Talk:Look at Your Game, Girl

Look at Your Game, Girl has been listed as one of the Music good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: February 1, 2018. (Reviewed version).

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Songs

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Guns N' Roses (inactive)

This article is within the scope of WikiProject Guns N' Roses, a project which is currently considered to be inactive.Guns N' RosesWikipedia:WikiProject Guns N' RosesTemplate:WikiProject Guns N' RosesGuns N' Roses articles

When did Manson record this song?

The article doesn't provide any information on song's history such as recording date,etc.jeanne (talk) 18:00, 19 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"family founder" is a really odd way to talk about a killer and the people he gathered around himself. Is this a specific term? If so, it needs to be clarified but right now, it just sounds sympathetic to a cult leader (and therefore not consistent with wikipedia POV guidelines). 98.30.131.73 (talk) 01:13, 7 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"Manson Family" is a term in common usage. Using the word "family" to refer to it simply reflects this common usage, and imputes neither positive nor negative character to the group of which he was indisputably founder and central figure. Your objection might have some merit if it were the case that the word "family" was an undeniably positive term with a concrete meaning. However there are many views as to what comprises a family. See Family, particularly Family#Contemporary views of the family. DickClarkMises (talk) 05:49, 18 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Look at Your Game, Girl. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: TheGracefulSlick (talk · contribs) 15:18, 31 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Note: some of these are recommendations. If you disagree or believe it can be addressed in another way, explain why. My opinion is not the final verdict.

Lede

Was this indeed a single and would that be lede worthy? A single chronology should be included in the infobox. Also, is there any cover art/records/sheet music artwork that could be added to the infobox?

@TheGracefulSlick: There is no evidence that I can find that this song was ever released as a single. One could include the cover of the Lie album as an image on this page.

I recommend splitting this sentence: A folk rock and psychedelic folk ballad about an insane woman, "Look at Your Game, Girl" bears similarity to the music of the Beatles and the writings of Robert A. Heinlein and L. Ron Hubbard, and was included on a tape that Manson sent to record companies.
Manson's version can become His version to avoid repetition.

Background

You mention the lyrics: Manson sings: "Think you're loving baby, but all you're doing is crying... Are those feelings real?" but the significance is unclear. Was the fact following sentence analyzing the lyrics? If so, I would replace the period with a semicolon to establish more of a connection between the two statements.
For According to AllMusic..., include the writer's name.
I would either clarify or replace ...before he achieved infamy. Briefly mention the murders instead.

Critical reception

No issues but I'll double check.

Guns N Roses version

This -- Marilyn Manson, a musician whose stage name is derived from the names of Charles Manson and Marilyn Monroe -- is unnecessary trivia. His stage name alone will suffice.
One small concern with According to the autobiography, Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails took Manson to a U2 concert where Manson met Rose backstage; there, Manson mentioned his song "My Monkey", which incorporates lyrics from Lie: The Love and Terror Cult. "Manson" should be replaced at least once to avoid repetition.
For on "The Spaghetti Incident?" (1993), an album of covers of punk rock songs, try "...a cover album of punk rock songs". It flows better.
After introducing their cover, expressions like Guns N' Roses' cover of "Look at Your Game and Guns N' Roses version of the song become redundant. "Guns N Roses' cover" or "version" are enough since you have established which what the subject is.
Another recommendation for flow: Rose also claimed that he initially believed that Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys authored the song; Wilson was aquainted with Manson can become "Rose also claimed that he initially believed that Dennis Wilson, a Beach Boy and former acquaintance of Manson's, authored the song".

Other notes

Re-read to see if you can address any other redundancies. I just pointed out glaring instances.

MagicatthemovieS I have offered some recommendations/concerns. Ping me with any questions, comments, or if you addressed everything.TheGracefulSlick (talk) 02:49, 1 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@TheGracefulSlick: I addressed all of your concerns. -- MagicatthemovieS