Talk:Hurricane Fay/GA1
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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 17:29, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
- Great job with the lede! It might be perhaps a bit jargony, but nothing too bad IMO. The only thing I would add is that when you mention Gonzalo, you should say "which struck the island X days later."
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 04:09, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "A small vorticity" - I know what it means, but since it is the beginning of the MH, why not just a "small circulation"?
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 04:09, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- Link upper-level low
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 04:09, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "extended to north and west of the low" - either add "the" after "to", or get rid of "to"
- Went with the former--12george1 (talk) 04:09, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "By early on October 12, the system was upgraded to a Category 1 hurricane." - that kinda comes out of nowhere. You spend several sentences saying that conditions weren't favorable. You should say right here why it was upgraded (I'm guessing Recon obs?)
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 04:09, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "The storm attained its peak intensity with maximum sustained winds of 80 mph (130 km/h)" - you already said it had an 80 mph peak. Why mention it twice? And what was the basis for the peak intensity? Land obs or recon?
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 04:09, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
Otherwise, the article is a great read. Good work to everyone involved! I'll be happy to pass when these issues are addressed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:29, 20 January 2015 (UTC)