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Talk:Joseph Massino/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Dana boomer (talk · contribs) 15:11, 22 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I'll be reviewing this article for GA status and should have the full review up within a couple of days. Dana boomer (talk) 15:11, 22 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
    • The lead should be expanded. Per WP:LEAD, three to four paragraphs is appropriate for an article of this length, but they should be longer paragraphs - more than the two or three sentences they are currently.
    • Throughout the article, there are a lot of short (one and two sentence) paragraphs. These make the article quite choppy to read, especially where there are several of these short paragraphs in a row. While short paragraphs can be used for emphasis, too many of them detracts from the visual and narrative appeal of the article.
    • A few instances of prose that are rather more suited to a tabloid than an encyclopedia. "Full-blown", "turning states" (in this case, give the full "states evidence"), etc.
    • Is it "Bonanno Family" or "Bonanno family"? Both are seen in Rise to power section. IMO, it would be the second.
    • States' evidence, state's evidence or states evidence? I see alll three...
    • Rise to power, "Massino delivered a request to the Commission" - link and/or explain what the commission is upon this first usage of the term. I see later that it is linked in the Three capos section - the link should be moved to the first occurrence and some explanation of the term should be made.
    • Fugitive, "to be the boss in all but name, even though Rastelli was still officially head of the family,[48] as well as heir apparent." This sentence is confusing to me - is it trying to say that Massino was heir apparent?
    • Fugitive, "Once inside, Attanasio then shot Bonventre twice in the head. After Bonventre staggered out of the car," The guy had two bullets in his head and was still able to walk?
    • 1986 conviction, "While Massino protested in private" - What is meant by "in private"?
    • 2004 conviction, "Vitale was already dissatisfied by the lack of support he and his family received after his arrest," - It should probably be made explicit that it was the lack of support from the mafia that he was unhappy with, not a lack of support from the FBI (which is what I first thought when I read this sentence).
    • 2004 conviction, "who decided to cooperate after an investigator for Massino's defense team tried to find out if he intended to flip." I'm a little confused by the implications of this sentence. He decided to flip and work for the prosecution after a conversation with the defense? Why?
    • In the 2004 conviction section it says that the Sciascia case was severed from the original indictment, but in the Turning state's evidence section it says "if found guilty of Sciascia's murder". How could he be found guilty if the case had been removed?
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
    • The sourcing looks really good. I made a couple of formatting tweaks, but reliability looks good and spotchecks found no problems with copyvio, close paraphrasing or verification.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  1. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
    Overall the article is quite good, and the sourcing is wonderful. I have made a few copyediting tweaks - feel free to revert if I have inadvertently changed any meanings. Once the above (fairly minor) issues with prose and images are dealt with, I expect to have no problems passing this article to GA status. Very nice work! Dana boomer (talk) 02:58, 24 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • Everything looks good now (thanks for the good work in response to my comments), so I'm passing the article to GA. As a final comment, the image licenses would be even better if full information was provided from the Five Families book (page number especially, but also isbn, date, publisher, etc.), but are adequate as is. Again, very good work, Dana boomer (talk) 11:53, 29 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
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