Talk:From Dust/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: ProtoDrake (talk · contribs) 20:34, 19 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be back in a few days with a review. --ProtoDrake (talk) 20:34, 19 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Review

Grammar

The project was created as a result of his fascination with volcanos, and his desire to combine the ambivalence and the violent characteristic of their nature in a new video game. - Some slightly clunsy phrasing here. I would suggest "...his desire to combine the ambivalence and violent characteristics of their nature in a new video game."
works of Polish painter Zdzisław Beksinski, and Koyaanisqatsi - You should probably use "the works". And if you didn't click on the link, what is Koyaanisqatsi exactly?
The Breath, then guides the tribe to different totems allowing them to perform rituals and to construct villages and settlements. - No comma needed here.
Nature and cycle were the important key elements of the game. - There seems to be a word missing here.
"it's just another universe, another place", something people create from dust" - Too many or too few quotation marks. Not made clear.
Other influences for the game include Conway's Game of Life, a mathematical model of the 1970s, plant propagations, works of Polish painter Zdzisław Beksinski, and Koyaanisqatsi. - Beksinski and Koyaanisqatsi need to be appropriately linked.
Late in the development cycle, journalists offered initial appraisals of the mechanics, presentation, and appeal of From Dust. Commentators praised the physics engine, god-like powers, and scripting of the computer-controlled tribes. - Completely uncited. Please add citation or remove.

Images

File:FromDustTsunami.png - This seems well and good, and is an acceptable alternative to using multiple individual screenshots.
File:Éric Chahi.jpg - From Commons, so free use okay.
File:YasurExplosion.jpg - In public domain so free use, but tagged for copying to Commons. Keen an eye on it.
File:FromDustSphere.png - Seems suitable.

References and links

While all references need archiving to be on the safe side, many of them are dead or redirects that require immediate archiving.
- Edge is now dead, when archiving don't use anything prior to 2014/15 as those have a habit of redirecting to GamesRadar+.
- Joystiq became Engadget
- Ref 2 needs its url updating.
- Ref 16 is dead, needs archiving.
- Ref 19 needs its url updating.
The references themselves have inconsistent formatting between "work" and "publisher" sections.
I should also check the external link to its website.

Those are the issues I found with this otherwise fairly good article. I'm putting the nomination on hold for a while to give you time for the issues above to be addressed. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:40, 21 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@ProtoDrake: Thank you very much for the review! I have fixed the issues you have mentioned above. AdrianGamer (talk) 07:09, 22 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@AdrianGamer: I've had another look through, and I guess it's alright now. Any quibbles I might have are purely stylistic now and shouldn't hold up the article any longer. I'll give this a Pass. --ProtoDrake (talk) 08:47, 22 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]