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GA Review

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Reviewer: Esculenta (talk · contribs) 17:32, 7 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Hi, I'm a fan of well-written biographies of biologists, so I'm happy to take on this review. I'll have comments up within a few days. Esculenta (talk) 17:32, 7 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Ok here's some thoughts and suggestions following an initial read. I'll check references on my next reading. Esculenta (talk) 13:38, 12 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

lead

  • what is a "scientific administrator"? Is this a university-associated position?
I guess so? It's given as one of his occupations on Te Ara [1], I assume this was when he was overseeing the Botany Division?
OK, but I still don't really know what this means. It doesn't help that the word "administrator" is not used again in the article. Esculenta (talk) 16:53, 17 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
rmved
  • what were the introductory handbooks about
NZ plants; done
  • why is flora italicized?
fixed and fixed links
  • his birthday is given twice
removed
  • agricultural shouldn’t need capitalization
done
  • Dsc->DSc
done
  • links: Linnean society, New Zealand Institute, systematic botanist, introduced, endemic
done

the rest

  • who is J. E. Holloway?
I thought they were maybe a cricketer, but I guess they are non-notable, rmved
  • should be consistent with the punctuation of B.A., MA, DSc
done
  • link South Island, Auckland, Napier
done
  • "potato variates" varieties?
wdym?
A variety is a botanical term, while a variate appears to be used more in mathematical contexts. Esculenta (talk) 16:53, 17 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
fixed typo
  • "preparatory" leads to a wikt link ... is there not an appropriate wiki-link for this?
I've moved it to Preparatory school (United Kingdom), since the systems were probably the same at the time
  • a source is needed for this statement "In 1913 Allan published his first article in an academic journal" that is not Allan’s actual article
yes it is? [2] Or is it because it can't be said that that was necessarily his first article?
The latter. Unless Allan stated in this article that it was his first published article, one can't look at a list of his publications and say in Wikipedia voice that it was his first. Esculenta (talk) 16:53, 17 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
rmved that it was his first
  • why is Master of Arts spelled out in full here but “MA” in the lead?
changed to MA
  • is there a link for master? is this headmaster?
It's a formal word for male teacher, so I've linked it to Teacher.
  • "at the request of the Ministry of Education for more practical subjects to be taught, took a course on agriculture" I’m confused – did he take a course or teach a course? Sentence says the former but following text suggests the latter.
what's the difference between the two?
The difference is between taking a course (i.e. one is a student) and giving a course (one is a teacher). Esculenta (talk) 16:53, 17 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
done (gave)
  • "Through him he met his father, the botanist Leonard Cockayne, who often asked for weed specimens and helped him gain admission into the Linnean Society in 1917." this sentence combines two vastly different ideas … is there any more background story on how/why Cockayne Sr. helped with with admission into the prestigious society?
Sort of, but it's unclear. Here is the passage I took the info from:

/*/ In 1916 Allan left Waitaki to become the agriculture master at Ashburton High School, and to assume responsibility for the experimental farm being established there in association with the department. But contacts with the notable botanist Leonard Cockayne (A. H. Cockayne’s father) had turned Allan’s interest more towards botany than agriculture, even though it was mainly a spare-time pursuit which seemed to offer fewer prospects. There were some rewards: Cockayne supported his election as a fellow of the Linnean Society of London in November that year and encouraged him in his lengthy botanical study of Mt Peel in Canterbury. When he submitted this as his doctoral thesis he acknowledged his debt to Cockayne, describing him as ‘my friend and master’. /*/

  • "Allan also took charge over recording" -> charge of
done
  • link flora at 1st occurrence in text
done, I think?
  • the use of braces around ellipses (i.e., [...]) has a specific meaning according to WP:ELLIPSES; can you verify that it is used correctly here?
Yes, I removed most of Cockayne's titles from the quote.
  • "(1928–48)" per MOS:DATERANGE, non-abbreviated years are generally preferred
done
  • "many aspects effecting New Zealand agriculture" -> affecting
fixed
  • economic botany could be linked; does it really need quotes?
linked and rmv quotes
  • Linnaean Society->Linnean Society; Fellowship needn't be capitalised
done
  • "Spartina townsendii" according to the article this links to, the correct notation for this hybrid is Spartina × townsendii
done
  • "Grasslands Division," the punctuation should be outside the quote. I bring this up this minor point because I think all of the quotes should be checked to see if they conform with MOS:LQUOTE
checked and changed
  • "His work to create a robust botany division gave way to many important institutions and pieces of research." gave way -> led the way?; “pieces of research” sounds slightly awkward
replaces gave way, pieces of research is a phrase with some use [3]
  • common names Fox gloves and Seaweeds should not be capitalised
done
handbooks, changed.
  • where does the quote "standard work on the subject;" come from?
from here [4], it was frustrating that I couldn't find many quotes on it from the present day so I took what I could.
  • "In 1938 Allan was made a coressponding member of the Swedish Phytogeographical Society, for his work in the discipline and earlier assistance given to the society's president; when he visited New Zealand in 1927." typo, & fragment following semicolon
semi-colon rmved
  • "Allan married Louise Arnold and had two children; one daughter and one son." similar semicolon splicing here
used a colon instead
  • "He was a lover of books of many genres–though could also speak Swedish," confused by use of "though" here
reworded without though
  • not necessary to give the abbreviated form of the journal info following the quote, considering it's all given in the citation
done
  • are there any taxa that have been named after him?
many, added.
  • this is not any part of the GA-criteria, but I’ll mention it anyway … reading this article, I would not be able to easily find any examples of taxa he has described; would you consider creating and linking it in the article?

::It already has been created and you've attached it to this page. I've rmved it from here, but I don't see how useful it is since it only has 3 species. Annoyingly I can't find a full list anywhere–none of the nz plant databases allow to search by author...

Seems like ipni has a list, so I've added it in an external links section [5]
Better than before but it's a shame that the reader won't be able to see a link to the five Wikipedia articles on taxa that he's described. How many taxa need to be in this category before it becomes "useful"? Esculenta (talk) 16:53, 17 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • + Category:New Zealand taxonomists?
done
@Esculenta any update on this? Dracophyllum 04:29, 11 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Esculenta: I've replied to all your comments. Thanks, Dracophyllum 07:05, 15 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

  • Looking at the IPNI link you provided, it shows that he has described dozens of species in genus Hebe, suggesting that he had some extraordinary expertise or interest in this genus (or maybe wrote a monograph?), but this genus is not mentioned in the article. Do his biographies mention anything about this?
He did write a monograph [6], but it isn't in any of the bios. I might as well add it tho. Dracophyllum 05:06, 19 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
added Dracophyllum 05:12, 19 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
215, added
moved
sources given, the rest are lichens :D

Do you mind me chipping in? I have three issues with the lead:

  • It talks about him publishing scientific material in two different places ("publishing over 100 scientific papers, three introductory handbooks on New Zealand plants, and completing much of a flora covering a country in his lifetime" and "wrote several articles in academic journals"). That seems somewhat disjointed.
one is over his career, the other is while he was teaching Dracophyllum 04:59, 19 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
the mountain, fixed.
  • "Allan oversaw and contributed to vast amounts of research surrounding New Zealand's particularly grasses, pollen, and genetics." The use of the endash in that sentence is incorrect. If you want to use a dash in that place, it needs to be an emdash according to MOS:DASH.
fixed and corrected use elsewhere.

I hope this is helpful. Schwede66 18:28, 18 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Esculenta: I think now I've resolved everything; I've also added extra info on hybrids/lichens that I'd missed earlier. Cheers, Dracophyllum 06:02, 19 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
    Prose is fine; article meets standards of MOS.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
    Sources are reliable, and appropriate for this type of article; I checked several against the statements they supported and did not find any issues.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
    Article has broad coverage with appropriate level of details.
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
    Yes
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
    Yes
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    All images have licenses making them available for use in this article, they are used appropriately, and have useful captions.
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
    Article passes GA review. Good work! Esculenta (talk) 20:01, 19 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
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