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GA Review

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Reviewer: Bilorv (talk · contribs) 17:50, 28 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one. — Bilorv (talk) 17:50, 28 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Overall

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This is an excellently written article and I'm happy that it is broad, neutral, stable and illustrated (with an appropriate fair use rationale). I've just got a question about a couple of sources and then some nitpicks in the prose. But the structure is great, it's clear to a reader with no background knowledge and the trickiest part of an episode article—"Reception"—is organized well with topic sentences and comments sorted by theme.

Referencing

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I'm familiar with most sources or have convinced myself that they are reliable. What makes these sources reliable: The Daily Moth, Geek Culture?

Spotchecks (numbering as of Special:Permalink/1171952616): #3, #27, #32, #38, #43, #50, #51, #53, #57, #67. No issues found.

Copyedits

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Plot

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  • "who they convince to help them escape" – Reads a bit clunkily with "who", "they" and "them". It could be "who agree to help them escape".
  • "she shortly arrives" – I think this has to be "she arrives shortly" (or "she soon arrives").

Production

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  • "was assigned to direct for the series" – Can be made more concise e.g. "would direct for the series".
  • Johnson's casting sentence could maybe be cut down: "..., departed for the set by Saturday and began filming by the following Wednesday".
  • "noting it had impacted him when playing" – I'm a bit lost. The character had impacted the actor when playing the video game? (In what way?)
  • "Johnson found the scene" – The suicide scene?
  • "tried to be as present as authentic as possible" – The middle "as" should be an "and".
  • "Johnson considered Henry's final decision was to join his brother" – I think "considered" doesn't fit here; it could be "said"/"believed".
  • "Mazin found Kathleen being killed by a child important" – "being killed" is a strange tense. Maybe "Mazin found it important that Kathleen was killed by a child".
  • Maybe add "(ADR)" in parentheticals after "automated dialogue replacement", as some readers (me!) may only be familiar with it through its abbreviation.
  • "and considered it selfless" – Not clear who considered it selfless (Pierce or Perry).
  • ... found his death was an honorable "samurai death" sacrificing himself for the woman he loves – May read better as ... saw his death as an honorable "samurai death", where he sacrificed himself for the woman he loves.
  • "was completely built" – "was built" would convey the same information.
  • House by the Railroad could get a year in parentheticals.
  • I think "40 kilograms" should be "40-kilogram".
  • The team wanted the creature to have a "practical presence" – Who is this quoting?
  • "Mazin wrote the bloater tore Perry in two" – Doesn't read right to me with a "that" ("Mazin wrote that ...")

Reception

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  • Since it's just a weekly online article, I think linking honorable mention is a bit much (I don't think a dictionary definition is needed instead as most readers will understand it in context).
  • "Rabab Khan wrote the cinematography captured" – Think you need a "that".
  • "Aaron Bayne similarly felt ..." – Similar to which critic?

Lead and other

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  • "post-apocalyptic drama" is a sea of blue: I think most readers understand "drama" in context so maybe that link could be removed.
  • introduced "bloaters" ... the costume – I was confused as to whether there was one or many bloaters in the episode before I got to "Production". Perhaps introduced the first "bloater" and use singular consistently (even though, I assume, there are more in either the series or the video game).
  • (Also in "Plot".) Henry and Sam are linked to List of The Last of Us characters rather than List of The Last of Us (TV series) characters, and I think only the first named should be linked while these are links to the same section, "Harry and Sam".
  • A cul-de-sac is mentioned in the infobox caption but nowhere else—perhaps it should be mentioned in "Plot"?
  • (Not part of the GA criteria.) The images in the body should have alt text.

Thanks! — Bilorv (talk) 20:20, 28 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review and kind words, Bilorv! I've gone through and addressed your concerns. Regarding The Daily Moth and Geek Culture: since they're both interviews with the relevant subjects (Woodard and Pierce, respectively), I believe they're considered primary sources and acceptable for citing straightforward information, which I believe is the case here. Please let me know if you have any other comments or concerns. Rhain (he/him) 02:38, 29 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Excellent, I'm happy that all of my comments have been addressed and this is a pass for GA. Thanks for the quick response! — Bilorv (talk) 15:20, 29 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]