Talk:Moonage Daydream/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MarioSoulTruthFan (talk · contribs) 17:38, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

Format: 7-inch single → source?

Sourced in "release"

Studio Radio Luxembourg, London → Studio: Radio Luxembourg Studios, London

Actually per Template:Infobox_song#Parameters, the word "Studios" should not be used in infoboxes as it's redundant

Needs alt

Fixed

Trident, London → Trident Studios, London

Same as above

No genre for the first release?

Before I started expanding, it was listed as "art rock" but when researching, I wasn't able to any source stating a genre for the original AC recording so I just removed it.

Lead

Bolder, Woodmansey and Scott have called it the best song on the album → seems quite bias since they worked on it

I don't think it is necessarily biased. Even though they were involved in the making, musicians do have opinions on their work; Bowie himself had spoken of his work numerous times during his lifetime and if thoughts from him can be included in articles, why couldn't they? But if you think I should ditch it I will.

Yes I know they speak, but of course for them it is always bias, because you are proude of what you achived/did, of course you can also say you hate it, once more it is bias. You can always say it was their favorite song of the album, but you can't have that on the critical reception.MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah I see what you mean. Removed. – zmbro _(talk) 21:05, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"1972–73" → which tour was this one?

The Ziggy Stardust Tour → Fixed.

Composition and recording

"Burretti did not appear on either track's recording" → what do you mean with this? Wans't he hired as a fashion designer?

Actually he was hired to be AC's frontman. I originally had that written but I must've deleted it by accident. I re-added it.

Peter Doggett writes, the original version had a → Peter Doggett wrote the original version had a

Fixed

The Man Who Sold the World → release date?

1970; added

You use several times the word or variations of "write", try to incoporate others such as "stated, said, affirmed..."
"Bowie had conveyed the mood he wanted to him" → I think you forgot to add something here, to him what? What was Ronson supposed to do?

Fixed, incorporating the crayon quote

Doggett writes → Doggett stated

Fixed

Lyrics

Fine

Release and reception

Violation of copyright on "[I would] literally draw out on paper with a crayon or felt-tip pen the shape of a solo. The one in 'Moonage Daydream', for instance, started as a flat line that became a fat megaphone type shape, and ended as sprays of disassociated and broken lines. I'd read somewhere that Frank Zappa used a series of drawn symbols to explain to his musicians how he wanted the shape of a composition to sound. Mick could take something like that and actually bloody play it, bring it to life." → use your own words

Fixed

"It has been called the best song on the album by Trevor Bolder, Woody Woodmansey and Ken Scott" → bias remove it

Live versions

Diamond Dogs Tour, and on the Outside, Earthling and Heathen tours → tours run (years)

Fixed

Legacy

Fine

Personnel

Use {{spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between the credits and the personnel

Done

Two columns

Fixed, I knew it'd look better that way

You don't need to separe the producers from the musicians

That's how it was when I started expanding – no idea why. Fixed.

Don't need to state that David Bowie is the producer twice

No I do not. Fixed.

References

Amazon, Rhino and AllMusic are publisher

Whoops. Fixed.

External links

Fine

Overall

You can now address the comments I made. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:52, 10 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

MarioSoulTruthFan Thanks for reviewing. Comments above. :-) – zmbro _(talk) 18:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Zmbro: You state that "Burretti did not appear on either track's recording", however he is credit on the Arnold Corns version. I left you something in the lead to do. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:27, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

MarioSoulTruthFan Yeah Burretti is credited as a vocalist on both "Moonage Daydream" and "Hang On to Yourself" (AC versions) but does not appear on either. The sources I have state that Bowie basically hired him just for public image. – zmbro _(talk) 21:13, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]