Talk:Jacob Ezekiel/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: From Hill To Shore (talk · contribs) 17:11, 27 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I will be starting the review now. From Hill To Shore (talk) 17:11, 27 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it well written?
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
Clarity: The second sentence uses the phrase, "after the war" but there were many wars in his life time. Is it refering to the War of 1812, the Mexican–American War, the American Civil War or one of several other conflicts involving the United States? √ Done deisenbe (talk) 00:56, 12 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Clarity: The third sentence makes the claim that he was a member of the "the first national Jewish organization." I am assuming it means the "first national Jewish organization in the United States of America." As I have found two unclear USA-centric statements in the first paragraph, it would be useful for editors to re-read the article and consider what it would look like to someone from outside of the United States. √ Done deisenbe (talk) 00:56, 12 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Clarity: The second paragraph includes the text, "to Philadelphia, where Jacob was born, two years before his birth." This could be read as "he was born two years before he was born." I would suggest as an alternative, "to Philadelphia two years before Jacob was born there." √ Done deisenbe (talk) 00:56, 12 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Clarity: The second paragraph includes the phrase, "who had him boarded." Does this mean giving him room and board, sending him to boarding school or was some other activity involved? √ Done deisenbe (talk) 00:56, 12 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Prose: Why is "management" of annual balls "in aid of a Hebrew school fund" in quotation marks? If it is a factual statement supported by sources then remove the quotes. Currently the quotes on such a simple statement imply that he was doing something other than management. √ Done deisenbe (talk) 00:56, 12 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Prose: There are a lot of other short quotes throughout the article. If they are actual quotations then you will need to atribute them to their authors. If they are simple statements of fact, rephrase them in your own words and remove the quotes.

Prose: "Workum was 'a liberal donor' to the Hebrew Union College (see below)," - the use of "see below" is not advised for Wikipedia articles. Text can be moved around or deleted so easily that it can quickly become meaningless. Looking through the article I can see no follow up details on Workum and the College and if there were, I'd advise moving them to the college article. This page has to maintain focus on Jacob. √ Done deisenbe (talk) 00:56, 12 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
Lead: The article has no lead section. Most of the content at the top of the page should be put under a heading like "early life" or something similar. The lead should then be written as a summary of the whole article. Take a look at other Good Article biographies (such as Pythagoras for ideas on how to structure the article.

Layout: The lead and article content need to be separated.

Words to watch: The fourth sentence begins, "He was described as" - who described him or in what situation was he described as these things?
Is it verifiable with no original research?
A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
A long list of references is provided, which use standard citation templates.

B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
As noted elsewhere in this review, there are a number of quotations that aren't atributed. If the quotations are kept they should be atributed and directly supported by a reliable citation.

I haven't carried out a full review of sources as many of them relate to information that should probably be removed from this article.

C. It contains no original research:
I have marked some claims that are unsourced but they don't relate directly to Jacob. They could be removed or rephrased with minimal impact on the biography.

D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
I have not made a thorough check of copyright or plagiarism as many of the sources are used to support background information that is not the focus of the article. A new review of sources would be useful when the article is cleaned up.
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
It is hard to judge the broadness of the article as Jacob is buried under a large amount of side information.

B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
The article is meant to be a biography about Jacob but more often strays into the lives of others or into background information on places or businesses where he was residing. Some background information is useful but it feels like the balance is too skewed here and Jacob has become lost.
Is it neutral?
It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
The topic seems to treat Jacob in a positive light throughout. I have no knowledge to cast doubt on that but it is rare for any biography. Everyone makes mistakes and it is normal for some of those mistakes to be significant enough to be noted in a biography. The balance of neutrality may be easier to judge once the additional information is stripped away.
Is it stable?
It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
There is no evidence of edit wars in page history and the page log shows no periods of protection.
Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
The article contains no images. While there may be no images of the person, there should be images related to locations or activities mentioned in the article. For example, where the Washington Monument is mentioned, you could include an image from Commons:Washington Monument

B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
The article includes no images.
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
Unfortunately this article has too many issues to reach Good Article status at this time. As a biographical article, it needs to focus on the topic of the individual, who often gets lost amid the scene setting. Some background to the situation is useful to the reader but when the background becomes more detailed than the person, you lose the purpose of the biography. I would suggest that you ask for some advice from Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography on how to reformat this article. From Hill To Shore (talk) 19:40, 27 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

General comments

While not a part of the assessment, I found the frequent use of citation templates in vertical format to be difficult to read in the source data. I'd advise collapsing the citations into horizontal format.
{{rp}} has been used for some citations. It is an uncommon template that appears to direct readers to muliple places within the same citation. However on this article it is used to direct readers to pages 161, 162 or 163 of the American Jewish Historical Society source. Because it is a single cluster of pages, I'd advise updating the citation to refer to this small page range and drop the rp template from that source. I haven't checked the other uses of rp in the article.
The article contains a lot of irrelevent material. While the background to Jewish life in Cincinnati is interesting, almost all of it should be removed from a biographical article about Jacob. You may want to move some of the information to an article about the city. From Hill To Shore (talk) 19:40, 27 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]