Talk:Marie Wittman/GA1
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Reviewer: The Most Comfortable Chair (talk · contribs) 16:06, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
Hello. I will review it in a day or two. One of my textbooks in college had briefly mentioned Jean-Martin Charcot so this is a fascinating topic for me. — The Most Comfortable Chair 16:06, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]- "which resulted in amputations due to radiation poisoning." — Mention what was amputated.
- Done
- "Charcot's techniques were controversial; commentators have disagreed whether Wittman suffered from a physical condition like epileptic seizures, from mass hysteria resulting from conditions at La Salpêtrière, or was merely faking the symptoms." — Avoid using "from" thrice, so tweak it a little.
- Done
Biography
[edit]Early life
[edit]- "She was prone to fits of anger, to which her mother by throwing a bucketful of water on her." → "She was prone to fits of anger, to which her mother responded by throwing water on her." — Unless the sentence is supposed to imply something else. Removing "bucketful" per Talk:Marie Wittman/Iconographie.
- Done
- "Wittman stayed with her mother from age 14 to 15" — mention her working in laundry, per Talk:Marie Wittman/Iconographie.
- Done
- "Wittman stayed with her mother from age 14 to 15, during which time she" → "Wittman stayed with her mother from age 14 to 15, during which she".
- Done
- "she had sex with a jeweler named Louis." — The translation on Talk:Marie Wittman/Iconographie says that "she had relations" with the jeweler. Unless it is explicitly stated somewhere that they only had sex, it should be "she had relations with a jeweler named Louis". If you can find a source claiming they had sex, it should be something along the lines of "she had relations with a jeweler named Louis and they engaged in sexual intercourse."
- Done
- "she sought asylum in a convent." → "she sought asylum in a convent on the Rue du Cherche-Midi ."
- Done
- "Her attacks were largely at night" — mention that she would see Louis during her attacks, per Talk:Marie Wittman/Iconographie.
- Done
Treatment by Charcot
[edit]- "Her attacks began seven days after admission and followed the three stages – epileptoid, generalized clonus, and delirium – that Charcot identified." → "Her attacks began seven days after admission and followed the three stages—epileptoid, generalized clonus, and delirium—that Charcot identified."
- Not done Spaced en dashes are acceptable per MOS:DASH
- Her attacks should be described here as they are in "Page 8" of Talk:Marie Wittman/Iconographie. Let me know if you need help with this (I am a medical doctor).
- I'd absolutely appreciate your help – I don't even play a doctor on TV.
- "Static electricity from a Ramsden machine was used in 1879 to restore feeling to one arm." — Which arm? It was mentioned earlier that she had loss of sensitivity in her left arm.
- Done
- "She was also a subject for faradisation experiments" — Link faradisation since its a technical term. Perhaps to Wiktionary.
- Done
- "The Discovery of the Unconscious" → "The Discovery of the Unconscious (1970)".
- Done
- Last two paragraphs here should switch places for a proper timeline. "A 2017 study..." should be the last paragraph.
- Done
Later life
[edit]- "Wittman returned to the hospital" — Specify which hospital since two hospitals are mentioned in the previous section.
- Done
- Mention her cause of death in the prose instead of the footnote.
- Roldan is the only source to mention that cause of death. Given that it's in the same sentence as a probably-incorrect year of death, I'm hesitant to place it in the prose.
Depictions
[edit]- "used as a demonstration" → "used in a demonstration".
- Done
- "a 2020 paper argues that the apparatus visible next to Charcot is in fact a du Bois-Reymond induction device" — remove "in fact".
- Done
- "The novel was well received; with its use of Curie's investigations of radiation as a metaphor for human experience praised." → "The novel was well received; its use of Curie's investigations of radiation as a metaphor for human experience was praised."
- Done
- However, a 2007 letter published in The Lancet — link The Lancet.
- Done
References
[edit]- Reference 5 — is the publication date June 26, 2014 per PubMed?
- Done
- Reference 10 — the publication date is December 23, 2006 per The Lancet.
- Done
- Reference 11 — needs accessdate.
- Done
That will be all for now. The article is well-written and it should pass. Cheers. — The Most Comfortable Chair 07:22, 4 September 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks for the detailed review! I believe I've addressed just about everything. Pi.1415926535 (talk)
Final
[edit]- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- It is a good read and meets the criteria. Thank you for your efforts. — The Most Comfortable Chair 07:37, 6 September 2020 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail: