Talk:Lowry War/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jens Lallensack (talk · contribs) 15:02, 6 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Looks interesting, will read shortly! One first comment to make the start, for now:

Optional: There are some extremely long sections which I would recommend to split up using additional headings. This just helps reading a lot, giving some orientation. And these long sections seem even longer when compared with the "Background" section, which is split into three short sections (I don't yet know if it makes sense to combine these, using introductory sentences to guide the reader instead of headings). --Jens Lallensack (talk) 15:02, 6 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
- I've broken up the longest section with another header, but I'm having trouble finding other natural thematic cleavages to divide upon. If you have any suggestions for further breaks I'd be glad to hear them.
that the some gang members – word too much?
- Fixed.
transferred to the more secure, brick jail in Wilmington – comma too much?
- Fixed.
Stephen Lowry, Steve Lowry – you appear to use these interchangeably. It would be better to be consistent; wondering about the different choice of names disrupts reading flow, and I even fear some might think these are two separate people.
- Changed to "Steve". Sources use both but prefer Steve.
rose from an embankment on the side of a road shot John Taylor through the head – "and" missing?
- Fixed.
Could you provide unit conversions for the yards per MOS:CONVERSIONS? I personally have no idea how long 50 yards is.
- Done.
the Lowry Gang entered Lumberton and broke Tom Lowry and Forney Oxendine out of the county jail – I'm probably missing something, but I can't find the mention where Tom was captured and detained?
- Evans mention's Tom's escape from custody twice but never covers the circumstances of his capture.
I'm wondering a bit about the infobox. It lists 22 killed, but this also includes people that were not actually members of either party? On the same token, "2 arrested and released" doesn't include the woman?
- 22 killed of the authorities side of things (militiamen, posse members, etc.). The only way that would be inaccurate is if the Lowry Gang killed some "innocent bystanders" or a robbery victim that wasn't party to the conflict. The only odd case there would be Reuben King, but considering his status as former sheriff and his threats against the gang I think its fair to consider him a part of the anti-Lowry group (not to justify his murder though). This would not include Benjamin Bethea, an innocent man basically lynched by one of the posses. I do think Ahearn's calculation would include Barnes and Harris, though, and the infobox of course includes 1864 in the time frame. And yes the women are not included because the sources don't treat them as members of the gang. If this is all too confusing it can be removed the from the infobox, which is only supposed to concisely summarize the article, not create confusion!
@Indy beetle: That's all I could find. Excellent article, it is more than ready to be submitted to FAC. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 18:39, 8 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
- @Jens Lallensack: I've responded to your comments. -Indy beetle (talk) 19:16, 14 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  - Thanks, all looks good, promoting now! --Jens Lallensack (talk) 19:25, 14 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]