Talk:Dana Strum

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Inappropriate tone

The article is stuffed with totally inappropriate prose “Strum proudly stated” “Strum developed a love of rock music” “he would play his old bass guitar along with Black Sabbath and Grand Funk Railroad records in his bedroom despite his parents' disapproval” “future chart-toppers” “From the very beginning, the band was very vocal about the fact that they didn't do drugs.” “Vegas wasn't a welcoming place for hard rockers.” It needs a complete re-write, there are also way too many quotes from Strum, articles should summarise what the sources say NOT what he wants to say about himself. Theroadislong (talk) 22:03, 23 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I think returning to the last clean version (https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Dana_Strum&oldid=1060124065 ) before likely paid editor User:Switch827 messed up the page would be the correct thing to do --FMSky (talk) 22:10, 23 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

That looks like a much better place to start than where we are now! Theroadislong (talk) 22:12, 23 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

OMG this article is a huge mess of promotional language even now. Just starting at the beginning, it says that his (unnamed) father was "a renowned scientist, a pioneer in the field of neurobiology" and "His findings continue to be cited today paving the way for research and advances in the field." This is cited to two references, one an obituary that doesn't support these statements except to confirm that he was a neurobiologist, and the other a newspaper article about the band Slaughter in which the only mention of Strum's father is a quote from Strum that his parents used to yell at him to turn down his record player.

This type of junk seems to be pervasive in this article. The tone is nonencyclopedic throughout, and a very large proportion of the article consists of direct quotes from Strum, other band members and related people. Much of the article is about bands Strum was in rather than about Strum himself. The whole "Slaughter philosophy" section is almost entirely about Slaughter rather than Strum, and is weakly sourced to interviews and statements by band members. The whole article reads more like a press release than an encyclopedia article. I'd almost suggest WP:TNT but maybe there's a good starting point further back in the history. CodeTalker (talk) 22:48, 23 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you @Theroadislong, @FMSky, and @CodeTalker for being so welcoming, friendly, tolerant and helpful to a newcomer who tried as best as I could to expand on and provide enough references to the page of my favorite musician. While you try to blame me of breaking some of the Wikipedia guidelines, I'm afraid you are breaking some too yourself such as WP:NOBITING. So I guess nobody's perfect, right? Switch827 (talk) 05:55, 26 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

COI tag (November 2022)

SPA has added an enormous amount of inappropriate non neutral content. Theroadislong (talk) 22:14, 23 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]