Talk:Dominant white/GA1

GA Review

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Support: I cannot review for GA as I was a secondary editor on this, but I think this article has been exceptionally well-researched by the nominator and it has been reviewed by at least two other veteran WIkiProject Equine editors as well, so it should be ready to pass GA muster. Montanabw^(talk) 18:10, 20 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

hehehe, I'll take it into account. I will begin a look-over now and make any straightforward prose improvements - feel free to revert if I goof and inadvertently change the meaning. i will post any queries below. Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:25, 29 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

One common problem in prose is trying to reduce repetition - e.g. in the first paragraph, "Dominant white" is repeated six times. Mostly this is necessary, but it helps ofr elegance of prose if we can reduce by one or two. Similarly, "breed" appears quite alot in the ext para. I will see what I can do.

Be worth noting in a couple of words who Pulos and Hutt are or where they're from.

The eponymous mutation produces a belly spot.. - eponymous means named after someone (?) which is not mentioned.

Eponymous: Hm, though it was a thing named after a thing, is it always a person? Worth a tweak if so... The referencing issues will be all CCs to fix, as she did the sourcing (and may be super busy this weekend, timing isn't great, patience may be required). I can probably work with all other tweaks. We appreciate your help and comments! Montanabw^(talk) 06:38, 30 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I can't even figure out what it is referring to there. If we remove the adjective 'eponymous' is any meaning lost? (Looked it up, does mean after a person :)) - I think once that is done I will pass this as GA (and post some ideas for onwards to FAC) - good work :) Casliber (talk · contribs) 14:46, 30 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

OK with me. CC usually doesn't care too much about grammatical and style tweaks. Montanabw^(talk) 07:00, 31 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Right, we're done and over the line Done Casliber (talk · contribs) 08:52, 31 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]