Talk:Erythranthe/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 12:44, 18 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I propose to take on this review and will study the article in detail shortly. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 12:44, 18 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Some preliminary thoughts

If you want to discuss the etymology of the name, it is probably best to have a section devoted to it, or you could have an "Etymology and taxonomy" section.
- I renamed it to "Etymology and Taxonomy" is that what you meant? HalfGig talk 01:26, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I was thinking you would be moving in all or part of the first paragraph of your Description section. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 09:46, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done I agree. This is better. HalfGig talk 21:11, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The Description section should be a description of the general characteristics of the group, see Cucurbita, an article you know well, for what I mean. Zombia is another example.
Do you need to have two species lists? Do they contain the same species, or are some species in one and not the other?
- Since there are so many and there are significant section differences, I thought making two helped seeing the larger picture and if you want to know what's in a section, it's easy to do so, and likewise for having a straight listing. HalfGig talk 01:26, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Personally, I would put the species lists at the end of the article because otherwise people may not even find the text below.
- Y Done. Since there are so many, I see the merit to this, note Cucurbita has it the way I first had it. HalfGig talk 01:26, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I think that is a considerable improvement, leaving the main part of the article more rounded and compact. I will now study the article in detail and continue with the rest of the review. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 09:41, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Alternatively, you could consider separating the species into a List of Erythranthe species as happens in the Attalea and Stylidium articles. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:23, 18 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

First reading

"Flowers are red, pink, or yellow, often in various combinations." - This information in the lead should be included in the body of the text.
- moved. HalfGig talk 17:36, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
The first paragraph of the "Description" section should be moved to after the second paragraph.
- done. HalfGig talk 17:36, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Your description of Erythranthe guttata should finish with mention of the fruits and seeds.
- Added by me. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:14, 27 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I still think, as mentioned above, that you additionally need to mention the characteristics of the genus, why the members are included in the genus and not in Mimulus or elsewhere.
- Still working on the description section. Prob need a few more days, please. HalfGig talk 17:36, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Diplacus is clearly derived from within Mimulus s.l. and was not usually considered to be generically distinct." - Did you mean "generically" or "genetically"?
- fixed. HalfGig talk 17:36, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Erythranthe was greatly enlarged to include 111 species (species with axile placentation and long pedicels)." - This information should be included additionally in the "Description" section, because it is this that seperates the genus from other members of the Phrymaceae family.
- working. HalfGig talk 17:36, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  - Done. HalfGig talk 00:10, 29 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"The perennial and annuals differ ..." - This sentence is too long and convoluted, and shouldn't it be "perennials"?
- Took a stab at it. HalfGig talk 17:36, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"All six of these species ..." - Which six species are you referring to?
- clarified. HalfGig talk 17:36, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Members of this genus are found in eastern Asia; several species of which have a high degree of similarity some the species found in North and South America." - This sentence is a bit muddled.
- added "with" HalfGig talk 17:36, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

That's all for now. It is quite a challenging article because of the complexity of the taxonomy of the genus. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 11:05, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

- Yes, it's more challenging than most. HalfGig talk 17:36, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Give me a ping when you are ready for me to look at the article again. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:53, 30 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
- @Cwmhiraeth: I will. This has been harder than I expected but I do want to finish. I'm almost done with what I can do and at this point am waiting on input from someone else, who, unfortunately, has been delayed by real life obligations. I fully intend to finish. Thank you for your patience and understand. HalfGig talk 18:59, 30 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  - @Cwmhiraeth: The guy still hasn't given me his input. He's way overdue from what he promised and I haven't heard from him lately. I guess you should go ahead and take another look and we'll work through it the best we can. HalfGig talk 11:18, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Second reading

Sminthopsis84 has made a few alterations to the article. I have done some light copyediting, and here are a few more things I noticed:

"Molecular data show Erythranthe and Diplacus to be distinct evolutionary lines, not each other's closest relative, and apart from strictly defined Mimulus." - How about leaving out the middle phrase and rewording this as "Molecular data show Erythranthe and Diplacus to be distinct evolutionary lines that are distinct from Mimulus as strictly defined."
- Agree. Changed. HalfGig talk 13:57, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
- Agree. Sminthopsis84 (talk) 01:35, 6 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"The plant is hairy to slightly hairy and grows from 0.5–3 cm (0.20–1.18 in) tall." - This is about Erythranthe alsinoides and the dimensions are wrong (more likely 5 to 30 cm tall).
- Good catch! Fixed. Source said dm not cm. HalfGig talk 13:57, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"The flowers are yellow with reddish-brown spots, usually on the lower lip, and have fuse into upper and lower lips" - This sentence needs attention.
- made fuse past tense. HalfGig talk 13:57, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Diplacus is clearly derived from within Mimulus s.l. and was not usually considered to be a separate genus." - I don't understand this. What do you mean by "Mimulus s.l."?
- abbr for "sensu lato", meaning in the broad sense. This is used in botany a lot, as is "sensu stricto", meaning in the strict sense. I've changed to lay terms. HalfGig talk 13:57, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"in central California between 200,000 and 500,000 years ago" - It is customary to put the oldest date first.
- Done. HalfGig talk 13:57, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I think that's all. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:03, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Cwmhiraeth: Ready for next round. HalfGig talk 13:57, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

GA criteria

The article is well written and complies with MOS guidelines on prose and grammar, structure and layout.
The article uses many reliable third-party sources, and makes frequent citations to them. I do not believe it contains original research.
The article covers the main aspects of the subject and remains focussed.
The article is neutral.
The article is stable.
The images are relevant and have suitable captions, and are either in the public domain or properly licensed.

Final assessment - I believe this article reaches the GA criteria. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 18:17, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
- @Cwmhiraeth: Thank you for the most excellent review and understanding. The article is much better now. HalfGig talk 19:51, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]