Talk:Jahaad Proctor/GA1
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 17:23, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
Taking this review for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive. MWright96 (talk) 17:23, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Early life and high school career
[edit]- "but he could shoot and score." - how come?
- Natural ability? Effort in practice? What do you want me to say? ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- Whichever is more accurate MWright96 (talk) 06:01, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
- I don't know what to do here. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 15:17, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
- I think effort in practice will suffice. MWright96 (talk) 15:35, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
- The ref states, "But he could score, a trait his father traces back to abundant hours hanging around those high school practices." I added a bit about his practice. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 18:10, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
- I think effort in practice will suffice. MWright96 (talk) 15:35, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
- I don't know what to do here. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 15:17, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
- Whichever is more accurate MWright96 (talk) 06:01, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
- Natural ability? Effort in practice? What do you want me to say? ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- "Proctor stood 5'10." - the convert template is needed for use on the text in bold
- Done ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- "and grew to 6'3." - same issue as above
- Done. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- "He became the first player in school history to earn three All-State selections, and the third to earn first team honors," - repetition of the word "earn"
- Changed to "receive". ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- "He committed to" - He committed to playing college basketball for
- OK. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
College career
[edit]- "He averaged 5.1 points, 2.0 rebounds and 1.1 assists per game as a freshman at Iona." - word-to-word copy of the SB Nation source verifying this text. Please reword accordingly
- Changed to "As a freshman, he averaged 5.1 points, 2.0 rebounds and 1.1 assists per game." ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
* "helping Iona win the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference tournament and reach the NCAA Tournament." - repetition of the word "tournament"
- I don't see the problem, they are two different tournaments. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- "and reach the NCAA Tournament." - and qualify for the
- Done. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- "On December 18, 2018," - The ESPN source states the game took place on December 17, 2018
- Good catch. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- "because he discovered a rehab technique." - rehabilition
- Done. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- "and other athletes his field of study." - in his
- OK. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- "Proctor helped to fill the void of departing" - more formal; replace the
- Reworded. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- "The season was cancelled prior to the Big Ten Tournament," - mention the season was cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic as stated in The Patriot-News
- Done, good to be specific. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
Personal life
[edit]- "His father is a math teacher at William Penn Senior High School in York, Pennsylvania and baggage handler for Delta Air Lines at Harrisburg International Airport." - and a baggage handler
- Done. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
References
[edit]- Reference 5's publication date is December 2, 2015 not December 1, 2015
- No it's not, see [1]. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- Struck. Mixed-up the dates MWright96 (talk) 06:01, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
- No it's not, see [1]. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
* Reference 7's publication date is January 7, 2018 not January 6, 2018
- No, see [2]
- Struck. Dates were mixed up MWright96 (talk) 06:01, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
- No, see [2]
- The title of Reference 14 should not be all in capital letters per MOS:ALLCAPS
- Changed to lowercase. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- Reference 16 is missing the author
- Added the author. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
Am placing the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 18:25, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- I have replied to all your concerns. Some I don't know what to do with, while others - the references - appear to be incorrect. Not sure where you got the publication date, maybe another printing of the AP stories? ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 20:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- @Editorofthewiki: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 19:04, 2 October 2020 (UTC)