Talk:Come Up from the Fields Father/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 18:35, 16 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 18:35, 16 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

No images; Earwig finds no issues; sources are all reliable.

The lead doesn't summarize the "Analysis" section.
"underestimating the state of Cunningham's health": I think this needs rephrasing -- one doesn't think of state as having a quantity, which it would need for "underestimating" to work as the verb.
"Whitman had also been on the receiving end of news that a soldier had been injured, when his brother, George, was injured." Repetitive.
"The poem that come before it in the collection is"
- I rephrased this, which I assume is what you were recommending
Why single out translations into Serbo-Croatian?
- Whitman scholars (Folsom and Allen are at the top of the field) thought it worth mentioning in a book on Whitman's global reception, but I can remove if you'd prefer
"as the family reads of the letter": we don't need "of" unless I misunderstand the intention here.
"Despite ideals with biblical roots that death could ...": I don't know what "ideals with biblical roots" means; do you just mean Christianity's idea of death?
"when Whitman wrote similar letters to families": Whitman had to write to families to let them know of deaths? If so I think that should be clearer.
- Clarified, I think.

Spotchecks:

FN 8 cites "The poet Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote that "I always knew in my heart Walt Whitman's mind to be more like my own than any other man's living," after reading three Whitman poems, one of which was "Come Up From the Fields". The poem's structure has been cited as an influence in the development of Hopkins as a poet." I can't persuade JSTOR to give me access to this; can you quote the supporting text?
FN 5 cites "The poem first appeared in Drum-Taps, Whitman's 1865 volume of Civil War-era poetry." I don't have access to this either; can you quote this too?
FN 6 cites "The poem was generally well received and has been frequently anthologized. Its entry in Walt Whitman: An Encyclopedia described it as "a favorite of editors"." Verified.

-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 20:29, 16 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The first one: A notable exception is the Jesuit priest and poet Gerard Manley Hopkins. “I always knew in my heart Walt Whitman’s mind to be more like my own than any other man’s living,” he wrote to a friend in 1882. “As he is a very great scoundrel this is not a pleasant confession.” Although “Come Up from the Fields Father” was one of only three Whitman poems that Hopkins admitted reading," Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 22:52, 16 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, the rest of that quote (about influencing Hopkin's development is "the alliteration and abrupt stresses in its title and opening line helped inspire him to develop his own distinctive “sprung rhythm,” a prosodic advance as important for poetry in English as Whitman’s free verse." Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 00:00, 17 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The second one: "In the poem “Come Up from the Fields Father,” first published in Drum-Taps in 1865" Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 00:03, 17 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

(page 41) Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 00:03, 17 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks; spotchecks all look good. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 00:04, 17 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, @Mike, I've made changes that I think should address your concerns. Where I didn't respond above, I just went ahead and made changes in response. Let me know if there's anything else. Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 00:22, 17 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Fixes look good -- re the one I made no comment on I just meant that it needed to be "The poem that comes before it" rather than "come before", or a rephrase was needed; what you've done is fine. OK on the Serbo-Croatian; if the scholars think it's worth mentioning that's good enough. No other comments, so passing. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 00:58, 17 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]