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Hey there! This will be my first GAN review (and my first major stuff) since a few months of hiatus, so this will be interesting. Am happy to review this as a cinephile and an IMAX fan, though I would like to see this one someday. Do note that this is examination week for me, so I might be a bit slow on reviewing. GeraldWL12:02, 27 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Gerald Waldo Luis Thanks a lot for picking this one up, I will let you know that this is my first films GAN so I may be confused about certain points during the review and it is fine you might be going at a slow pace. --K. Peake21:03, 27 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Apologies for that, I didn't get any notifications so it pretty much went past my radar. I will look through this for a couple of hours, and will confirm to you back. Again, sorry for the month long delay! GeraldWL10:51, 3 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
The alt text for the poster is kinda underwhelming. It should convey visually the image, to aid the visually impaired. In other words, what visual elements are in the poster that blind readers should know.
For the poster rationale, "Not replaceable with free media because" and "Respect for commercial opportunities" must be filled. Generally WP:FILM likes to just copy this.
The box office part doesn't need a ref, as it has already been covered in the "Box office" section.
"Featuring songs arranged by West in a gospel style"-- perhaps "Featuring gospel songs arranged by West" would be more direct?
"it served as a companion piece to the album"-- "it also served as a companion piece to the album"
"with the intention of bringing the Sunday Service Choir to life" just comes off as unencyclopedic. Judging by the Deadline title "Celebrating His Sunday Service", a more appropriate sentence would be "Intended as a tribute to the Sunday Service Choir, Jesus Is King was shot in the summer of 2019 in Roden Crater of Arizona's Painted Desert."
"screenings sold out 24 cities"-- "screenings sold out in 24 cities"
"The scenes of Jesus Is King"-- scenes of or scenes in?
"New Testament Book of Mark" can be easily trimmed to "Gospel of Mark" per the article's title.
"and the camera moves inside it" --> "and the camera zooms in it". "moves inside it" refers to a dolly shot, which is a filmmaking jargon for zooming in, and I think that by changing it we can establish a contrast from the previous shot, which is zooming out of the keyhole.
"The film concludes with a close-up shot of Kanye shirtless as he cradles his son Psalm West and sings "Use This Gospel" to him." To avoid inconsistency where Kanye is referred to as "West", I'd have this sentence also referring to Kanye as "West", then removing "West" in regards to Psalm's name. It's common practice in other articles.
"release of the concert film Jesus Is King to accompany the album of the same name" --> "release of a concert film of the same name to accompany the album and as a tribute to the Sunday Service Choir"
Partly done did not add the tribute part since in the body, it can be kept as a quote when attributed to the press release. --K. Peake11:53, 6 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Hmm Kyle Peake, I would agree with you in a general sense, but the problem is that the PR's quote is too encyclopedically vague and promotional. As I have stated earlier, "bringing them to life" will be taken literally by readers when reading encyclopedias, and so different people might have different interpretations on what it would mean. Even though there is only one meaning.
Altering it in the lead is not enough, since some readers may skip the lead and into the part they want to read on. Perhaps it's the production section, then they'll stumble upon that quote. In contrasts, flattering quotes like "presented in the immersive sound and stunning clarity of IMAX" are still acceptable, since they provide accurate information and do not potentially deceive readers. GeraldWL16:11, 7 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"and brings the Sunday Service Choir "to life in the Roden Crater, visionary artist James Turrell's never-before-seen installation in Arizona's Painted Desert"" --> "at Roden Crater, its core modified by artist James Turrell to feature a naked-eye observatory, located in Arizona's Painted Desert." You can use this as source for "its core modified by artist James Turrell to feature a naked-eye observatory".
"and music from Jesus Is King" --> "and music from the album". I suggest referring to the album as "the album" to avoid confusion with the similarly-titled film.
I've made a draft here that breaks paragraph 1 into two, dividing statements about the film and songs featured, so readers can navigate easier. Let me know what you think.
""extremely complex and extremely passionate about their lives", "extremely honest and sincere", and "often misunderstood""-- repetitive use of extremelys here. I'd suggest paraphrasing it: "intricate, spirited, kind, and oftentimes misrepresented"
"This is followed by footage of West in an editing room reciting the Mark quote and Turrell also makes an appearance in the trailer, speaking with the rapper." Perhaps a new sentence should be made for the Turrell statement?
"In June 2020, West tweeted an announcement of a digital release of the film on Apple Music." This should be inaccurate-- it's iTunes who distributes films, not Apple Music.
If you're gonna start the box office section with US$, should also put US$ in the lead and infobox for consistency.
"US locations New York" reads off unnaturally and kinda awkward. Suggest "US locations like New York"; also the same for the intl' part.
You frequently cite references multiple times here: ref 44 at sentence 1, then ref 44 at sentence 2, and so on. It's much cleaner if you just cite it once, as there's no need for you to do like the status quo.
Kyle Peake, Nope, this is not required. WP:WHYCITE did say "Sources are also required when quoting someone", but did not specify that one reference should be cited each time there's a sentence with a quote from there. Also a lot of FAs don't cite every single sentence. GeraldWL15:33, 20 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"the Roden Crater location, and the different set-ups" --> "the diverse production design"
"Ehlrich noted" --> "He noted"; since his name was just mentioned a sentence ago repeating it would be, well, repetitive. Same thing for the other critics' parts.
I find it interesting that Gilchrist and Ehlrich thinks the same way regarding the runtime; maybe there's a way we can combine them? I know GAs aren't scrutinized to follow WP:RECEPTION, but I just think it's interesting.
I think that part of my confusion lies with the sentence as a whole: "as well as highlighting the minimalism that creates "holy wows" and the mixture of "ancient spiritual signifiers" with "the earth tones and graphical shapes" of West's Adidas Yeezy line." There's too many unencyclopedic quotes and could use some paraphrasing. Also "line" could be changed to "clothing line".
Kyle Peake, so far the article seems up and ready for GA, with only two issues left. First, my point 3 in "Reception" isn't addressed fully, in that the mentions of the critics are still repetitive. It was only addressed for the Ehlrich part. And second, I'm still questioning some of the usage of many citations in a single claim. This is prevalent in the "Marketing" section, with a sentence as simple as a Biblical quote having up to four refs. I think that qualifies as an overkill in cites. If these issues are resolved, kindly ping me, and I'll pass this for GA :-) again I do apologize for the delay. GeraldWL16:03, 3 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
I have made a final set of copyedits; you can go look at the summaries in the edit history. Otherwise, I think it's all good to go! Promoting~ GeraldWL15:45, 4 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.