Talk:Lamont Roach Jr./GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 13:41, 7 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Going to review this for the GAN March 2021 Backlog Drive. MWright96 (talk) 13:41, 7 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Lead

It would be better for the lead to be more than just a single sentence in one paragraph such as adding more of Roach's achievements

Early life

Wikilink punching bag
"and learn some of the basics." - basics of boxing.
"his record was 125–15," - use the {{abbr}} template on the text in bold to explain its meaning to non-boxer readers
"with two of those losses coming at the hands of Gervonta Davis." - coming from Gervonta Davis.
"both at 132 lbs." - use the {{convert}} template on the text in bold; also, the fact will need an extra reference to verify it
"He also captured a bronze medal" - claimed

Professional career

Be consistent in how unimaous decision is written in this section. For example, one sentence writes it as UD while another says unanimous decision
"Roach made his pro debut on April 19, 2014," - professional
Wikilink knockdown to the appropriate article on the first mention only for non-Boxing readers
"before the fight was stopped in the fourth round in his favor," - stopped by whom?
"he stopped Alejandro Valdez inside of two minutes in Indio, California" - source that cites this portion of text does not explicitly say Indio, California so another source will be needed to the one already existant to verify this
"Just days before his next fight, a non-title bout versus Dominican veteran Luis Hinojosa in October," - needs a reference to verify
Wikilink the first mention of the term card to Card (sports)
"his cousin and life-long trainer Bernard "Boogaloo" Roach passed away of a heart attack." - avoid using euphemisms per MOS:EUPHEMISM
"He received a shot at the vacant WBO International super featherweight title," - reword the text in bold to something more formal
"when Roach hit the Puerto Rican" - avoid using the nationality of his opponent
"to #5 in the WBO rankings." - please avoid using # per MOS:HASH
"to #2 in January 2019." - same issue as above
"he received his world title shot against" - use a more formal word instead of the one highlighted in bold

Professional boxing record

The tables are missing the scope="col"(s) from the columns so that it complies with MOS:DTT
The first column, the one starting with "22", will need to have a "|" added to the end of it for consistency

References

Reference 12 "LAMONT ROACH JR. FIGHTS IN MEMORY OF LONGTIME TRAINER, COUSIN WHO DIED LAST MONTH" - no all capital words per MOS:ALLCAPS
Reference 13 "Young Lamont Roach, Jr. shows poise in win at MGM" is dead and will need archiving
Reference 24 "Canelo vs Jacobs results: Lamont Roach Jr outpoints Jonathan Oquendo over 10 rounds" - try to use a more reliable source that is not SB Nation to verify the information it does

Am placing the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above MWright96 (talk) 14:58, 7 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: Addressed most of the concerns but I'm not too sure what to do for the first point of the "Professional boxing record" section. Thanks for your review. JTtheOG (talk) 00:57, 9 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@JTtheOG: I have done the tables so that one can know what to do in the future. Anyway, am promoting to GA class MWright96 (talk) 09:35, 9 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]