Talk:Gloria Cameron/GA1

GA Review

Passed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:26, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: BennyOnTheLoose (talk · contribs) 23:57, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

Copyvio check

I reviewed the four matches of 9.1% or more found using Earwig's Copyvio detector. No issues; only titles, and phrases acceptable per WP:LIMITED
No issues with plagiarism or close paraphrasing from the other sources I reviewed.

Images

Suitable FUR for the image of Cameron. The Karibu Centre image is relevant and CC, positioning and caption are fine. Optionally, ALT text could be added. (MOS:ALT)

Thanks for picking the article up BennyOnTheLoose. I look forward to working with you on it. It may be that we get more photos of this period in London and her. GRuban and I have made contact with one of her sons, who is a photographer and is willing to provide images when he returns from abroad. SusunW (talk) 13:48, 16 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Sources

What is the ancestry.com source used? (WP:ANCESTRY)

We have an obituary, but it doesn't give a death date. The England and Wales Death List is an official record of the General Register Office and gives her name, and the date and place of death. SusunW (talk) 13:48, 16 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

What is the FamilySearch source used? (See the FamilySearch entry at WP:RSP)

Cameron gave no names for her mother or step-monther in the book, only nicknames, which to me were not encyclopedic. The official registration card of the marriage of her father to Eugenie Johnson, who Cameron moved in with immediately after the wedding. SusunW (talk) 13:48, 16 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

There's no consensus on The Evening Standard at WP:RSP. Having looked at the three most recent linked discussions, I think that 1983 pre-dates the concerns about reliability.
The Sunday People is a tabloid, but the info it's being used to support here is uncontroversial, and supported by a photo in the article.
All other sources look fine.

Early life and education

The section is very dependent on Cameron's own account. Are there any indepependent sources that can be substituted? If not, then I'll reread this bearing in mind WP:ABOUTSELF; there are no immediate red flags, but it's not ideal to be so reliant on the subject's own book.

The big problem here is that the major digitized source for Jamaica The Gleaner is hard to search without knowing her birth surname or her mother's name. As with all of the Caribbean, few sources are digitized. Coupled with the facts that her family was not well-to-do, and they were Black, it is highly unlikely that they would have received wide press coverage. I searched under every name combination I could think of for Cameron, her father, and her husband, and found no sources other than those cited, although it is possible that I missed some. SusunW (talk) 16:54, 16 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Fair comment. There's really nothing controversial in this section. I had a look in the British Newspaper Archive and didn't find anything that covered her early life. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:36, 16 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

As I said, we are in contact with a son. He said he can probably provide me with some documents on his mom and her mother's obit, but he was not in the UK when he responded and said it would be later in the year when he returned. Fingers crossed, but one never knows how time will play out. SusunW (talk) 14:39, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

British activism

Spot check on joined the St John's Inter-Racial Club in Brixton. The club was her first entry into community service - no issues.
Spot check on Valerie the clarinet, Franklin the cornet, Christopher the piano, Christine the guitar, and Jennifer the violin - no issues.
Spot check on Her dedication to community service was recognised with an MBE in 1980 - no issues.
Spot check on citation describing her as "Social worker, Lambeth Community Relations Council" - no issues.
Spot check on Harlech Television ran "A Woman's Place: The West Indian Community" about Cameron in 1986 - no issues. (It was earlier broadcast on TSW ("TSW", The Daily Telegraph, 7 Jan 1986 p.27. She was also a guest on Did You See...? in 1983 ("Critical Flashback", Burton Mail, 22 Apr 1983, p.17) but that's less significant.
Spot check on After the 1981 race riots in England, Cameron turned again to culture to improve racial relationships in Brixton. - no issues

Is this okay, or do I need to do something? SusunW (talk) 14:39, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

"No issues" now added. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Spot check on Jamaican Prime Minister's Medal of Appreciation in 1987, in recognition of her contributions to Britain's Caribbean community - no issues
the Social Services Committee - maybe add "of Lambeth Council"?

done SusunW (talk) 14:39, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

the Lambeth Council - in British English, normally just "Lambeth Council"

thanks. I am glad a BE speaker is reviewing it, because I don't know the nuances. ;) SusunW (talk) 14:39, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

In 1985 an expansion to WIPAG was proposed by the Chief Coordinator Community and Voluntary Services (CCCVS) by developing the property at 90 Kellet Road as an additional nursery.[56] The CCCVS was not the typical agency that oversaw nursery and senior day care facilities as these were normally supervised within the social work division - I'm not sure this quite captures the situation. WIPAG was invited by the CCCVS to apply to use the property - I wouldn't call this an "expansion to WIPAG" but I see that it might be termed as such. The CCCCVS was a person (a man) rather than an agency, and that the unusual part was for them to be the Grant Liaison Officer dealing with the group. However, I haven't read the whole book, so am open to being convinced. If you don't mind, please check pages 193-195 and 211-213.

(This section was crazy hard to write. I am not remotely familiar with British social service systems and finding the independent sources was really, really tough. I sought help from editors in the UK as I often have difficulty accessing material there from Mexico. Nada. The only way I found the independent sources was by searching the judge's name and court name on the dates Cameron's book said they occurred. But I was convinced that I couldn't write the article without independent sources for this part and I knew they had to exist.) I've reread the section and made changes per your advice, which I really, really appreciate. SusunW (talk) 14:39, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Per the point above about the CCCVS, I think it's "CCCVS," rather than "CCCVS officer"; but actually I think "The CCCVS officer who had brought the charges, under cross-examination changed his testimony, indicating that his office had never doubted Cameron but that the complaints of parents and staff forced him to act." would need an independent source. There's probably enough in other sources (e.g. The Daily Telegraph and The Guardian, to adequately source enough material about the case).

Okay, deleted. 14:39, 17 August 2023 (UTC)

Spot check on An audit of the accountant's sums, which were reviewed in a two-day adjournment, found no significant irregularities in the accounting books for WIPAG - no issues.

Later life, death and legacy

Spot check on She was remembered for commitment to preserving Caribbean culture and heritage and work to build up the West Indian community in Britain - no issues

Brilliant work, again, SusunW. I did quite a few spot checks as I didn't have much else to comment on. As ever, feel free to challenge. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:36, 16 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful review BennyOnTheLoose. I have a query above and think I have addressed your concerns, but if not, please ping me. I really appreciate your help with the article. SusunW (talk) 14:39, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Lead looks good. I'm satisfied that the article meets the GA criteria, so I'm passing it. (Nearly a year after Gerlin Bean. Tempus fugit!) Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.