Talk:Joel Byrom/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:07, 8 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Overall this article is pretty good, though I have a few concerns.

I'm not as nitpicky on personal info additions as others, but there is none in this article at all. For a current player, surely we could find some?
"Byrom started his career at Blackburn Rovers' centre of excellence after being spotted" at the Blackburn... or perhaps 'with the Blackburn...
I'd link hat-trick; I'm pretty sure even non-sports people would know what that is, but I'm not one that can answer that.
"He made a scoring debut" his scoring debut
"Byrom played in the centre of midfield in Northwich's following match away to" away probably doesn't need to be in given the stadium added in later on.
"the best part of three months" better part, you mean? Or if you have a more exact timeframe that works too.
"In May 2009, Byrom signed for Stevenage for a fee of £15,000" with instead of for on first use. Also, so he had to pay to sign with the team? That doesn't sound right.
"Byrom was named in the England C team" to the England..

I'll put the article on hold and pass it when the issues are fixed. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:07, 8 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Firstly, thank you for taking the time out to review the article, much appreciated.

At the moment I don't have any information on Byrom's personal life, I'll dig for something providing I can reference it. If all else fails, I'll include a "Style of play" section to further bolster the article.

"Byrom started his career at Blackburn Rovers' centre of excellence after being spotted" -----> changed to "at the Blackburn Rovers centre of excellence"

Hat-trick has now been linked.

"He made a scoring debut" ------> changed to "He made his debut for Northwich in a 2–1 defeat against Aldershot Town at Victoria Stadium, scoring Northwich's goal".

"Byrom played in the centre of midfield in Northwich's following match away to" ------> removed 'away'.

"the best part of three months" -------> specific timescale added, ten weeks.

"In May 2009, Byrom signed for Stevenage for a fee of £15,000" --------> It is common in football to use this turn of phrase, it is something that is almost always done. But, I can understand where you're coming from, so I've changed it to "In May 2009, Stevenage signed Byrom for a fee of £15,000."

"Byrom was named in the England C team" to the England ----------> In this instance, "named to the England C team" wouldn't make sense, so I've changed it to "called up to the England C team".

Let me know if there's anything else. Thanks --SBFCEdit (talk) 04:40, 9 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good. A style of play addition would be nice in lieu of no personal info. I'll keep the article on hold until that's added. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 02:19, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Added the 'Style of play' section. --SBFCEdit (talk) 17:48, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Article now meets GA criteria, so passing it. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:56, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]