Talk:Focal segmental glomerulosclerosis

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 3 November 2020 and 27 November 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Rizko2.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 21:33, 16 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Major Revision Suggestions

I think this article can benefit from significant restructuring. Specifically, the following issues need to be addressed:

Completeness - The article provides only a brief overview in the opening summary section. Further discussion of the signs and symptoms, etiology, treatment, and epidemiology should be provided. Furthermore, specific headings - such as "Signs and Symptoms" - could use more detail.
Citations - Inconsistent use of citations is prevalent. Many statements of fact are not supported with a reference. Further, a few primary sources are referenced.
Structure - Most high-quality articles have headings in a standard format, beginning with Signs and Symptoms, Causes, and Pathophysiology. This article fails to prevent such a structure.

I plan to make a few changes to the article to address the above issues, including:

Reformatting opening summary statements to provide a more holistic overview of the entity.
Reorganizing the format of the article to be consistent with other high-quality articles.
Adding more content to several sections that are currently lacking.
Removing certain superfluous sections, such as Etymology and Notable Patients.

Rizko2 (talk) 07:36, 10 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Genetics Table deleted

I have completed making my edits to the page. I am happy to receive feedback and suggestions/corrections. Please note, I have deleted a table on Genetics from the previous article draft. This is because there is a lack of secondary literature on the role of genetics in the pathophysiology of FSGS, and the overall genetic contribution to disease burden is quite low. I am unable to copy the table in-format to the Talk page, but please refer to the October 2020 article edit version by Commarevival in the View History tab to reference that table. I am open to discussion about re-incorporating the table, but I do feel it was disproportionately taking up space in the article.

--Rizko2 (talk) 23:07, 24 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]