Talk:Gabriel Pleydell/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Midnightblueowl (talk · contribs) 17:03, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

This looks to be in very good shape, and from a casual look it seems to meet all of the GA criteria, however I'll give it a full run through and offer some comments for improvement. Midnightblueowl (talk) 17:03, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"Gabriel Pleydell (fl. 1519 – c.1591) of Midgehall, Wiltshire was" - I really don't think that the "of Midgehall, Wiltshire" adds anything at all here. In fact I think it's a little distracting, and it certainly isn't in any way common to include these sorts of local references in the opening sentence of Wiki biographies. Midnightblueowl (talk) 17:07, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I'm not sure about the positioning of the images in this article. Would you agree that the commemorative plaque would look better aligned to the right, and then the mage of the Palace of Westminister aligned to the left? Midnightblueowl (talk) 17:07, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"Gabriel Pleydell was born by 1519 as the sixth of nine children, the fourth son, of wealthy landowner William Pleydell of Coleshill, Berkshire (now Oxfordshire) and Agnes Reason, daughter of Robert Reason of Corfe Castle, Dorset at the family estate of Midgehall in Lydiard Tregoze;[2][3][nb 1] John Pleydell, later Member of Parliament for Cricklade in 1593, was his younger brother." This sentence is a bit lengthy and stilted in parts. How about something akin to: "Gabriel Pleydell was born by 1519 at his family's estate of Midgehall in Lydiard Tregoze. The sixth of nine children, he was the fourth son of the wealthy landowner William Pleydell of Coleshill, Berkshire (now Oxfordshire) and Agnes Reason, the daughter of Robert Reason of Corfe Castle, Dorset.[2][3][nb 1] His younger brother was John Pleydell, later Member of Parliament for Cricklade in 1593." Midnightblueowl (talk) 17:10, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"26s.8d." - maybe spell out 26 shillings and 8 pence? Midnightblueowl (talk) 17:12, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I'm not sure whether the sudden adoption of bullet points in the "Earlier life and family" section really brings anything to the article. I would recommend that you merge this into a single paragraph; I think that that would look a lot neater. Midnightblueowl (talk) 17:25, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I'd be inclined to specify "King" or "Queen" before naming any monarch in the article. It might seem superfluous for those already familiar with English history, but many readers may not be familiar with that. Midnightblueowl (talk) 17:35, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"Several further suits were brought against Pleydell in later life, then residing in Towcester, Northamptonshire, legal controversy a perpetual theme in his public and private life." I'm not sure that the starting and ending parts of this sentence work particularly well together; I would suggest a partial rewrite. Midnightblueowl (talk) 17:45, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
" Approaching death, he is listed by a clerk in July 1590 as resident of the family estate of Midgehall". Again, this could perhaps be more clearly worded. "In July 1590 a clerk listed him as being then resident at his family estate in Midgehall". Midnightblueowl (talk) 17:45, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

All in all, there's been some top notch work here, User:Curlymanjaro. Very impressive. Let me know what you think of these suggestions and we can go from there. Midnightblueowl (talk) 17:32, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your kind and constructive insights, I'll get to work on this immediately. Curlymanjaro (talk) 17:56, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I hope my amendments go a ways to passing this article. If you don't mind, I've inserted your useful sentencing suggestions. Curlymanjaro (talk) 18:32, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Curlymanjaro, I'm happy to see this passed as a GA now. Well done on all the work you have put into it. I would definitely recommend that you send this article to Peer Review at some point in the future as I think that some editors might have some advice on further streamlining the prose. Midnightblueowl (talk) 13:44, 13 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Much appreciated Midnightblueowl. I hope to work with you again in future. Curlymanjaro (talk) 17:04, 13 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.