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Talk:Mercedes-Benz Vision EQXX/GA1

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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 19:20, 19 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Copyvio check

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Earwig says good to go. No concerns from me either. Quotations are used in-line with WP:COPYQUOTE and only short extracts.

Files

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All images relevant, good quality, and copyright-free:

  • File:Mercedes-Benz Vision EQXX 001.jpg: CC BY-SA 4.0, uploaded to Commons by registered user;
  • File:Mercedes-Benz Vision EQXX 002.jpg: CC BY-SA 4.0, uploaded to Commons by registered user.

Prose

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  • In the infobox, is "Production N/A" standard for articles about concept cars?
  • "and like its later EQA and EQB siblings it" – is siblings the right word? Please excuse me if this is car jargon.
  • "In October 2020, Mercedes introduced two dedicated electric vehicle platforms as part of a weekly strategy meeting, the Electric Vehicle Architecture (EVA), and the Mercedes-Benz Modular Architecture (MMA)" – May be personal taste, but I would turn the second comma into an em dash for improved readability, especially with the date at the beginning of the sentence.
  • "Mercedes would build an electric vehicle with a very long all-electric range" – is there a better word choice than very long?
  • "Later, this target was revised to 1,000 km (621 mi)." – recommend changing to "This target was later revised to 1,000 km (621 mi)."
  • "The structure of EQXX is said to incorporate" – why is said to?
  • "Mercedes has also partnered with several external companies for the technology present in the EQXX." – missing a citation.
  • The sentence starting "The cell-to-pack method of packaging" is a bit long. Could the size reductions part possibly be made its own sentence?
  • "should there be a need for extreme heat or intense climate control." – I would wikilink climate control.
  • "The EQXX also uses a 900-volt architecture, which allows for a lower amperage, which in turn allows for thinner cabling, reducing leakages due to Joule heating." – this sentence is awkward. Recommend rephrasing; maybe a full stop somewhere could help?
  • "Despite this capability, during the EQXX's long-range demonstration runs, the charging port was sealed to prevent tampering." – recommend "Despite this capability, the charging port was sealed during the EQXX's long-range demonstration runs to prevent tampering."
  • "other information about car vitals." – as I noted I am not an expert, but are these actually called car vitals?
  • "flush rear wheels" – is there no definition of flush on Wikipedia itself?
  • "are said to be much more aerodynamic than usual." – than usual? Could this be elaborated upon?

Refs

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All sources are either RS or used appropriately, for instance ref 21 is a press release but appears to be used within reason. Does not yet pass spotcheck—no concerns with refs 1, 10, 16, 24, 29, 37 or 41, but:

  • On ref 35, I could not see a mention of the tachometer.

Also:

  • The publication names for refs 5, 8, 16, 19 and 40 are in lowercase; is this correct?

Other

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Short description, navs, other templates and cats all good.

  • Add WP:ALT text to the images.


Fixes:

  • Re the "are said to be much more aerodynamic than usual" ---> I've replaced "than usual" with "compared to regular wing mirrors"
  • As for the flush, the closest thing I can find is Flush door, which is not quite what I was looking for
  • Car vitals point, yes, vitals are things such as tyre pressure, oil pressure (not relevant here), motor temperature etc.
  • I can simply delete the point about the tachometer. In the article, you can see a picture which has the tachometer around the speedometer. It is blurry, but there are videos with it. Simple fix.
  • Publication names, I tend to follow the stylisation on their websites. autoevolution, their logo is stylised in all lowercase, so I roll with that. Same with motor1 and autocar.
  • Can fix the charging port bit. No problem.
  • For the siblings, the EQA and EQB are different lines but both electric. The EQA line is sub-compact SUV, the EQB is a crossover SUV. The difference between the two is that the latter is slightly larger in terms of dimensions. I think siblings is an appropriate word.
  • Yeah that em dash thing could work.
  • Target revised sentence revised.
  • I said *said to* because Mercedes claim it to be. Quite frankly, I have no idea if it is true or not. I can remove that if you'd like.
  • I did not cite the several other companies because I mention the several other companies in the following paragraphs and sections. I can add one, if need be.
  • I can juggle up the cell-to-pack sentence
  • Wikilink climate control, done.
  • Voltage sentence changed.
  • Tampering sentence changed. X750. Spin a yarn? Articles I've screwed over? 23:58, 20 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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