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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Farrokh Khan/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: HistoryofIran (talk · contribs) 01:15, 13 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Borsoka (talk · contribs) 04:49, 6 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it well written?
    A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
    B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
  2. Is it verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check?
    A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
    B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):
    C. It contains no original research:
    D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
    B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
  4. Is it neutral?
    It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
  5. Is it stable?
    It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
  6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
    B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:

Comments

  • Introduce Kashan as a city.
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:18, 8 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...which had produced government officials, artists and jurists Where?
Added Iran. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:18, 8 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...a certain... Delete and introduce Mohammad Mehdi.
Unfortunately he only appears in the family tree that the citation cites, nothing more. I'll try to find some info about him.
  • Can shah be translated as king?
Yep. But it's generally written as "shah" rather than "king" in literature.
  • ...the siege of Herat... A link and a very short context (Perhaps, "against its rebellious prince/inhabitants...")?
Unfortunately no link for the siege exists (yet, it's on the to do list). Added some more info that gives more context about Herat, including the "to preserve Herat as a frontier vassalage" bit. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:40, 11 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I've now started creating the article for the siege, and thus included a link. --HistoryofIran (talk) 04:30, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    • The Sadozai ruler of Herat, Kamran Shah Durrani, who had previously identified himself as an Iranian vassal, was compelled to change his allegiance and form an alliance with the British. Why not "..an Iranian vassal, now formed an alliance with the British..."?
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 03:17, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • His relatives listed in the article are intellectuals and artists. How his did his military career start?
Unfortunately I couldn't find anything that went more into depth regarding that. --HistoryofIran (talk) 21:06, 10 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Introduce Mazardaran as a province.
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:18, 8 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Mohammad Shah dispatched Farrokh Khan to Mazandaran in 1836, where he suppressed a local uprising. He was sent, and later, by chance suppressed an uprising, or he was sent to suppress the riot?
I think it was the latter. Adjusted that part. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:40, 11 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • He was dispatched to Isfahan the next year and Gilan in 1839 to deal with similar problems. Rephrase to avoi the repetition of the verb "dispatch".
Replaced "dispatched" with "sent". Or should more be done? --HistoryofIran (talk) 21:06, 10 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...siege of Herat... A very short context? (Perhaps, "during a new war/a war against its prince".)
Added some context. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:51, 11 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...Farrokh Khan compiled a review on the actions of the Iranian army under the orders of Mohammad Shah. Rephrase to avoid the repetition of the phrase "under the orders" (Perhaps, "MS ordered him to compile....")
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 02:26, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Introduce Mirza Taqi Khan.
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:40, 9 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...was appointed as the personal treasurer of Naser al-Din Shah Qajar... By whom? Rephrase to avoid the repetition of the verb "appoint". Introduce Naser al-Din as Mohammad Shah's successor.
Unfortunately the source doesn't say, though it seems to be indicating that Naser al-Din Shah gave him that position? "he became private treasurer to Nāṣer-al-dīn Shah"). I rephrased it a bit and also introduced him as Mohammad Shah's successor. --HistoryofIran (talk) 21:06, 10 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Unfortunately I couldn't find anywhere where its meaning was explained. This title is not italicized in WP:RS (as its used as a name), which is why I haven't italicized it in this article. --HistoryofIran (talk) 15:04, 11 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
High or low, administrative or financial?
  • In 1855, as part of his two-pronged strategy of military operations and diplomacy, Mohammad Shah sent Farrokh Khan as an ambassador to the court in Paris, when Iran was in a conflict with Britain and besieging Herat for the third time. His mission was to discuss Iran's demands for the end of the Herat campaign with the British diplomats in Paris and Constantinople. He was also instructed to approach the United States for military assistance and a loan. In October 1856, Herat was conquered by the Iranian army with the assistance of the tunnels dug by the French army engineer M. Buhler. 1. Consider follow a chronological order, because in the previous section we were informed that Mohammad Shah died. 2. I would again introduce the theme with the conflict: a conflict began and he was sent to Europe. 3. Was he rewarded with the title "Amin ol-Molk" for his successful diplomatic mission?
Ops, didn't mean to add Mohammad Shah, replaced him with Naser al-Din Shah. I also added more context for the siege, and removed the bit about "Amin ol-Molk" from the article, as the cited source unfortunately doesn't go into further detail, so it's really not being of much use imo. If I ever find a source that goes into further detail in the future, I'll re-add it. --HistoryofIran (talk) 03:16, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Shortly explain the term "Great Game".
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 02:38, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...to preserve Herat as a frontier vassalage We were not previously mentioned that Herat was a vassal state.
Added some context in the Early career section. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:40, 11 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...more than fifty years of Iranian engagement. Three and a half centuries of nearly continuous, although frequently chaotic, inclusion of Herat... Contradiction?
Ops, removed "Iranian". It was fifty years of Qajar engagement, which was part of the three and half centuries of inclusion of Herat by Iranian dynasties (starting from Safavid Iran). --HistoryofIran (talk) 01:38, 11 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Similar to how the Treaty of Turkmenchay with Russia in 1828 marked a turning point in relations between Iran and Russia, so too did the Treaty of Paris with Iran and Britain. Delete. The article is not about the history of Iran.
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:18, 8 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...they would have to endure losing territory on its outskirts in order to protect its center Rephrase (for instance, "they" vs "its", I would say peripheries instead of outskirts.
Done (I think?). --HistoryofIran (talk) 14:44, 11 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • The loss of Herat, akin to the earlier loss of the Caucasian provinces, illustrated the limitations on authority over territories that were historically and culturally part of Greater Iran. Despite their deep-rooted ties, these areas could no longer be sustained as provinces within the Guarded Domains of Iran. Delete. The article is not about the history of Iran.
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:18, 8 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...premier's vacillations... Premier?
I've replaced "grand vizier" with "premier" in the article for it to make more sense. --HistoryofIran (talk) 13:50, 9 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ..., possibly being altruistic,... Delete this PoV, or attribute it to a scholar.
Attributed to Abbas Amanat. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:18, 8 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...the British would do everything it took to achieve their goals... Rephrase.
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 14:44, 11 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...He encouraged Farrokh Khan to personally approach Queen Victoria... Encouraged, ordered or requested?
"Encouraged" it seems, which is in line with Naser al-Din Shah's weak character. From the source; "With some despair he urged the Persian emissary to plead personally with the queen of England to accept his "friendly request" " --HistoryofIran (talk) 02:24, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...at contrast with global norms... What norms? Diplomatic?
Source unfortunately doesn't mention. Just says "Not only did he regard it as highly inappropriate and contrary to the practices of all nations". --HistoryofIran (talk) 02:24, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...had made friendship treaties... Why past perfect? I understand he was still staying in Europe during the events mentioned in the previous section.
Removed "had". --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:40, 9 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...with various European nations... Some examples?
Unfortunately the only example given is the United States. Couldn't find anything elsewhere. --HistoryofIran (talk) 02:24, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Introduce Mirza Malkam Khan.
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:40, 9 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...Mirza Aqa Khan Nuri's manoeuvres... One or two examples?
Unfortunately no further details are given. I couldn't find more info about this in other sources either. --HistoryofIran (talk) 02:24, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ..., which was that Farrokh Khan would become a powerful competitor for the position of grand vizier due to his successful diplomatic mission in Europe I would mention this in the paragraph's first sentence as the principal reasons of the grand visier's manoeuvres. Borsoka (talk) 02:38, 7 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 02:24, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

  • File:A compilation of summaries of treaties concluded between Persia and Britain, France and Russia, prepared for Farrokh Khan Ghaffari, Persia, Tehran, Qajar, mid-19th century.jpg: US PD tag is needed.
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 21:29, 10 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • File:Ferouk Khan 1857 The Illustrated London News full page.jpg. Its source in Commons does not verify it. I think we need a non US (British) PD tag because it was published in a British newspaper.
I can't seem to find such template. --HistoryofIran (talk) 21:29, 10 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 02:38, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source review

  • Sources "Section" lists relevant, reliable academic sources published by renowned publishing houses.
  • Add ISBN to Gaffary (1984) and Gösken (2018), and ISSN to Floor (1999)
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 14:54, 11 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I think the article meets all GA criteria, so I pass it. I found the article interesting. Thank you for completing it. Borsoka (talk) 10:44, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

And thank you once again for the review, Borsoka! HistoryofIran (talk) 13:35, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
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