Talk:Hated in the Nation/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 16:22, 1 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

" series three. It is the longest episode in the series at 89 minutes" isn't it the longest episode in all of Black Mirror? Potential confusion over the (perhaps) dual-use of "series" here? Should we defer to Netflix and call them seasons?
- I'd rather stick with British English i.e. "series" but yes, this is bad phrasing so I've changed it to "longest episode of Black Mirror, at 89 minutes". — Bilorv (talk) 16:27, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Not necessary to link common geographical locations like London.
"receiving hate over" odd turn of phrase for me.
- Now "receiving hate mail after writing".
DCI, T/DC and DS are used in the infobox without definition anywhere.
- Removed rather than linked/explained because I think Wikipedia doesn't use honorifics that often and the characters in question are usually referred to (in and out of universe) without their credentials (MOS:DOCTOR). — Bilorv (talk) 16:27, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
" writing a derisive column about" wasn't it more that the column derided the individual rather than the column itself being derisory?
- "writing a column that derided" any better? — Bilorv (talk) 16:27, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"Powers' husband" hospitalised husband?
"as a metal object is pulled out of his brain" I think this makes sense but I think it would be clearer to say something like the MRI magnetic field pulled the object out through his skull?
- Trying to be as concise as possible—is "dies in an MRI machine as its magnetic field pulls an object out through his skull" an improvement? — Bilorv (talk) 16:27, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"an artificial substitute bee" I don't think substitute is required.
There are at least two scenes where Blue is looked at strangely by her colleagues, having either more knowledge than they expected or access to things she shouldn't. Is this something (in addition to a point I'll come on to re: the ending) that needs to be covered at all?
"Raiding this" -> "A raid on this"
Now the latter point: I think it's important that it is heavily implied that Karin is covering for Blue in court. Blue was something special....
- Okay, I've changed the last sentence to "However, she receives a text from Blue, who has tracked Scholes down in an unnamed country." Now I see the drawbacks of this in that you could read it as her later discovering that Blue is alive rather than knowing during court. However, I think that is a feasible interpretation. Perhaps oddly, I don't recall any critics mentioning anything much about Karin covering for Blue or the significance of those other Blue scenes. I have always seen Blue's access to something the NCA guy didn't like as a disconnect somewhere in bureaucracy where the department was given more permissions than set out in the rules, and the other things as just Blue's cyber knowledge. I think there's already so many things I would want to fit in the plot with a higher word limit that there isn't really room for any reference to these scenes. — Bilorv (talk) 16:27, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"As Black Mirror is an anthology series, each instalment is standalone.[6]" a minor point, but upon reflection, given the vast array of easter eggs throughout, would it be better to say "the storyline of each instalment is standalone"?
- I think "storyline" would actually make it less precise, because whether Blue's dialogue about Rannoch means that the storylines are connected is up for dispute. But I thought a bit about what the point of this sentence is and came up with: "each instalment can be watched in any order". I'm really just trying to say that it's not like serialised fiction, or American Horror Story, where seasons are complete storylines, or the Three Colours trilogy, where standalone storylines later become interconnected etc. — Bilorv (talk) 16:27, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"John Hinckley Jr " normally a full stop after the Jr
" near-future London and the filming in London encompassed " no need to link and too quick to repeat.
- Now "a near-future story set and filmed in London, the production encompassing 32 locations and taking place over 23 days" — Bilorv (talk) 16:27, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"one of the Canary Islands," I think this is unncessary.
Might be worth linking Luddite.
- I've given a Wiktionary link because I think a reader would get an incorrectly literal interpretation by reading the WP article (meaning here is "opposes technological change like the Luddites did"). — Bilorv (talk) 16:27, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

A lot of "?" comments which really means I'm open either way, just felt they should be discussed. A nice read, good to re-visit this episode for the third time, thanks. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 14:04, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed or responded to them all, lots of useful points. On my rewatch I found the episode quite strong, but I'm not too much of a fan of film pacing so it's longer than ideal for me. — Bilorv (talk) 16:27, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'm happy with the changes and the responses above, so I'm promoting to GA. And looking forward to a White Christmas (which, incidentally, I did have, albeit for ten minutes!). Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 17:13, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]