Talk:Ladislaus IV of Hungary/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Notecardforfree (talk · contribs) 18:37, 22 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	~~See comments for portions of the article that require clarification.~~ The prose is clear, concise, and very interesting!
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	The article satisfies these policy requirements.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	All assertions are supported by an inline citation. The author has done an excellent job researching this topic.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	The author utilizes reliable articles and books.
	2c. it contains no original research.	No concerns about original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	This article is broad in its scope.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	This article does not lose focus.
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	~~See comments regarding "the Cuman question."~~ All issues have been resolved; there are no problems with neutrality.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	This article has been stable since July, 2015.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	All images are properly licensed.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	No issued with MOS for images.
	7. Overall assessment.	~~See comments below.~~ This article satisfies all GA criteria.

Comments from Notecardforfree

This is a very well-researched article about a fascinating figure. I was very impressed by the author's exemplary use of inline citations to support factual assertions. Overall, this article is very close to passing this GA review, but there are a few items that need to be addressed, which I have listed below. For the most part, these are phrases that require further clarification. I certainly don't think there are any major structural flaws with this article, and I am confident that it won't take too much work to resolve these issues.

Notecardforfree, thank you for your thorough and comprehensive review. I tried to fix most problems that you mentioned below. Borsoka (talk) 16:44, 23 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

”At the age of eight, he married Elisabeth (or Isabella).” The section about his childhood says the marriage took place in 1270, but if the marriage took place before August 5 of that year, he would still only be seven years old. Can you include a citation to a source that says he was eight at the time of the marriage?
“…. the prelate was shocked at the presence of masses of the pagan Cumans." Because the word “mass” may refer to an act of worship in some churches (see Mass (liturgy)), can you use a different word? Maybe you could say he was shocked by the large Cuman population in the region?
”Ladislaus decided to support them ….” By “them,” I assume you mean the Cumans? If yes, then I would replace the pronoun “them” with “the Cumans.”
”He left his wife and lived with his Cuman mistresses.” You should say the year I which this event occurred (later in the article, you indicate that this occurred in 1283). For example, you should say something like: “In 1283, he left his wife ….”
”During the last years of his life, royal authority actually vanished ….” Can you clarify the phrase “actually vanished?” Did he still retain nominal power, or did the monarchy cease to exist?

Childhood

”According to his chaplain ….” Was he Ladislaus’ chaplain, Stephen’s chaplain, or Bela’s chaplain?
”Historian Pál Engel suggests that Joachim Gutkeled planned to force Stephen V to divide Hungary with his son.” By “his son” do you mean Ladislaus or Joachim Gutkeled’s son?

Minority (1272–1277)

”Ladislaus contracted an unidentified serious illness around the same time, but recovered from it.” By “around the same time, do you mean the end of 1274? If yes, you should provide the specific year.
”A new civil war broke out between Joachim Gutkeled and Peter Csák.” In what year did this happen?
”The Babonići rose up in rebellion in Slavonia.” In what year did this happen?
”Joachim Gutkeled died while battling against the Babonići in April.” Do you mean April 1277?

The Cuman question (1278–1285)

”Pope Nicholas III sent Philip, Bishop of Fermo, to Hungary to help Ladislaus restore royal power.” In what year did that occur? 1278 or 1279?
I am a little concerned that the title of this section presents the Cuman people in an unduly negative light. Maybe you can call this section "period of conflict" or something like that?

I would prefer the present title: the Cumans represented a major problem in this period and his close connection with the Cumans contributed to his fall. Could we call the period of Napoleonic wars as "a period of conflicts", or the Magyar raids in Europe in the 10th century as a "period of movements of horsemen in Europe"? :) Borsoka (talk) 16:44, 23 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Upon further review, I think you are correct that the current title is okay. -- Notecardforfree (talk) 21:19, 23 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Last years (1285–1290)

You include a quotation from King Ladislaus, in which he says: “I shall exterminated the whole lot right up to Rome with the aid of Tartar swords.” Are you sure the quotation uses the word “exterminated” (ungrammatical) rather than “exterminate” (grammatical)?
You write: “Hungary's central government actually disappeared, since the prelates and the barons ruled the kingdom independently of the monarch.” Wouldn’t it be more accurate to say the monarchy disappeared? It sounds like the barons simply took control of the central government.

Sorry, I am not a native speaker, so I cannot decide. However, I think the monarchy disappeared in Hungary only in 1946, because Hungary had continuously been a kingdom between 1000 and 1946. Could we say that the monarchy disappeared in England during the War of Roses? Or could we say that the United Kingdom is not a monarchy because the queen does not have any actual power? Borsoka (talk) 16:44, 23 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I changed the phrase "actually disappeared" to "lost power" so that readers don't think the monarchy ceased to exist. -- Notecardforfree (talk) 21:15, 23 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

General comments

Is there a reason why you always capitalize the word “Palatine?” In the article for Palatine of Hungary, the term is not used as a proper noun.
Can you include a citation for the list of ancestors?
Is there a reason why you chose to put a picture of his seal in the infobox rather than a picture with a clearer representation of his likeness? The Hungarian language version of this article uses this picture, which I think may give readers a better sense of what Ladislaus looked like.

Yes, this is his contemporaneous portrait. The colourful portraits were made centuries after his death. I would prefer a contemporaneous portrait in the box. Borsoka (talk) 16:44, 23 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

That makes sense. I agree that the contemporaneous portrait is better. -- Notecardforfree (talk) 21:16, 23 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Please let me know if you have any questions or if any of my comments don't make sense. I will put this review on hold for one week so that these issues can be resolved. Best, -- Notecardforfree (talk) 18:37, 22 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Borsoka, thank you for your prompt edits to this article. It really looks fantastic! This article is almost ready to be promoted to GA status. The only thing you still need to do is to add a footnote after the phrase "Ancestors of Ladislaus IV of Hungary" in the "Ancestors" section, so that readers can know where you found the information about Ladislaus' ancestors. Best, -- Notecardforfree (talk) 21:22, 23 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for making the change. This article now satisfies all the GA criteria. Congratulations! -- Notecardforfree (talk) 16:59, 24 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]