Talk:Cyclone Bonita/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cloudchased (talk · contribs) 03:26, 22 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be reviewing this. Cloudchased (talk) 03:26, 22 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

This is a rather minor concern, but shouldn't the image in the infobox be captioned?

I added one. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Remove the "the" in the Toronto Star reference.

K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"In the aftermath" → "In its aftermath"?

K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The "g" in "Government of Madagascar" should be lowercase.

K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"In a meteorological rarity, Bonita continued inland for several days" just sounds slightly odd. Maybe write something along the lines of "a meteorological oddity..."?

Removed "In". ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

This issue might not be able to be resolved immediately, but the track map does not depict Bonita's passage to the Atlantic – i.e., are any coordinates/wind speeds available?

Sadly, the IBT doesn't track the circulation all the way across, so I don't think it's possible. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Bonita was the first storm confirmed to have tracked across the African continent from the South-West Indian Ocean" – it might be advisable to suffix "to the southern Atlantic" for clarity, or it might as well have tracked north-northwest into the Mediterranean.

Added. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Cyclone Bonita originated in a weak area of disturbed weather" – did Bonita originate within it or from it? I'm slightly confused by this wording.

Changed "in" to "from". ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Please link "Joint Typhoon Warning Center (JTWC)" as a whole per the MoS.

As with Podul, proof? :P ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I don't think the italicization of "tropical disturbance" is necessitated.

K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"first of seven" might imply both the highest and lowest classifications on the scale. Maybe it could be worded as the "lowest of seven"?

Yea, changed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The SWIO scale also has two "tropical storm" classifications, so you might want to note that "tropical storm equivalent" refers to the SSHWS?

But TS isn't technically on the SSHWS, and the term "Tropical storm" as a whole is the same on the lower end between SWIO and SSHWS. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

s/1-minute winds/1-minute maximum sustained winds/?

Huh? I think I got what you mean.... ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

What exactly does "poorly defined" mean? Was its eye obscured? Was its structure becoming misaligned?

Clarified it's the eye. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I can understand the meaning of "poleward progress," but you're saying it's stationary, right? "Poleward" sounds slightly weird.

Clarified it means south. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

s/over the course/in the course/ – of course, I'm opinionated.

I like it how it is :) ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Favorable conditions over water" – Maybe this could be written as "While situated over [body of water], favorable conditions..."

Rejiggered wording. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"the system had succumbed to cold waters and days of land interaction" – the storm succumbed to days?

No, days of land interaction, which makes sense in the context. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"were either killed, or left unaccounted for and presumed dead" – I don't think the "left" is necessary, and nor is the comma.

Agreed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"contributed some of the funding" – weasels.

Merged with previous sentence. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

In "mostly from within Europe," the "within" should probably be removed.

K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Post-storm assessments of disaster response" – were the assessments of disaster response in general, disaster response in 1996, or disaster response to Bonita?

It's to Bonita, as I found that assessment mentioned in a subsequent cyclone article. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"notably the provinces of" – this needs a "in" or "within".

K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"above-normal seasonal rainfall totals in many areas (rainfall remained average or even trended slightly below-average across northern and eastern sections of the nation)" – is it possible to take the information out of the parentheses?

Turned into semicolon. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"At least two observing stations" – where?

Changed to just indicate the peak. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Nice work, JC! I really enjoyed reading the article and look forward to hearing back from you on these issues, after which I'll promote this to GA. Cloudchased (talk) 03:55, 22 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]