Talk:It's Grim Up North/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MarioSoulTruthFan (talk · contribs) 15:06, 6 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

Recorded → Trancentral (unsourced)
Needs alt

Lead

It's Grim Up North" is a song by The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu (The JAMs). The song was originally released as a limited edition "Club Mix" in December 1990 with Pete Wylie on vocals. → It's Grim Up North" is a song by The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu (The JAMs), originally made available as a limited edition "Club Mix" in December 1990 with Pete Wylie on vocals.
These recordings were the first releases by Drummond and his creative partner Jimmy Cauty under the JAMs moniker since the 1988 compilation album Shag Times, and the last under that name; → "These recordings were the first releases by Drummond and Jimmy Cauty, under the JAMs moniker, since the 1988 compilation album Shag Times, and the last under that name."
No. 10 → number 10
The lyrics to → The lyrics of
The video for "It's Grim Up North" was filmed in black and white, and shows The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu performing in the pouring rain. → no music video section of the article
"It's Grim Up North" was planned to be a prominent track on the JAM's album The Black Room, but the album was never completed. → merge with the latter pararaph

Background

artist/musician Jimmy Cauty → use only one
Music-industry figure Bill Drummond → his wiki states "artist, musician, writer, and record producer", the source claims he was a manager
In 1988 they had their first UK number one hit single - Doctorin' the Tardis - as The Timelords,[2][3] after which they transitioned into The KLF → this is fine, but you need to go more in depth why these various changes of name? Are always the same artists involved?
by the KLF which would → by the KLF. It would

Theme

This section can't exist
First paragraph move it to the background
"A recurring theme of "It's Grim Up North" was drab greyness, representing the dreary, overcast skies of the "grim" North." → compostion
The original issue featuring Pete Wylie was on grey vinyl,[4][11] and the same colour was retained for the sleeve of the 1991 release (pictured above)." → background
"The video for "It's Grim Up North" was filmed in black and white, and shows The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu performing in the pouring rain. King Boy D (Drummond) voices the words into the microphone of a backpack field radio worn by a woman at his side wearing military uniform and a tin hat labelled "KLF". Rockman Rock (Cauty) is shown playing bass guitar. Cars and trucks rush by, leaving a trail of spray because evidently The JAMs are performing on one lane of a road; they are lit by the headlights of several nearby stationary vehicles. As the performance draws to a close, and the strains of Jerusalem can be heard, the slogan "The North will rise again" appears on screen." → new section called musiv video, move it along with the picture of the video, you took this decribtion from the sleeve notes?
The sleevenotes further elaborated on The JAMs' inspiration: "Through the downpour and diesel roar, Rockman and Kingboy D can feel a regular dull thud. Whether this is the eternal echo of a Victorian steam driven revolution or the turbo kick of a distant Northern rave is irrelevant. Thus inspired, The JAMS climb into the back of their truck and work. → composotion

Composition

Audio sample needs to be reduced and comply with WP:SAMPLE, since it is the radio edit.
So two entire pagraphs are based on a CD single? Provide reliable sources on this.

Release

You have one unreliable source that needs to be replaced as it is unreliable

Critical reception

Merge the secondand third paragraph into the first
Mention Richie Blackmore
Mention Dorian Lynskey
The Guardian said that → The Guardian affirmed that
The last paragraph do in the cronological order
Top 100 Songs Of All Time → mention the writer in the 2005 edition

Locations

What is this? Choose a couple of these locations with a source and try to talk more about each one of them, why are they mentioned, why are they important?
A quarter of this should be in the compostion section since its part of the lyrics.

Formats and track listings

The KFL site is a blog by a fan, that can't be included, so replace date and find reliable sources.
What are these formats and tracklistings? Take a look at the article I put below. Do something like that, add the dates of release in the title

Personnel (1991 commercial release)

Change the title to Personnel
This is not how you present the Personnel; take a look here
Use {{spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between credits and personnel.

References

Source number 3 needs accessdate
Source number 4 is not reliable, needs to go.
What is "passi." on reference 12? Part of the publisher
Don't SHOUT on the title's of the sources

Overall

There is a copyright violation
You need a chart section saying it peaked at number 10 and add said peak in the reception section, needs to be retitled from "critical reception" → reception
This is probably the worst shape article I ever reviewed in my life. Nevertheless, I'm willing to give you a chance to improve it. Let me know once you are done. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:57, 7 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan: Thanks for the review. I'll address a few of the issues you raised (those I disagree with or seek clarification on) and then we can wrap this up:

Theme section: "This section can't exist". Why not?

"The sleevenotes further elaborated on The JAMs' inspiration: "Through the downpour and diesel roar, Rockman and Kingboy D can feel a regular dull thud. Whether this is the eternal echo of a Victorian steam driven revolution or the turbo kick of a distant Northern rave is irrelevant. Thus inspired, The JAMS climb into the back of their truck and work. → composotion" (emphasis added). The theme of the song is also mirrored in the colour of the original vinyl release (grey) and in the the video (black and white, pouring rain, the "grim" north). I note your point about having a Music Video section instead but why can't this be covered in a Theme section instead? (Is there a policy or widely followed guideline?)

Hopefully this will help, see the FA articles below, they will give you a better idea of the guidelines. [1]. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:16, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Like a Rolling Stone has a "Themes" section; Monkey Gone to Heaven has an unusual structure; Mothers of the Disappeared and others have a "Composition and theme" section [I gave up at "M"]. I will, however, consider merging the Themes section into Composition and Music Video if I can deal with the other issues. --kingboyk (talk) 16:31, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"artist/musician Jimmy Cauty → use only one" - Why? He was a teenage artist (with some commercial success) who became a musician and is now an artist again.

At this point of career, when this was released he was what? Many singers do other stuff (actor, dancers) they don't have their songs articles with everything of the sort. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:16, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Music-industry figure Bill Drummond → his wiki states "artist, musician, writer, and record producer", the source claims he was a manager" - We should use only one vocation for Cauty and but not Drummond? Drummond only became notable as an artist and writer after the KLF; I considered "musician and record producer" to be within the scope of "Music-industry figure" broadly construed but, sure, we can expand on that if necessary. Or is your point simply about the provided source only backing up the assertion that he was a manager? If it's the latter, yes, ~~can surely fix~~ have fixed:

My point was, pic a line, once more who was him (what he was doing) at this point in his career or what he is known best for. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:16, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I've added 2 references for the guys' pre-JAMs/KLF careers; the second addition from The Guardian is a particularly good summary which makes it clear that the pre-KLF/JAMs Drummond was a music industry figure with his finger in many pies, and that Cauty was an artist (who, the writer says, made a "fortune" with his posters) and a musician

There you go (music-industry and artist). MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:16, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Difficult one for Cauty. His poster was very well known at the time, so he was an artist, but I doubt many people would have known the name of the artist; he was also a professional musician by the time he met Drummond (and that is indeed how they met; Drummond as an A&R manager and Cauty a member of one of the bands on the label Drummond worked for). His most recent project before the JAMs/KLF was music. If we have to settle for one occupation at the time he met Drummond, I suppose it would have to be musician but it's a judgement call which is why prefer musician/artist.--kingboyk (talk) 16:31, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

passim is used in books and academic papers to mean that the source is used liberally in the paragraph. However, it's use never caught on in Wikipedia so I'll get rid of that. Thanks for spotting it. [done]
The KLF Discography is indeed hosted by a fan site (a site which I would not otherwise reference), but the discography was compiled by a KLF expert starting in 1998 and updated along the way. It's been extant for over 20 years and I've never seen its reliability questioned before. That said, it looks like it's on shaky ground per WP:RSSELF unless the author has (separately) been published by reliable, independent publications [plural; a quick search suggests he hasn't but I will dig deeper when I have time]. I can probably in time find alternate sources for most of the information and possibly all of it; if I could achieve the latter then of course the issue becomes moot. Record Collector magazine (indisputably reliable) published a comprehensive discography and biography of the KLF/JAMs but alas that was in 1991 prior to the commercial release of the single, so doesn't help other than with regards to the original Club Mix. I have on my bookshelf a "Rare Record Guide" from the same publisher which can possibly replace Lazlo's discography in places; there's also a relatively recently published book by a contributor to that magazine, published by a reputable publisher, called Turn Up the Strobe: The KLF, the JAMS, the Timelords - a History to look into; that's on top of old music mags and online sources.

The site states in its about us page "What you can find on this website is a collection of facts and half-truths, lies and myths" . Books, published magazines would be fine as long as they are reliable.MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:16, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

We don't need to worry too much about the silly message at klf.de as the discography was originally self-published on the author's own website and I believe the author may still host an older copy and/or I can retrieve it from archive.org, if I am able to establish that he meets WP:RSSELF (looking doubtful but can try). Otherwise, yep, I'll have to find other sources; not a problem for most of the citations but could be difficult for others, largely because this song and single is pre-web. --kingboyk (talk) 16:31, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"This is not how you present the Personnel; take a look here" - Link to policy please. The presentation here is broadly in line with the presentation of the Personnel section at Something_(Beatles_song)#Personnel which is a Featured Article. The layout at Rehab_(Rihanna_song)#Credits_and_personnel doesn't work here (i.e. information would be lost), because Cauty and Drummond were credited as the KLF ("production") and as the JAMs ("performance").

First I didn't said "copy" second it doesn't look nothing like the page you provided. There is no space and dash, the source cication doesn't look the one in that page. and the credits don't as well. Sure here the policy is fro mthe same page above, you can go in more dpeth herethe album article style guide. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:16, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Change the title to Personnel" (from "Personnel (1991 commercial release)"). No, because the personnel on the 1990 Club Mix were different (notably the vocalist), and it was a white label only release of which only a few hundred promo copies were pressed (technically grey label). That release is not the main focus of this article for obvious reasons, and as a white label it has no credits. The section is accurately named.

Still it is not the title, state it on the source. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:16, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"In 1988 they had their first UK number one hit single - Doctorin' the Tardis - as The Timelords,[2][3] after which they transitioned into The KLF → this is fine, but you need to go more in depth why these various changes of name? Are always the same artists involved?" I don't see why the first would be relevant or necessary in an article about a single, and can just as easily see another reviewer complain about excessive detail (the short story is, The Timelords name was used to release an embarrassingly - by their own admission - lowest-common-denominator single, and the KLF name marked their transition into dance music; "Why?" is a question the KLF rarely answered, but some sources do touch on the name changes). As for the second point, they transitioned into the KLF and they had their first number one hit as the Timelords seems pretty clear to me that's it the same people operating under different names (and the KLF and the JAMs are identified as Cauty and Drummond in the Personnel section) but, sure, that can be made clearer if need be. The KLF produced this JAMs record, if I recall correctly the JAMs produced a KLF record, and the duo returned in 2017 as the JAMs and released a novel; the Guardian article cited above summarises the situation concisely by calling these names "alter egos" :). I could flesh this info out a bit using references from The KLF and/or the Higgs book mentioned below, but I'm not yet fully convinced it is necessary... Again, if you look at the background section of Something_(Beatles_song) there's no information whatsoever on who the Beatles were or how George Harrison came to be a member, and Paul McCartney is mentioned without introduction.
List of locations: "What is this? Choose a couple of these locations with a source and try to talk more about each one of them, why are they mentioned, why are they important?". It's a list of all the locations mentioned in the song. None is more than important than another; they're all places in the North of England and that's it. The song hasn't been dissected by Dylanologists who pontificate on the significance of the inclusion of Chester and the exclusion of Liverpool (The KLF: Chaos, Magic and the Band who Burned a Million Pounds by John Higgs goes into great detail about the JAMs name and themes but mentions the song only in passing; maybe Turn Up the Strobe, which I have yet to acquire, will cover it).

Just say they change their name because of embarresmnt and transition to the dance music. I don't know what others said to you, I'm not them and that's not excessive detail. Various people, including mysef, are not familiar with the KFL. Make it clearer that's what I meant. Too help you out, think like this "I kow zero about this subject, what information would be, and this is a key word relevant to get gain some knowledge". Everyone knows who the beattles are, to cite someone "The Beatles were bigger than Jesus" - John Lennon of the Beatles, on top of that is a brief summary. I don't kow, just say they mentioned variuous cities from North of England and the reason behind it. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:16, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"This is probably the worst shape article I ever reviewed in my life". Glad you liked it! ;) Seriously though, I do appreciate your time and effort in reviewing it; your time has not been wasted as I've learnt that fixing the complaints from an ancient GA delisting is not enough to secure GA nowadays, and you've given me some helpful pointers on areas which need work.

I didn't, not in this shape. The delisting just pointed out some stuff, it's a delisting not a review. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:16, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Probably needless to say, but there is too much to attend to in the time available, and I therefore withdraw the nomination and you can mark it as failed. Answers to any questions posed would be helpful, if you have time. --kingboyk (talk) 13:43, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I do have the time, and I'm willing to wait. Nevertheles, if you don't want to adress the issues I can fail it, just think about it twice and let me know. I only put it on hold for one simple reason, if you don't learn now how to do, when you will? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:16, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan: OK, thanks; the replies are helpful and it looks a little less daunting now I understand better your concerns. Let me have a look at this again (your review and the replies) at the weekend, time permitting, and see if it is salvageable within the time frame and whether or not I am comfortable to make all the changes you ask for. The difficult part will be replacing citations which rely only on the KLF Discography. No doubt the material is out there but I'm not sure if I have it all in my possession. My initial response was not a case of unwillingness to learn or take on feedback; besides not agreeing with all of the objections it was simply a matter of whether I could get this done in time (or at all) as the list of objections was quite lengthy (I'm still real-world working despite the current crisis, as I work from home). So, let's you do as you suggest and leave it on hold and I'll give you a ping if I have a new version for you to look at. I really might struggle with a reference for "Formats and track listings" if I can't use Lazlo's discography but I'll see what I can do. Thanks again for your time. --kingboyk (talk) 16:31, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Kingboyk: You welcome. Ok, I will wait for the weeknd to know if you can or can't address the issues. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:31, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Kingboyk: Any news regarding this article? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:32, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Kingboyk: Tell me yif you are able to address the issues, I will give an extra seven days for some news regarding this. If I don't get a response I will fail it. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:40, 29 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]