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Talk:Love It If We Made It/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: RunningTiger123 (talk · contribs) 03:43, 19 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I enjoy the 1975's work and this song in particular, so I'm looking forward to this review. I'll have my comments up in the next few days. RunningTiger123 (talk) 03:43, 19 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@RunningTiger123: Thanks for choosing to review! Glad to hear you enjoy the song. I’m looking forward to this as well, since this is the last single to be reviewed for GA status from A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships. Cheers! Giacobbe talk 12:55, 19 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

· · ·

Okay, sorry for the delay – here's the first part of my review. I've marked the criteria that pertain to the overall article, and I'll be going through the other sections one by one to check the remaining criteria.

  • 2a: References appear to be formatted correctly (I'll verify more when I check individual sections)
  • 2d: No copyvio issues, the biggest similarities are from quoted text as expected
  • 3–5: No issues
  • 6: While not strictly required, alt text for images is always a good idea and should be added. I've marked 6b as on hold until this is added, since this is related to captions.

I'll add more comments for the lead and first few sections in a little bit.  Done RunningTiger123 (talk) 04:41, 21 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • Overall, the lead is too long to comfortably read. I would cut out or significantly trim the long lists within the prose, especially the list of publications naming it as a top song and the list of its chart positions. I also think many of the sentences in the second paragraphs could be trimmed, and the line presented by the British Academy of Songwriters, Composers, and Authors (BASCA) can be cut entirely. Remember, this is a summary, so don't list off too many details here. Let me know if you need any help with this.  Done
  • I've always used "tabloids" as the plural, not "tabloid" like the first paragraph uses.  Done
  • The first sentence of the third paragraph is difficult to read; I would split it to make it easier to follow the clauses.  Done
Background and release
  • Wikilink Lil Peep  Done
  • Cite source 14 after the use of Connick's quote to make the attribution clear  Done
  • Source 18 is a removed video and does not prove the release date was 19 July  Done
Writing and recording
  • Source 19 needs a website or publisher  Done
  • The wikilink on industrial feels unnecessary, and I personally found it misleading – I thought they were discussing industrial music. I think it's best to remove the link entirely.  Done
  • Cut the first line of the third paragraph (To create the lyrics...), as it isn't clearly supported by source 20.  Done
  • Source 19 is misrepresented in the line The lyrics "I moved on her...". I think he's saying that some of the lyrics were finished four days before, but not necessarily that line. Also, source 19 makes no mention of the line "I moved on her like a bitch".  Done
  • Use em dashes ("—") or spaced en dashes (" – ") on either side of a remark made by Trump captured on the Access Hollywood tape  Done
  • Although Daniel urged him – it wasn't just Daniel, it was all of his bandmates  Done
  • The wikilink for Idiocracy shouldn't be to ideocracy, it should be to the actual article for the term or the definition of it.  Done

I'll try to have the remaining sections done tomorrow. RunningTiger123 (talk) 05:35, 21 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Apologies again for the delay; here are my comments on the remaining sections.

Inspiration

No issues.

Music and lyrics
  • I think the chord progression should be removed – it's a bit too technical, and I don't agree with starting the progression on A(♯11)sus2.  Done
  • Use ' for the apostrophe in DIY's  Done
  • Sources 37 and 38 don't describe the synths as "gleaming", so cut that word
  • Not sure where you're quoting "gigantic" from...
    • Edit: turns out it's source 40, but that's not clear from the ref tags. I think this is also where "gleaming" comes from. Make sure the references aren't interrupted – since there are other references between source 40 and what it's citing, you need to cite source 40 again to make the attribution clear. You can probably remove source 40 from where it's currently at to avoid citing it three times in a row.
  • Same for "hazy"...
  • @RunningTiger123: As for the above three comments, per WP:OVERCITE: "In addition, as per WP:PAIC, citations should be placed at the end of the passage that they support." The citations support what is written throughout the statement, just at the last time they are used to support something in the sentence. If your preference is to cite after each use within the sentence, I can modify. Just let me know :) Giacobbe talk 12:01, 23 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • his heroin addiction – whose?  Done
  • Use em or spaced en dashes around including a Twitter interaction with West and where horrendous tragedies "sit side by side with the mundane in a clinical detachment"  Done
  • You switch between "US" and "U.S." a couple of times – I don't have a preference, but use only one for consistency.  Done
  • I would swap the second and third paragraphs of this section – start from the facts of the song's production to provide fuller context before delving into deeper themes.  Done
  • Not sure where the source for the quoted "explodes" is...
Reception
  • Source 73 has updated; make the primary link the archived page instead, or use a different link. (Also, update the website from ivorsacademy.com.)  Done
  • Italicize Los Angeles Times  Done
  • I'll trust that the accolades list is accurate – I have no reason to doubt it, and this review is long enough already.
Commercial performance
  • Source 115 references the wrong chart; it should reference Rock Airplay, not Alternative Airplay. (Source 134 looks like the correct source.)  Done
Music video
  • filmed during the band's video for "TooTimeTooTimeTooTime" – source?
  • @RunningTiger123: [143]: "... and clips of fans filmed at the 'TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME' video shoot.".
  • Swap sources 132 and 133 to match the order in which the two awards are named.  Done
Credits and personnel, charts, and certifications

All good.

Release history
  • Update source 135  Done

I know that was a long review, but that should be everything. Let me know if you have any questions. RunningTiger123 (talk) 04:28, 23 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@RunningTiger123: I believe I've resolved/responded to all of your comments. Please let me know if there's anything I've missed! Thank you for taking the time to review. Giacobbe talk 13:31, 23 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I've left comments above – everything looks good except for the cited vocal range. I don't have the full sheet music, so maybe there's something missing, but I'm going off what I can see on the website there. RunningTiger123 (talk) 03:29, 24 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@RunningTiger123: Okay, I’ve removed the symbol. Should be good now. Giacobbe talk 11:22, 24 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Great work! Passing shortly. RunningTiger123 (talk) 18:29, 24 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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