Talk:Kanariya

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Kanariya/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 20:08, 27 September 2016 (UTC)

Soon... Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:08, 27 September 2016 (UTC)

Lead

• Japanese: translated to "Canary" → Japanese: "Canary"
• single, limiting physical sales units to → single with limited physical units of
• There are two versions of "Kanariya"; a radio edit that was → produced by DJ Jonathan Peters, and an album version composed by Yasuhiko Hoshino. → Two versions of "Kanariya" were made available for consumption—a radio edit produced by DJ Jonathan Peters, and the album version composed by Yasuhiko Hoshino.
• music critics. Some praised → music critics, with some of the praising
• edit, while reviews generally criticized → edit, but generally criticizing
• was a success in Japan → experienced success in Japan (due to fancruft)
• 300,000 unit → plural
• Word repetition through "units"; use copies in one case
• An accompanying music video → An accompanying music video for the recording
• which featured → with it portraying
• laboratory, surrounded → remove comma
• conducted → released
• link "remix and greatest hits compilations" to respective articles on Wikipedia.
  •  Done.

Infobox

• Digital download → no capital letter
• Dance music → Dance + isn't it just the genre of the remix?
• Avex Entertainment Inc. → Avex
  •  Done.

Background and release

• There are two versions of "Kanariya"; a radio edit that was remixed and produed by American DJ Jonathan Peters, and an album version composed by Yasuhiko Hoshino. → same as in the lead
• is heavily influenced throughout Hamasaki's → heavily influences Hamasaki's
• add comma after "studio album"
• Loveppears (1999), and also → Loveappears (1999); the track also
• keyboards by Peter → keyboards managed by Peter
• and eventually → and was eventually
• Word repetition through "song" at the end of the first para.
• limiting physical sales units to 300,000 copies. → same as in the lead
• The CD format → The physical format (to avoid repetitions)
• 13 → thirteen
• 11 of which → of which eleven
• "Kanariya", plus a remix for Hamasaki's tracks "Two of Us" and "From the Letter"; the former appeared on her debut studio album A Song for ×× (1999), whilst the latter was included as a B-side track for her single "Depend on You". → "Kanariya", also incorporating a remix for Hamasaki's tracks "Two of Us" and "From the Letter". While the former appeared on her debut studio album, A Song for xx (1999), the latter was...
• Remove "Then on"
• 12" inch vinyl; the vinyl include → 12" inch vinyl, including
• Peters' → Peters
• The artwork → The single's artwork
• The CD did not include a booklet, so the photograph immolated as a picture disc but did feature a clear plastic sheet that featured information about the single → The physical version of "Kanariya" failed to included a booklet, which resulted in the cover sleeve being immolated as a picture disc, featuring an emphasised plastic sheet with information on the single.
  •  Done. I didn't change the numerals to worded numbers; I personally do that only above 10.

Reception

• commending → acclaiming
• link "R&B"
• However, when reviewing the CD single, the review stated → When reviewing the CD single, the website stated,
• a member at → a member of
• but criticised → but criticized
• labeled → labelled (the first one is American English)
• the single was a success in Japan → same as in the lead
• first week of sales → first week of availability
• It lasted → "Kanariya" lasted (word rep.)
• on the top 200 → within the top 200
• one of Hamasaki's → marking one of Hamasaki's
• lowest spanning → lowest-spanning
• but was her only limited single from Loveppears to reach atop → This can be left out, as it's overfluous.
• it debuted at number one → it opened atop (word rep.)
• Connect last two sentences from the first para with ", lasting..."
• in the top 100 → within the top 100
• it had sold → the recording had sold
• word repetition through "ranked" in second para
• However, in 1999, it ranked at number 84 on TBS' Annual Chart. → Include this info one sentence earlier, but not with "However,"
• the single was → the track was (word rep.)
• her 29th highest selling → the singer's 29th highest-selling
• data base → database
  •  Done.

Music video and promotion

• Jonathan Peters → Peters (never write full names twice)
• The video features → The visual portrays (word rep.)
• laboratory, surrounded with → laboratory, being surrounded by
• Throughout the song → Throughout the music video
• I decided to edit the rest of the issues with the music video para by myself
• promoted on → promoted through
• conducted → released
• It has been → It has additionally been
• Word repetition through "Hamasaki"
• remove "that being"
• It was specially → "Kanariya" was specially (word rep.)
• remove "remix" from "remix extended play"
  •  Done.

Personnel

• Rename section into "Credits and personnel"
• the CD liner notes of "Kanariya"; → the liner notes of the single's physical release.
  •  Done.

Charts

• Remove "Weekly chart" and "Weekly" from the charts
  •  Done.

Release history

• Unlink labels and formats
  •  Done.

Outcome

I've put this  On hold for 7 days in order to allow edits to the article. Good luck and best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:30, 27 September 2016 (UTC)

 Done all adjustments. Thank you for the review, @Cartoon network freak:. CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 23:09, 27 September 2016 (UTC)

Passing! Cheers, Cartoon network freak (talk) 11:55, 28 September 2016 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.