Talk:Eka Pada Rajakapotasana/GA1
GA Review
[edit]GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Onegreatjoke (talk · contribs) 18:47, 11 December 2022 (UTC)
Hello! I have come to review yet another one of your yoga nominations. This will be my fourth review so there may be problems with it. Review shall begin tomorrow. Onegreatjoke (talk) 18:47, 11 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks again. Chiswick Chap (talk) 19:19, 11 December 2022 (UTC)
- Alright. My review is finished. Putting on hold. Onegreatjoke (talk) 19:28, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
- Comments have been addressed. I can now promote this. Onegreatjoke (talk) 17:13, 13 December 2022 (UTC)
- Alright. My review is finished. Putting on hold. Onegreatjoke (talk) 19:28, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks again. Chiswick Chap (talk) 19:19, 11 December 2022 (UTC)
Prose
[edit]- Lead
- "while the Aerial yoga variant, supported in a hammock, is Flying Pigeon Pose" Probably should be either called flying... or named Flying...
- Done.
- "It is one of the yoga poses often used in advertising to convey desired qualities such as flexibility and grace." could probably just say "It is a yoga pose often used..."
Origins
- The phrase says that it belongs to the (small) subject of poses used in this way.
- "The pose is described in the 20th century by two of Krishnamacharya's pupils, Pattabhi Jois in his Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga, and B. K. S. Iyengar in his Light on Yoga." I don't think you need the comma there.
- It's standard British punctuation.
- Variations
- "In Supported [King] Pigeon or Salamba Kapotasana, the rear leg is straight out and the hands are on the ground beside the hips, so the backbend is reduced." Could probably just say "...hips, reducing the backbend."
- Done.
- "but it is a wholly different pose from the advanced kneeling backbend of Kapotasana." wholly seems unnecessary. Either get rid of it or replace it.
- Done.
- "The strap is grasped with both hands, the arms reversed so that the elbows point upwards." Comma splice. consider doing "...hands; the..."
- No, it's not a splice, nor can we use a semicolon there. The phrase after the comma is in apposition to the main clause, adding more detail.
- "the hands and the rear foot are as for Rajakapotasana I, but according to Iyengar Yoga the front knee points forwards," add comma after Iyengar Yoga.
- That isn't how it's spoken in British English.
- "another block if needed under the front leg" should be "another block, if needed, under the front leg."
- Well, firstly that's not necessary, and secondly it'd bring the comma count up to 5 for the sentence.
That's all for prose.
- Alright, passing this section after the edits you made.
Referenced
[edit]- What makes Yogapedia reliable?
- removed.
- @Chiswick Chap: Are you done with this section? Onegreatjoke (talk) 15:06, 13 December 2022 (UTC)
Other than that everything else is good.
Copyvio
[edit]Ok, so earwig is reporting some possibly copyvios. However, I can't decipher if it's a wikimirror, you did copyviod it, or if the website copyviod from here. Regardless, i would like some elaboration. Onegreatjoke (talk) 18:18, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
- Well, firstly most of the reported match is in repeated standard phrases like "in modern yoga as exercise". That is in fact a sign that they copied from us, because I had originally phrased this as "in modern yoga" but had to avoid that because "modern yoga" doesn't actually imply anything to do with exercise or postures, so I changed it. The only more substantial match is their copy of our lead section, which I assembled from scratch to summarize the article, so again, I'm certain they copied us.
- I think the same way so pass this section.
Broad
[edit]I don't think the origins section is broad enough. For the origins, there really isn't "origins" to go off of. The sentence
- "The pose is described in the 20th century by two of Krishnamacharya's pupils, Pattabhi Jois in his Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga,[3] and B. K. S. Iyengar in his Light on Yoga."
Doesn't really describe the origins of it. I might be wrong (or maybe there isn't enough sources to explain a concrete origin) but that's my main problem with this section. Onegreatjoke (talk) 18:18, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
- There is very little more to be said. What I'd like to say, if I could only source it, is what is evident to anybody who studies the source material, which is that this asana must be a recent invention; it is not described anywhere in nearly 1,000 years of hatha yoga texts. Given that Jois and Iyengar led rival schools, both were taught by Krishnamacharya, and both used this pose, it looks likely that Krishnamacharya invented it. However, it's not in his Yoga Makaranda. But we can't say that in the article.
- If there's no information out there then I guess i'll have to pass this.
Neutral
[edit]Nothing looks unneutral so this section is a pass.
Stable
[edit]Article is stable so pass.
Media
[edit]All Media looks good so this section is a pass.