"Levan had been held since 1802 as a hostage by Kelesh Ahmed-Bey Shervashidze, Prince of Abkhazia, in return for his help to Grigol in the power struggle in Mingrelia." I am unsure exactlu what happend, when, where and so on. This needs to be rewritten.
"In March 1805 the Russian troops" - comma after "1805"
"presidency of Princess Nino", that sounds wrong, is she a president or a princess?
"Furthermore, she was rumored to have been behind the murder of Prince Grigol, who had been briefly involved with a woman of the Chichua family." - mentioned as a side note, "oh yeah people thought she killed her husband", again this should really have more prominece in the article.
"In 1810, Nino sent 1,000 soldiers to the aid of her Abkhazian protégé, Sefer Ali-Bey Shervashidze, who deposed his pro-Ottoman brother, Prince Aslan-Bey, and brought Abkhazia under the Russian protectorate." run-on sentence and no details on her "protoge" other than an off hand mention.

Retirement to Russia

"In 1811, Nino was sidelined from the government of Mingrelia.", I am really missing a few details such as "how" and "why"
"Early in 1820, when Nino was vacationing at Georgiyevsk, Giorgi fell under the suspicion of collaborating with the rebels in Imereti, whom his elder brother, Levan, fought in the Russian ranks." - confusing sentence, reword it.
"Princess Nino's only surviving portrait, produced by an unknown artist during her St. Petersburg years, was purchased in 2010 by the Australian entrepreneur Victor Greenwich Dadianov, a scion of the Dadiani dynasty and Honorary Consul-General of Georgia in Sydney, at one of the auctions of Europe, and was presented by him to the Dadiani Palaces Museum in Zugdidi, Georgia." massive run-on sentence, should be rewritten.

Children

"then, in 1823, Rostom-Bey" I am pretty sure the word "married" shoud be squeezed in there.
"A grandson of her first marriage" - so we're not just listing children? the section becomes unfocused when it goes to grandchildren.

Sources/verifiable

Maybe I am just not looking in the right place but the "Ancestry" section looks totally unsourced?
Simply listing something in a foreign alphabet on the English wiki is not very helpful, it gives me no information, nowhere to look, nothing like that unless I fire up Google translate. publisher, author etc should be given in English and I would think an english translation of the book titles (assuming they are books)
The listed sources look reliable, are correctly formatted etc.

So issues to resolve here - N

Broad in coverage

It appears to generally cover the aspects of her life Y

Netural

It appeares to be factual, neutral and not prone to weasel words or value loaded statemtents. Y

Stable

Rock solid, no real activity in 2015, so that's passed Y

Illustrated / Images

Image "Nino Dadiani, Princess of Samegrelo.jpg" has problems with licenses, including needing a U.S. public domain tag and a missing license parameter. N

Overall

Considering this is a pretty short article it has a large number of prose issues. An article should really have a GA or close to GA level when it's submitted, not rely on the GA reviewer to go through and provide the copyediting to bring it up to the GA level. So much work to be done that I am going to fail it now.