Talk:Native Americans and reservation inequality

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 24 September 2018 and 5 December 2018. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Ronripley.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 01:28, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 18 January 2021 and 14 May 2021. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Gpp105. Peer reviewers: Madison Luzar.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 01:28, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback

As you have probably noted from the banner on this page, this article could be a little bit more neutral and encyclopedic in tone and less like an essay that is trying to argue a certain viewpoint. The easiest way to do that would probably be by re-writing the lead section. I think that the lead section is the main place where this is apparent, as all of the actual sections are all supported by specific statistics and examples.

The organization of the first two sections, teenage pregnancy and violence against Native women, is good, but I would suggest splitting the last section into two separate sections. Suicide and substance abuse are both huge issues that could be developed into their own sections with more detail like the previous two sections were. Of the three main sections, the last section is also where the lack of neutrality in tone is most apparent as it applies causation.

Other than these two suggestions, I don't have any other suggestions for improvement. The sourcing is good. I found the statistics in the article compelling, and it was well written. The section on violence against Native women in particular was fascinating. Good job!

Michellesynhorst (talk) 21:06, 5 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

—

This article is full of great information about Native American inequality but its weak organizational structure could possibly confuse readers. Like Michelle suggested, restructuring the lead section would be a good idea. I would also suggest creating a background section on Native American inequality before jumping into teen pregnancy in order to discuss some of the history and theories like structural inequality theory that seek to explain their differential outcomes as a whole and not just how it relates to teen pregnancy.

I am a bit curious why this article is titled gender and family on Native American reservations. I understand it from the viewpoint of teen pregnancy and violence against women but you do not mention any specific relationship between gender/family and suicide/substance abuse. My suggestion then would be to either relate suicide back to gender and family or to change the article title.

This is such a fascinating topic and you have done a really great job finding a number of different sources. My main suggestions would just be to stick to a theme and make it clear why you are doing so. I would also do a close proofreading of the article as well. I found several grammar mistakes in addition to some awkward wording and redundancies.

NehemiahAnkoor (talk) 07:47, 6 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you both for your suggestions on improving this page. I will definitely take them into consideration as I begin editing the page for improvement. Your suggestions on restructuring the lead section in particular is helpful. I appreciate your though out suggestions and hope you will continue to give me feedback int he future. Thank you again. Risadieken (talk) 15:57, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Adding content

I am a student working on an assignment to improve an article, and I hope to improve this article by adding sections about reservation healthcare and education. Healthcare and education are important topics that I think fit well into the topic and would enhance the subject matter of this article. I also will try to improve and add to the historical background in the introduction and Historical section. If anyone has any feedback or suggestions for what I am trying to do they would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

Cnicholson12 (talk) 23:17, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

This article was the subject of an educational assignment in Fall 2013. Further details were available on the "Education Program:Rice University/Poverty, Justice, Human Capabilities, Section 2 (Fall 2013)" page, which is now unavailable on the wiki.

Title and content - confusing?

I could easily take "Native Americans and reservation inequality" to mean inequality between different reservations which certainly is an issue with some large casino-owning reservations doing much better than a number a rural ones. Is "reservation equality" an established term?

Second, I see many stats on Native Americans mentioned but it is not clear that they are restricted to reservation only. Rmhermen (talk) 23:03, 13 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review 1

The additions to the Education, Healthcare, and Teenage Pregnancy sections of this article are very interesting and provide a lot of new information that is useful for understanding the state of Indian reservations today.

I think the article would benefit most from more in text citations and a close review of each section to make sure that you are being neutral. There are a few instances where I feel you inserted your own opinions, but they could be from the sources, which is why in text citations would help a lot. The section that you should focus on the most when doing this is the “Education” section. There are some phrases in there, like “very important” and “crucial” that make it seem like you are not being neutral. Take a close look at each sentence where you use phrases like those to see if they are your own words or your source’s words and if they are the latter, cite them in the sentence.

Overall, great job with content! Alardenoit (talk) 04:46, 7 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review 2

I think this article is pretty good. The introduction and a few other areas could benefit from more blue links. A few more illustrations would be an improvement. A section on economic inequality and economic disadvantages of living on a reservation would also be helpful. It is really hard to read the map-is there any way you could make it easier to understand? I think the writing could still be further improved, especially in the education section. I like that the organization is very clear and how much information you include. One piece of information that I think is missing from the substances section is Native Americans' genetic predisposition to developing alcoholism. Another source of inequality is racial stereotypes/discrimination-there is actually a wikipedia article that you could look at form more information and link to, Stereotypes about indigenous peoples of North America. I agree with Alyssa that the education section could be made more neutral and that some sections are missing citations. Overall, I think this article looks really good! Juliannadrew (talk) 06:22, 7 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Title Change?

Hi all, in response to some comments I've gotten, I'm considering changing the article title. What do people think of something like 'Native American reservation inequity' or 'Inequity (or inequality or disparities) on Native American reservations'? Feedback would be wonderful! Thanks! Cnicholson12 (talk) 21:27, 2 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

New Project

I want to begin working on an obesity section in this article and focus on a medical and social aspect. Romildcp (talk) 02:12, 12 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Keep up with the sourcing, but otherwise the overall contribution is great. It looks like you reorganized the page, so that structure helped to make the section fit in with the rest of the article. The coverage of history and the junk-food tax seem to be the strongest sections and the information and statistics added help to give an idea of the overall problem. I don’t know if you had the same problems adding links to other pages within Wikipedia, but you could add a few more throughout the sections as well. Dmaldonado08 (talk) 02:07, 29 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Title

The title of this article is semantically confusing and non-descript. Inequality among reservations held by rich and poor tribes? Inequality in terms of federally recognized reservations and state-recognized reservations? And the intro doesn't help much either in explaining what the author of this article wanted this article to talk about, namely social problems on Indian reservations.

It would be better to make the entire article a sub-section called something like "Social problems on Indian reservations" and inserting it into the article "Modern social statistics of Native Americans" or maybe "Reservation poverty". — Preceding unsigned comment added by 158.169.40.10 (talk) 08:10, 8 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I am looking for help in finding some legal rights to my home land even if I am not a tribal member I was born and raised on my mom's reservation and one day I tried to go home and the security stops me and says I'm banned its been three years now and I still haven't seen any paperwork and like maybe caught months ago my banned became permanent for who knows why I still haven't seen any paperwork. HELP me please. Red Doka (talk) 03:43, 26 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Whoops that was 8 months ago my bad. Red Doka (talk) 03:44, 26 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Suicide rates section

I will be expanding this section of the article to include the following sub-sections: 8.1 Recent rates 8.2 Causation 8.3 Demographic correlations 8.3.1 Age 8.3.2 Gender 8.3.3 Location 8.4 Approaches to prevention. Please see my user page for more information, such as my proposed sources. I welcome any comments or suggestions. --Marycneal (talk) 03:00, 5 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I have added my initial edits about more recent suicide rates, as well as about underreporting of deaths in AIAN populations. I will proceed to edit the section's organization once I have added more information. --Marycneal (talk) 22:40, 11 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I have been deliberating about which parent article I should add to so as to more fully develop the topic of suicide in Native Americans. I have now decided to include the aforementioned information in the article "Native Americans in the United States," (instead of in this one) since it is a higher class article receiving more traffic. If necessary, I will make a separate article for "Suicide in Native Americans." The same information and organization will be used. --Marycneal (talk) 19:11, 12 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Wikipedia Ambassador Program course assignment

This article is the subject of an educational assignment at Rice University supported by the Wikipedia Ambassador Program during the 2013 Q1 term. Further details are available on the course page.

The above message was substituted from {{WAP assignment}} by PrimeBOT (talk) on 17:00, 2 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Personal anecdote

There are multiple typos and a personal anecdote written in first person when it details sexual abuse on reservations. 2601:241:8A80:5980:21EF:ABE6:4DB8:D76 (talk) 00:31, 24 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

furs Too many of the poducts brought too be sold to Indians carried diseases in them Indians never had But they got and alcoholic wiped the other half Bury my Heart at Wounded knee!Read Books. Break your heart... Susan Blanchard 2600:1006:B136:5530:0:22:B224:7701 (talk) 15:10, 15 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]