Talk:Fisheries in the Philippines/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Chipmunkdavis (talk · contribs) 19:20, 24 September 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) 02:52, 28 October 2024 (UTC)

I'll take this on. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 02:52, 28 October 2024 (UTC)

Apologies for the delay, I've been taking a break. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 06:06, 6 November 2024 (UTC)

Thanks for your patience Chipmunkdavis, over to you. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 03:20, 7 November 2024 (UTC)

Prose and content

• They fall under the jurisdiction of their relevant local government unit[s]

  Done

• poorly managed, and are overfished WP:CINS

  Reworded

• have aimed to ensure fisheries are sustainable and prioritize the support of local fisherfolk while managing the challenges of overexploitation, habitat destruction, pollution, and climate change a strange sentence; aiming to ensure they're sustainable and to prevent habitat destruction etc?

  Reworded

• the establishment of marine protected areas the management technique would surely be more about upholding these marine protected areas rather than establishing them?

  Interestingly it's both, local governments are mandated to create MPAs as part of their management responsibilities. Upholding is a separate sort of challenge.

• Their main product is squalene, which is extracted for export. This sentence is quite confusing without clicking through and reading, it needs some context

  Reworded

• while large boats range range in use?

  Reworded

• which includes big-eye tuna, eastern little tuna, frigate tuna, skipjack, and yellowfin tuna. This information is duplicating information from earlier. If you want to include it here as well, why would you not pick the four most important as listed earlier?

  Trimmed

• Many seaweed farms are small-scale and farmer-owned. Seaweed farming was often carried out alongside other methods of obtaining income, such as fishing. why the switch in tenses?

  Done

• adding $4.33 billion to the economy Which currency is this?

  Done

• Over 40% of imports are tuna Why is imports relevant to fisheries?
• You can cut down the nutrition section, if you are trying to identify trends then state it in prose rather than listing out so many numbers. You only need the most recent years figures. Also, none of it is about nutrition, but rather domestic consumption.
• often being seen as a fallback for those unable to make a living otherwise. MOS:DATED given two sentences ago you mention the collapse of municipal fishing
• A fish market in Cubao Cubao links to disambig

  Odd. It was a redirect with possibilities. It seems it was turned into a redirect this July. I don't really see how most of those items fit a disambiguation page, and the first line definitely isn't in the usual disambiguation style. I would suggest leaving this as is, as Cubao is the clear primary topic of Cubao.

• Same with The government identified 2,302,648 people as working in fisheries in 2022. as cutting down nutrition section
• The depletion of fisheries in different parts of the country have exacerbated the precarious economic situation of many fisherfolk in some local areas. This is a strange sentence, I'm not sure what it's adding the previous sentences, except perhaps clarifying that reduced catches are due to a depletion of fisheries

  Reworded

• Fisherfolk poverty continuously decreased from 2006 to 2018. Why is this?

  The source just reports the bare facts, but I suspect offhand it was a function of general economic growth rather than anything specific to fisheries.

• The government has developed specific plans to try and address fisherfolk poverty MOS:DATED
• The redlinks in the "Size at which fish species are considered mature" are confusing; looking at the "Java parrotfish" for instance in the source gives the scientific name Scarus javanicus. This is despite, according to our article on Scarus, such a species not existing.

  Scarus javanicus is a synonym for Scarus hypselopterus. I've come across quite a few sources produced in Southeast Asia that seem to use outdated scientific names long after they were accepted as invalid.

• the use of mangrove forests could you explain what it means to "use" mangrove forests? Perhaps "fishing of" would be more appropriate?
• Introduce acronym LGU on first use.

  Done

• Link Barangay

  Done

• Generally, I would say the page is too long and doesn't adhere to summary style. It is on a relatively niche topic and is at almost 10 000 words, which Probably should be divided or trimmed. I like the essay User:Trainsandotherthings/The Earth Test here. I do think reading at times can be a drag when excessive detail is gone into such as the Policy and legislation section and other examples given above.

  This article was split into four subarticles during writing. If you have specific ideas for what more could be shifted down to those articles, that would be appreciated. CMD (talk) 15:21, 29 October 2024 (UTC)

  I think the history section is insufficiently summary style; it's about 1/3 of the length of the article it's summarizing. It only really needs four paragraphs maximum given its use of Template:Main. Other things that can be cut are discussed above. I would say the volume of listing in prose makes the article harder to read, and more important examples can be chosen as representative. I'm also a bit uncertain about the extent to which the concept of "fisheries" extends. Does it refer to harvesting (as implied from the lede sentence)? Or does it refer to the entire commercial fishing industry? In the case of the former, it's undue to spend 500+ words discussing the international trade of the product of harvesting. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 00:48, 30 October 2024 (UTC)

  History sections get us all in the end, that should all already be in the subarticle so I'll cut it down. The inclusion of the processing and sales information was due to it being present in many sources, which discuss markets for both the municipal and commercial fisheries. International trade gets its own section in the BFAR reports. CMD (talk) 01:06, 30 October 2024 (UTC)

  That's fair. The international trade section can still be cut down, particularly the importation stuff as mentioned about. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 02:48, 31 October 2024 (UTC)

• Each LGU is able to implement this in their own chosen manner, with there being no prescribed standard.

  Done

• Sangguniang Bayan or Sangguniang Panlungsod. Why or?

  Done

• Local laws must be in line with national laws and policy. What is the difference in this section between municipal authorities and LGUs?

  LGU is the general term for municipal governments and city governments, it's not the most intuitive terminology.

• Could you explain the relationship between these two sentences?

• At municipal, provincial, and national levels, Fisheries and Aquatic Resources Management Councils (FARMCs) are established through Fisheries Administrative Order (FAO) No. 196 from 2000 and its later amendments.
• Fisheries and Aquatic Resource Management Councils were established through Executive Order 240.[9] These can be created at the barangay level, or at the city/municipality level.

• There are two separate establishments, EO 240 and FAO 196. I've grouped and reworded.

• If you're going to note Fisheries Administrative Order is shortened to FAO, you should shorten all uses.

  Done

• Why do you sometimes identify FAOs as BFAR, and other times not?

  Removed

• Only ships larger than 20 GT
• The Indigenous Peoples' Rights Act of 1997 provides some control over natural resources to recognized indigenous groups in their ancestral lands, meaning they can fish in recognized lands without registering so long as they follow fishing regulations, and other fisherfolk require special consent to fish in these areas. condense this sentence, the second half is the most important
• What are Letters of Instruction?
• The Restrictions on gear section can be heavily condensed, you can be more succinct with examples. Perhaps 2-3 sentences.
• yet they can often be acceptable to local communities who might participate in setting their size and boundaries could you elaborate on this?
• Closed seasons for specific species are enabled by the Philippine Fisheries Code. this paragraph can be cut right down. It serves as a history of closed seasons rather than a brief overview.
• The FMAs were established through FAO 263. why is it important to identify what number FAO this was established through?
• (fully named "An Act to Prevent, Deter and Eliminate Illegal, Unreported and Unregulated Fishing") unnecessary
• Most cases were related to incidents within municipal fisheries, or areas with closed seasons.[8]: 14  The most common violations among BFAR cases are unauthorized fishing, using gear inappropriate for municipal fisheries, and unlicensed employees. are these two sentences contradictory?
• forumlas
• Plans to tackle IUU fishing include the 2013 National Plan of Action to Prevent, Deter, and Eliminate Illegal, Unreported, and Unregulated Fishing and BFAR's 2019-2023 Fisheries Law Enforcement Operations Action Plan (FAO 271 of 2018). I'll use this as an example of what I said earlier: "I would say the volume of listing in prose makes the article harder to read":

Are these examples very important? If they are, and would pass GNG for instance, they are worth listing out in full. If there are elements to them that are important, those are what should be highlighted. For instance, Plans to tackle IUU fishing include national plans and ones organized by BFAR. I understand this can be clarified to be more precise, but I hope my point of taking the elements you want to highlight is crucial for adhering to summary style and improving readability and concision.

• In the research section, you're not trying to give a history of the research; if it's notable enough then it will go in Fisheries in the Philippines#History. You are trying to give an overview of current research.
• area being covered by live coral
• This is despite the protection of mangrove forests actually bringing about positive economic outcomes for local fisheries. NPOV, is the despite you or the source? It is unclear if these positive economic outcomes are greater than those when converted to aquaculture.
• I really can't see the utility in listing examples of natural disasters, and if you do, listing five examples.
• such as coasts, coral reefs, and mangroves these examples of habitats have been made clear throughout the article
• cause direct damage to many fisherfolk it injures them?
• Is there a reason east in "the East coast" is capitalized?
• The introduction of payao, while increasing tuna fisheries, increased the catch of juvenile tuna, with some locations seeing 90% of catch being under a year old. some redundancy as this repeats previous sentences
• These direct impacts occur alongside what direct impacts?
• illegal fishing of foreign vessels by foreign vessels?
• with control of coastal resources was likely exercised
• fishery intensity is this the appropriate word to modify? Would fishing be more appropriate?
• A provincial trawling bans was first issued grammar
• steadily until the mid-1970s, and starting growing again WP:CINS
• The mid-1970s saw the introduction of payao introduction of modern payao?
• aimed at creating sustainability in fisheries also consider "promoting" instead of creating
• The newly created 1987 constitution
• Integrated coastal zone management is a good link

Sources

• The Verde Island Passage is possibly the most diverse marine area on the planet. This sentence, particularly possibly doesn't really line up with the source.

  Reworded

• The value of marine ecosystem services is thought to be around US$966.6 billion. This needs to include the continental shelf qualifier.

  Done

• 826.01 thousand tons source says "826.01 thousand MT"; to my understanding these are not the same thing. I can see the same issue further down the paragraph with This included 1.48 million tons of seaweed Further, it reads awkwardly, why not just 826,010 MT? This is accurate according to page 68 of the source.

  Done throughout

• perhaps 10%

  Done

• Philippine environmental law is often regarded as very high quality not really supported, especially by a 20 year old source.
• earned US$170 million, but caused US$1,640 million in environmental damage" qualify that this is over a 20 year period.
• It is relatively understudied MOS:DATED
• The first farmed fish is thought to be milkfish, collected from tidal waters and raised in brackish ponds. url goes to incorrect chapter: use this
• Link for "How many MPAs are there in the Philippines" appears broken

Spot check

Revision

• [10] Y
• [20a] clock I can't see in the source anything supporting the text
• [20b] Y
• [30] Y
• [40] Y
• [50] Y
• [60] Y
• [70] I wouldn't say this is a good summary of the sources, which should reflect that the majority are poorly managed, not just inconsistently. (Having looked at sources [69] and [71]
• [80] clock is this still true? The exhibition opened ostensibly before the carve-up into 12 FMAs.
• [90a] Y
• [90b] clock flagged above
• [100] Y (link issue flagged above)

Suggestions

• The short description is incorrect. The article probably doesn't need a short description.

  Done

• are defined through the Philippine Fisheries Code of 1998 (RA 8550),[1] which defines repetition of defines reads awkwardly

  Reworded

• General comment: The article has a lot of statistics, which is okay, but it can make it harder to read at times. Some things are fine with prose, such as "Over half (62.88%) of caught fish come from five regions".

  Unsure what this means?

  I just mean you can cut the (62.88%) from the sentence and the meaning isn't changed and it reads more naturally and easily. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 06:06, 6 November 2024 (UTC)

• 0.16 million tons → 160 thousand tons

  Done

• Some inconsistency in capitalization of PhP and spacing with number.

  Done what I think MOS:CURRENCY is asking

• the cooperation of local and national government with fisherfolk and other stakeholders → "local and national governments to cooperate with..."

  Done

• Quite a bit of MOS:OVERLINKING per the paragraph beginning "Links may be excessive even if they are informative"
• Pollution has also increased due to the overall increase in shipping. → A rise in shipping has also increased pollution
• decrease potential income
• Growing population during American rule add article to beginning (e.g. a, the)
• what it was in 1951 what it had been
• had began to become apparent were becoming apparent

Other

• Images:

• File:Philippine Island - Manila - NARA - 68156526.jpg clock Creation date should be made consistent
• File:Lanuza Bay fishing zones.JPG I think the copyright for this isn't the photo, but the map within. If you can clarify this / update that it would be helpful.

• Stable Y
• Broad / summary style clock I want to see more work on this, I will re-review
• Neutral clock Some normative claims around sustainability concerns, I will re-review as this may just be me. I have flagged one in the review.
• No COPYVIO / OR Y 29.6% Earwig, legislation titles

Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 04:17, 28 October 2024 (UTC)