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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

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This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Ayi1016.

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

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This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Achen39. Peer reviewers: Achen39.

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

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This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Solita Sol.

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

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This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 30 October 2018 and 11 December 2018. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Qhdud12. Peer reviewers: Qhdud12.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 23:44, 17 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

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This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 13 January 2020 and 16 May 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Schulzr2.

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Revert User:AnnaLiebert Removing Content About Plastic Surgary

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Per WP:BRD we should discuss the intent behind these edits and how to consider them as we improve the article. AnnaLiebert seems to take issue with content about Plastic sugary, which is common in Korea according to good sources on the matter. I feel AnnaLiebert should explain the intent behind these edits and should try to improve the material without broadly removing germane information.


First Round of Feedback

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@Ayi1016: Greetings! Good start to this article. You've got some good stuff here. That said, I'm really concerned with a few things about the article and it's really not ready to be published yet:

  • This article is currently written like an essay, not like an encyclopedia article. Check out the article on physical attractiveness for an example. You need to write about a thing in the world not make an argument. It's not even clear to me what the specific concept you are talking about here is. What will the title of the article be? Write that word in bold letters in the first sentence.
  • As I said when you proposed this, you need to keep the article factual and neutral.
  • You need to establish the notability of this topic using reliable sources. You've got some references here which is good. Perhaps once you work on the text, the degree to which these establish notability will be useful.

As I mentioned when you suggested this, I think this is a challenging topic to write an encyclopedic article about. Keep working on it and let me know if you need help! —mako 19:59, 23 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

More Feedback

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@Ayi1016: I can see you moved the article live. I think your edits have improved things but I think there's still a sense that the draft reads a bit more like an essay than article and there are still a sense that I think you should work on an encyclopedic WP:TONE. Focus on the facts about beauty standards in Korea. If somebody knew nothing about they topic, they would what expect this article not just to tell them that beauty standards are important in Korea but they would want to know what beauty standards in Korea entail. Can you try to edit this article to make it more focused on facts (and backed up with references) in this way? —mako 02:23, 27 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

So I made some changes and hopefully this is what you are looking for... I'll keep on editing if it needs more work. Would you prefer if I moved my article back to my sandbox? AmyAyi1016 (talk) 04:05, 27 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Ayi1016: It's interesting article Amy! I added culture pressure section because I think Korean beauty standard has been changed due to pressures that students and young women facing. If you can find pictures relate to this topic, it would be much great!Minjiwoo (talk) 23:43, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Changes

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@Ayi1016: You're article has received a bunch of good edits and contributions from User:Teemeah included a bunch of places where they have asked you to add citations. You could really improve the article by responding and fixes these. —mako 04:36, 3 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, I noticed the feedback and I was planning to edit throughout this week. Thank you. AmyAyi1016 (talk) 04:46, 3 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback from fellow Classmate

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@Ayi1016: This article shows notability. Ideals such as the ones you describe are something worth being knowledable about. The cultural practices in other parts of the world are of interest so I really enjoyed reading it. I would like to make some suggestions. It could be beneficial to add some statistics about the rise in plastic surgery operations in Korea. Expanding on that could give it some more depth. Overall, its great! MariaMamba11 (talk) 06:43, 6 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Good Start

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From reading this so far, it seems as though you have a good bases. This article as of now looks like it is just a rough draft. A few suggestions would be separating the "ideals of beauty" in the culture. Maybe research, where do these beauty standards come from and how they came to be? You can also consider the effects of these standards. As of now this topic is growing so there is still more research that needs to be done. Another thing to consider is the health effects of beauty standards, both physically and mentally. Hope this helps.

2601:240:C500:28E:91ED:5D71:CA86:638C (talk) 23:17, 6 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]


I would like to add more to the page. I would like to answer questions about this topic. Like how much money is spent on beauty products and surgery. How important is beauty to Koreans. How are things like tattoos and piercing looked upon. What does the government think about this and what do they do. And just in general how is Korean beauty data compared to the rest of the world. My sources would be: http://go.galegroup.com.db07.linccweb.org/ps/i.do?&id=GALE%7CA460483622&v=2.1&u=lincclin_ecc&it=r&p=GRGM&sw=w , http://go.galegroup.com.db07.linccweb.org/ps/i.do?&id=GALE%7CA443058066&v=2.1&u=lincclin_ecc&it=r&p=EAIM&sw=w&authCount=1 , and http://go.galegroup.com.db07.linccweb.org/ps/i.do?&id=GALE%7CA398145834&v=2.1&u=lincclin_ecc&it=r&p=EAIM&sw=w Solita Sol (talk)

«President of Korea has had a president undergo surgery»

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I'm not a native speaker but this seems wrong a needing and rephrase right?

Good job!

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your article is clear and precise. It also uses a neutral tone and references sources respectably. The information you provided is also informative and well researched while staying aligned with Wikipedia policies. I truly enjoyed reading and learning about the levels of Korean beauty standards. Tcampos2 (talk) 20:12, 12 November 2018 (UTC)@Tcampos2[reply]

Interesting article!

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This article certainly does have an interesting content. However, there are some parts are unclear for me. I think it would be really great if you can provide some evidence about that Korean students have a low self-esteem. Maybe statistics or survey results back up this information. And, you also mention that Korean students are not allowed to wear makeup or jewelry at school. Which students? High school? Middle school? I think that the article could be improved if you clarify that part. But, overall, it is very good! Qhdud12 (talk) 18:52, 17 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Remember Qhdud12, that a Wikipedia article is a crowdsourced and collective product, so there is no "you," there is only a "we." Always a good practice to check in on the Talk page, so Be Bold and edit with evidence! --- FULBERT (talk) 19:51, 17 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Added Stats about an increase in sales of plastic surgery from 1999 -2000

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I added the statistics about an increase in sales of plastic surgery from 1999 -2000, which could be helpful for the article. Qhdud12 (talk) 19:57, 3 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Male Korean Beauty Standards

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Does anyone else think that there should be a section on male Korean beauty standards? This article talks a lot about different actions taken due to the beauty standards, but it does not really mention male beauty standards or how male standards affect Korean society.

Original research and misrepresentation of Jung et al (2009)

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Article says this:

"There are rigid expectations for South Korean women to have large eyes and a thin, high nose bridge which is arguably a trait that is representative of Caucasian women.[10]"

There is literally no mention of any facial features or anything like this that source. That's a complete misrepresentation. It helps to have a working link reference:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/225871728_Body_Dissatisfaction_and_Disordered_Eating_Among_Early_Adolescents_From_Korea_and_the_US

All it talks about is body dysmorphia. And there are some mentionable things to add from this study:

"Second, most studies have failed to control for body size. Because body dissatisfaction is related to body size (Grogan 1999), and Korean and other East Asian groups typically have bodies that are smaller and slimmer than Western bodies (Jung and Lee 2006), controls for body size are essential."

"A recent series of studies have begun to address some of these limitations. Jung and Lee (2006) found that, as compared to a sample of US college women, Korean college women were more critical of their appearance and more dissatisfied with their bodies. Jung and Forbes ( 2006) extended these findings and reported that Korean college women had greater body dissatisfaction than US college women on ten different measures of body dissatisfaction."

"However, on the CDRS the number of participants whose ideal body was smaller than their current body, a widely used measure of body dissatisfaction, was Korean girls n=178 (48.7%), Korean boys n=134 (48.7%), US girls n=79 (32.8%), US boys n=91 (37.1%). This suggests a moderately high level of body dissatisfaction in all groups."

All relevant here as it shows this phenomenon is by no means restricted to Korean females.

And also:

"Countless studies depict the unfortunate psychosocial impact of these beauty standards that adhere to Western features as South Korean women were found to have a higher risk of body dysmorphia, dislike for their body, higher likelihood of eating disorders which were accompanied by depression, low self-esteem, and stress.[6]"

There is nothing in this source 6 (Lin et al) or 11 (Jung et al) to support such statements; no "countless studies" about Western influence. 2603:8080:2C00:1E00:9457:9A5F:2483:5292 (talk) 00:50, 20 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]