Talk:I'm Not Your Hero/GA1
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Reviewer: Esprit15d (talk · contribs) 13:54, 12 November 2014 (UTC)
I want to commend the involved editors for their thorough work on the article. A quick overview makes it clear that a lot of conscientious effort has gone into the creation and editing of it. These are my comments:
- The lead is strong.
- Good
- The use of the word "harsh" drums in the lead is not substantiated in the body, and so isn't neutral, and should be removed. I thought this may be a musical term I was unfamiliar with, but a quick google search didn't yield any significant results.
- The first sentence in the second lead paragraph could be more concisely written as "Reviews were mostly positive upon release, with critics praising the songwriting and composition that is comparable to the works of Santigold, Fleetwood Mac and The Temper Trap."\
- Since the "Background" section is so small and not unique to other information in the article, combine it with the following section ("Production and composition") and rename it "Background and composition"
- These sentences are not related to the topic and should be removed: "On October 23, 2009, Tegan and Sara released their sixth studio album, titled Sainthood.[1] The album was well received by critics,[2] and peaked at number four on the Canadian Albums Chart.[3] It also earned nominations for a Juno Award and the Polaris Prize.[4]"
- Try to avoid passive voice unnecessarily, as it is less clear. Also, there is some redundancy there. Change the next two sentences to: "In November 2011, Tegan and Sara revealed that they were writing new material for their seventh studio album, with Tegan saying, "We're really looking forward to making a new record now. Our hope is to be in the studio by early 2012."[5]
- The latter done. Also, for the former do you mean use active voice more? 和DITOREtails 02:28, 14 November 2014 (UTC)
- Yes, generally, but I didn't have any example in mind. It was just a casual reminder.--Esprit15d • talk • contribs 14:14, 14 November 2014 (UTC)
- The latter done. Also, for the former do you mean use active voice more? 和DITOREtails 02:28, 14 November 2014 (UTC)
- The first sentence under "Release and reception" is a little convoluted. I would re-write it as: "Their seventh studio album, Heartthrob, came out on January 29, 2013, and "I'm Not Your Hero" was released on October 21, 2012 as a promotional single for worldwide streaming.[19]" Make the sure the album release date has a citation.
- Consider removing the sentence: "The track is listed as the fourth on the album.[8]" It's not a significant fact and kind of clutters up the paragraph.
- If the song was released anywhere else other than the US and UK, you might consider consider including those dates as well in that paragraph.
- Couldn't find any other dates. 和DITOREtails 21:54, 12 November 2014 (UTC)
- The references all really look fantastic, especially the archiving for dead links. Really superb job there. The sites referenced all look notable/reputable. I somewhat question the one from PopBreak, but it's among other reviews, so...
- The external links all check out!
- Rename the "Personnel section" to "Credits" since it also includes the location information.
- The concert image is fine, but the license on the album art is incorrect and could potentially be deleted. The correct fair use license for cover art needs to be placed there.
- Done. Also, Discussion regarding this is held here. 和DITOREtails 21:54, 12 November 2014 (UTC)
- Have you considered adding a clip of the song to the article? As the song is 3:51, the clip would not be able to exceed 23 seconds. I think it would nicely illustrate some of the commentary in the article, but is not necessary, and I won't fail it on that.
Great work thus far, and I look forward to seeing the changes. Let me know if you need any clarification.--Esprit15d • talk • contribs 15:42, 12 November 2014 (UTC)
- All the changes look good. You didn't address or change the passive voice comment. Any comments? I also noticed that you have "indie pop" listed in the infobox as a genre. Have a reference for that?--Esprit15d • talk • contribs 13:53, 13 November 2014 (UTC)
- The article looks solid. I'm going to promote it!--Esprit15d • talk • contribs 14:17, 14 November 2014 (UTC)