Talk:Edwin McMillan/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 18:49, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I propose to review this article. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 18:49, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

First reading

This article reads well. Just a few minor points.

"McMillan's initial work there involved attempting to measure the magnetic moment of the proton, but he was beaten to it by Otto Stern and Immanuel Estermann." - This is a bit too colloquial in my opinion.
Y Tried to re-word it. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"This was mixed with hydrogen and oxygen to produce water, with was then collected with calcium chloride." - This sentence needs attention.
Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
" Radioactivity was found concentrated in the calcium chloride, proving that it was in the oxygen." - Calcium chloride does not contain oxygen so is this oxygen in the form of water of crystallization or what?
Y Clarified. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"They bombarded it with neutrons" - Who is "they"?
Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I was unaware that uranium had been named after Uranus so perhaps you should spell out the reason for naming the new element neptunium more clearly.
Y Sure. I thought it was pretty well known. Had to double-check that the original source covers this. I was surprised to discover that a neutron has a magnetic moment, despite having no charge. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"The departure of McMillan was caused by the outbreak of World War II in Europe." - This is a new section and this statement is a bit stark. How about prefacing it with "The reason for McMillan's not continuing with this research was ..." or somesuch.
Y Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"proposed a radical solution involving explosive lens." - Missing word. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 19:52, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Y Just need a plural. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"But he was involved with implosion" - Having just mentioned "Little Boy", it might be best to start this sentence with McMillan rather than "He".
Y Just need a plural. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Wikilink implosion, International Union of Pure and Applied Physics,
Y Wikilinked the latter, but implosion-type nuclear weapon is already linked. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
What is the "phase stability principle"?
Y Clarified. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I am unclear as to whether the image is properly licensed. I will need to ask someone else.
We can add a Fair Use template if required. It is definitely PD in Sweden. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

That's all for the moment. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 19:52, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Final reading

I sought advice from FunkMonk on the image and my understanding of his reply is that it is OK to use the image. I find that the article is well written and complies with MOS guidelines on prose quality and structure, is suitably cited to reliable sources, is neutral and is stable. I believe it meets the GA criteria. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:07, 23 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]