Talk:Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Matthew R Dunn (talk · contribs) 23:13, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I shall conduct this review. -- Matthew RD 23:13, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria

Well written: See comments below.
Sources: Reliable, all web sources verify the content, but there are notes below.
Broadness in coverage: General pass, but the plot section seems too long. It would have to be shortened a bit.
Neutral: Again, we'll see after the plot section is taken care of in the comments below.
Stability: No edit conflict problems, ✓ Pass
Images: The non-free image has two of the same licenses and you only need one of those. There is a fair-use rationale, so this criteria is a ✓ Pass

Comments

The plot summary is too long. WP:TVPLOT states "summaries for episode articles should be about 200 to 500 words," the plot section of this article is 688. Isn't there anything that can be cut down?
Also, quite a few of the passages are a bit non-sensical. For instance; "In a store Clyde Bruckman standing in a liquor store reading tabloid headlines about a psychic's predictions. After purchasing the paper and a lottery ticket, he leaves." To make the plot flow better you can just say somewhere along the lines of "Clyde Bruckman purchases a newspaper featuring the headlines of a psychic's predictions and a lottery ticket from a liqour store."
Actually, let's see what you could cut down first, then I'll give it a read and see if there are any more problems there. I'm sure there are some things to shave off.
"Reviewer Zack Handlen of The A.V. Club gave the episode a A..." He actually graded the episode an A.
On the references link TV Guide and Slate.
For the IGN source you need the correct url; the episode entry is on the third page, not the first.

I'll place this on hold for seven days. -- Matthew RD 03:53, 17 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, I cut down the plot summary quite a bit. It's about 500 words now. Hopefully, that solves that problem. I changed the other prose errors. I believe I've fixed everything.--Gen. Quon (talk) 19:13, 18 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Nice one, although having read over the plot there are a few more things to take care of.

Avoid using apostrophes and spell them out (couldn't to could not, he'll to he will, isn't to is not, he's to he is) the "You don't" quote can be left alone as it was said during the episode.
"Scully sits on his bed holding his hand as he dies, deeply moved". This line seems to say that Bruckman was still alive when Scully was holding him, but wasn't he already dead?

Sort thes issues out and I'll pass the article, I promise. -- Matthew RD 19:37, 19 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

OK, now I think everything is cleared up!--Gen. Quon (talk) 00:48, 20 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Yes you have. Well done. I will now pass the article, thanks for your patience. -- Matthew RD 01:08, 20 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]