Talk:El Tatio/GA1
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Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 18:25, 27 July 2018 (UTC)
I'll review this. ceranthor 18:25, 27 July 2018 (UTC)
- Working on the review. Will try to post it ASAP. ceranthor 23:30, 5 August 2018 (UTC)
- Lead
- "within the Andes Mountains" - why within rather than just in?
- " 4,320 meters" - conversion?
- "Various etymologies have been proposed for the system, including "oven" but also "grandfather"." - vague; what do you mean to say?
- "It was prospected over the last century for the potential of geothermal power production, but such a project was discontinued after a major incident in 2009." - need to describe it more specifically than just vague "incident"
- Name and research history
- worth mentioning that Kunza is extinct language? I think so
- otherwise fine.
- I don't think it's particularly relevant here. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 15:31, 7 August 2018 (UTC)
- Geomorphology and geography
- "El Tatio lies in the Antofagasta Province of northern Chile close to the border between Chile and Bolivia,[9][a] 80 kilometres (50 mi) north of the town San Pedro de Atacama and 100 kilometres (62 mi) east of the town of Calama.[11] " - too long; split into two?
- "Towns close to El Tatio are Toconce in the north, Caspana in the west and Machuca in the south." - "to the...X" instead of "in the...X" for all three mentioned here
- "n 1959, a workers' camp for a sulfur mine at Volcan Tatio was the only habitation close to the geothermal field.[13]" - seems a bit out of place; maybe move around or get a better transition?
- "There are several unpaved roads and all parts of the field are easily reachable from each other,[14] and the old Inca trail from San Pedro de Atacama to Siloli crossed the geyser field;[3] the Inca also operated a mountain sanctuary on Volcan Tatio.[15]" - second half of first sentence should be its own sentence, but keep the semicolon and everything after it in that second sentence
- link Central Volcanic Zone
- "while the Sierra de Tucle lies southwest of it.[17]" - instead of "southwest of it", "lies to the southwest"
- " moraines testify to their existence.[27] A large moraine complex," - link moraine twice in super close proximity
- "The Rio Salado has its headwaters in the field[8] and is joined by the Rio Tucle within the El Tatio geothermal field, and it drains most of the hot spring water;[30][31] " - rephrase so that it's more clear the Rio Salado drains the springs
- "temperatures of 17–32 °C (63–90 °F) have been recorded in the water flowing to the Rio Salado.[23]" - super passive voice; rephrase
- I think I got these issues. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 15:31, 7 August 2018 (UTC)
Just a brief start. Will post more comments when I have time later today. ceranthor 14:53, 7 August 2018 (UTC)
- Geomorphology and geography (cont.)
- "and is the largest geyser field in the southern hemisphere (the largest in the world are Yellowstone in the United States of America and Dolina Geizerov) with about 8% of all geysers in the world and is (together with Sol de Mañana) the highest geyser field in the world.[34][11]" - too much going on, and perhaps not all necessary (largest in world for example, unless better integrated into the text)
- "a fairly small height in comparison to Yellowstone or Dolina Geizerov.[41] " - this might be a better option to introduce these as the largest
- "On a smaller scale, one can find cones, crusts, mollusc-shaped formations and waterfall-like surfaces.[45]" - "on a smaller scale..." is vague
- "High contents of silica give the waters a blueish colour," - minor, but isn't it "bluish"?
- "greenish hues are owing to iron bacteria.[47]" - too much passive voice; rephrase
- How married are you to keeping the bulleted text rather than making it normal prose? Not sure what bulleting really adds
- Sinter is linked several times though it's already linked earlier in the geo/geo section
- Pictures are really cool. Nice touch.
- Blueish is apparently a spelling variant. Regarding passive voice I was thinking to add some variety. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 16:41, 8 August 2018 (UTC)
- Geology
- "all separated by areas with no recent volcanism" - a more exact timeframe would be useful if available
- "Had the region been dominated by andesitic volcanism producing lava flows until the late Miocene," - this makes it sound like a hypothetical (it's the "Had"); but I don't think it's meant to read that way
- Holocene overlinked
- Climate and biology
- link monsoon since SA Monsoon lacks an article
- "The whole Central Andes were wetter in the past, resulting in the formation of lakes such as Lake Tauca in the Altiplano,[25] and together with a colder climate in the development of glaciers at El Tatio which have left moraines.[90] " - not a grammatically correct sentence (particularly second half)
- Should use an endash for date ranges, not a hyphen
- Not sure that I like having a special link for monsoon, I think that most people know what a monsoon is. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 16:41, 8 August 2018 (UTC)
- Spring biology
- Spring biology can be combined as a subsection here I think (under biology)
- No need to link arsenic again, or UV radiation
- same with linking life
- "In splash cones Synechococcus-like microbes are instead responsible for the structures, which resemble these of hot springs.[103]" - "those" not "these" I suspect
- Integrate bullet point into text
- Dunno about the header; to me it sounds like it's so substantial that it merits its own section. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 16:41, 8 August 2018 (UTC)
- Geological history
- "The relative movement of the Tucle horst and Tatio graben that gave rise to both occurred in the Pliocene-Quaternary when the Western Cordillera was subject to extensional tectonics. " - wordy, and I think you need a less complicated topic sentence to start the section
- Date ranges should use endashes, not hyphens
- "The Tatio ignimbrite is indurated" - meaning what? jargon-y
- "Volcan Tatio erupted mafic lavas" - worth clarifying briefly in parentheses what mafic means
- I think I got these. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 18:55, 8 August 2018 (UTC)
- Human exploitation
- "and where the heat flow from the interior of the globe is sufficiently high can be used both for heating purposes and for the generation of electrical power." - missing an "it" after "high"
- " 10,9 gigawatt geothermal energy are produced on Earth" - "10,9"? seems like a typo but unsure
- "a bidding process for exploration rights in 1978 to attract private companies to El Tatio was interrupted by government changes.[130]" - maybe elaborate just a bit on the details of the government changes?
- "
The venting created by the blow-out On the 8th September 2009, a drilling well in El Tatio blew out, generating a 60-metre (200 ft) high steam fountain[136] that was not plugged until the 4th October 2009.[137] " - why "the" before both dates?
- "The project had already earlier been opposed by the local Atacameno population " - worth noting that they're an indigenous people
- "march of two women to Santiago to complain about the project.[141] " - not sure "complain" is the best word here
- "The Geotérmica del Norte company was fined 100 UTM[h] for violating mitigation plans, a fine upheld in 2011 by the Court of Appeals in Santiago.[143]" - worth explaining what UTM means, or converting it to another currency?
- Source has no details on what government changes other than they happened in 1978 apparently. Replaced "complain" with another word, not sure if it's better. I need a source for "indigenous", seems like. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 18:55, 8 August 2018 (UTC)
- Tourism
- Any update since?
- Can't find much recent information that would be topical. Many of the sources are not necessarily reliable either. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 18:55, 8 August 2018 (UTC)
- References
- Ref 141 - standardize with capitalization for other article titles in references (fix all caps)
- Same with ref 145
- Comprehensive sources. And they seem very reliable throughout.
- Earwig's tool looks good.
- Images
- Vivid and sourced properly.
- Image in "climate and biology" might be moved up; it's creeping into the next section for me on Chrome.
- Same with warning sign image. Maybe make it smaller?
- Worked with {{Clear}} template; not sure if that is the best approach. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 18:55, 8 August 2018 (UTC)
- General
- Don't overlink epochs or chemicals
- Use endashes for date ranges
Looks good and super comprehensive. Nice work. ceranthor 15:49, 8 August 2018 (UTC)
- Thanks, I think I got everything. Apropos of nothing, I wonder if the article in its current state would pass at FAC. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 18:55, 8 August 2018 (UTC)
- @Jo-Jo Eumerus: I'll go ahead and pass. I think the prose needs fine-tuning, but comprehensiveness-wise, I certainly think it is FAC-ready. ceranthor 15:41, 9 August 2018 (UTC)