Talk:Cheers (Drink to That)
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Sources for expansion
[edit]Is Popcrush reliable for a review of the song? It's the only one since it was announced as a single. Added Calvin • 999 18:38, 28 July 2011 (UTC)
- Nice find, im going to say yes after author research. Every other on the website has a degree in music journalism or some sort or extensive background credit, Amy Sciarretto (author of this review) has written for "Kerrang! Spin, Revolver, Alternative Press, Noisecreep, Spinner, ARTISTdirect and Teen People, to name a few." and is an author. So yes, quite reliable in my opinion. - (CK)Lakeshade - talk2me - 21:18, 28 July 2011 (UTC)
- Digital Spy. There is a brief review here. Added Calvin • 999 11:53, 29 July 2011 (UTC)
IdolatorCalvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 12:48, 31 July 2011 (UTC)- They don't actually give a review. Don't Add Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 22:21, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
Music RemedyReliable? Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 22:04, 1 August 2011 (UTC)- They're just saying the song is going to be released. Don't Add Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 22:21, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
US Billboard Pop Songs debut
[edit]"Cheers" has debuted at 35 on US Billboard Pop Songs chart. So this means we can re-add the "Cheers" article, right?
Here's the source:
http://www.billboard.com/column/chartbeat#/column/chartbeat/chart-highlights-rock-country-songs-more-1005300122.story Xavier (talk) 23:34, 1 August 2011 (UTC)MR.Texan281
- I've added it to my sandbox already and will put it in once the re-direct has been removed. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 23:35, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
Addition of my Sandbox
[edit]When the re-direct was removed from the article, everything got erased. So I have added in my sandbox with all info about the completely up to date as August 2, 2011 (or August 1 if you are in America!). Now the song has charted, the article is here to stay and is notable. So if you want to look at the edit history of my sandbox, then click here as I will edit this article from now on. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 23:52, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
V Festival
[edit]Can anyone fins a source that specifically says that Rihanna sang Cheers at V? Because I can't find one, even though it was performed. NME gave a set list but haven't included it. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 14:43, 26 August 2011 (UTC)
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Cheers (Drink to That)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Sauloviegas (talk • contribs • count) 16:53, 4 September 2011 (UTC)
Pre-review comments
[edit]- This article falls under WP:RECENTISM; it is still an ongoing event and new information may become available, thus altering the article significantly. GA nomination should be removed or placed on a significant time length review. - (CK)Lakeshade - talk2me - 23:49, 4 September 2011 (UTC)
- It was released as a Radio single and hasn't been given an official release. All the info about the music video has been released, and there won't be new reviews for the song or video now either. The only thing that is changing is the weekly chart positions. Nothing else in the article is changing. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 01:58, 5 September 2011 (UTC)
- I agree with (CK)Lakeshade. It is definitely too early. I suggest that you wait for at least 8 weeks. Jivesh • Talk2Me 12:55, 6 September 2011 (UTC)
- The article isn't going to get any significantly bigger in the near future. All that is changing now is the weekly chart positions. If it was a really big article, I'd understand, but it's not, it's only small. Beat of My Drum was created on June 3, 2011 and was nominated for GAN by August 11, and it has been reviewed. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 13:35, 6 September 2011 (UTC)
- So do you think that "Cheers (Drink to That)" will also chart in only three countries and that its chart performance section will be equally short? Jivesh • Talk2Me 16:54, 6 September 2011 (UTC)
- It isn't. But that is also that is changing. The past week few weeks, all I have had to change is "In it's third week" to "In it's fourth week" to "In it's fifth week". lol Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 17:31, 6 September 2011 (UTC)
- The rule of thumb has always been to not nominate an article for GA until the artist has released another song. Agreed with lake. — Status {talkcontribs 00:39, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
- Fly has been released. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 01:03, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
- The rule of thumb has always been to not nominate an article for GA until the artist has released another song. Agreed with lake. — Status {talkcontribs 00:39, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
- It isn't. But that is also that is changing. The past week few weeks, all I have had to change is "In it's third week" to "In it's fourth week" to "In it's fifth week". lol Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 17:31, 6 September 2011 (UTC)
- So do you think that "Cheers (Drink to That)" will also chart in only three countries and that its chart performance section will be equally short? Jivesh • Talk2Me 16:54, 6 September 2011 (UTC)
- The article isn't going to get any significantly bigger in the near future. All that is changing now is the weekly chart positions. If it was a really big article, I'd understand, but it's not, it's only small. Beat of My Drum was created on June 3, 2011 and was nominated for GAN by August 11, and it has been reviewed. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 13:35, 6 September 2011 (UTC)
- I agree with (CK)Lakeshade. It is definitely too early. I suggest that you wait for at least 8 weeks. Jivesh • Talk2Me 12:55, 6 September 2011 (UTC)
- I'll be reviewing this as soon as possible. - Sauloviegas (talk) 15:43, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
First look through
[edit]- 1 disambiguation link. Fix it, please. :) - Sauloviegas (talk) 12:38, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- There aren't any suspicious or dead links. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 13:05, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- I'm talking about wikilinks to disambiguation pages. - Sauloviegas (talk) 13:49, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- Which one is it? Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 14:03, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- The disambiguation link is Blogger. - Sauloviegas (talk) 17:42, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- There aren't any suspicious or dead links. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 13:05, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]- "and serves as the seventh overall single to be released from Loud". This songs like it will still be released as a single. Wasn't it released already?
- I don't understand what you are saying? Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "of Avril Lavigne's "I'm With You"," You already mentioned Lavigne before. It would be better like this: "of Lavigne's "I'm With You",".
- Oh, I did that already. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 14:03, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- "of Avril Lavigne's "I'm With You"," You already mentioned Lavigne before. It would be better like this: "of Lavigne's "I'm With You",".
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- I don't understand what you are saying? Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "Thus far, "Cheers (Drink to That)" has so far". Can you re-write this? I think it's a little weird...
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "charting at numbers five and eight, respectively, and has also peaked at number 11". Either "charting at numbers five and eight, respectively, and has also peaked at number eleven" or "charting at numbers 5 and 8, respectively, and has also peaked at number 11".
- Single digit numbers are written as a word, double digits are written numerically. Have spilt into two sentences anyway. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 13:01, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- Ok. :) - Sauloviegas (talk) 13:49, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- Single digit numbers are written as a word, double digits are written numerically. Have spilt into two sentences anyway. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 13:01, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
Background and composition
[edit]- "digital music sheet published at Musicnotes". Either "digital music sheet published at Music Notes" or "digital music sheet published at musicnotes.com"
Critical reception
[edit]- "Upon the songs release, the song received generally positive reviews from music critics." -> "Upon its release as a single, "Cheers (Drink to That)" received generally positive reviews from music critics."
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "stated that as rock-arena song, which contains sample by Avril Lavigne is written for barroom singalongs," -> "stated that, as rock-arena song, which contains sample by Avril Lavigne, is written for barroom singalongs,"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Try to replace "the song" (which is repeated a lot) with "Cheers (Drink to That)" or it when appropriate.
Chart performance
[edit]- "inside the the top 40" -> "inside the top 40"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- ", "California King Bed".," -> ", "California King Bed"."
Music video
[edit]- "which she wears for various difference parts of the each concert" Re-write this.
References
[edit]- Fix references 38 and 39. Add template citeweb.
- Are those two sources reliable? I didn't add those in. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 13:17, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- The second is, because it's the website from the director... Now the first one, I'm not sure. Who added those? - Sauloviegas (talk) 13:48, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- Probably an IP judging by the formatting, or should I say, lack of formatting. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 14:03, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- You're right. Well, what are you going to do? Remove it or keep it? If you remove, you should remove the director info of the music video section, or find another source. - Sauloviegas (talk) 17:42, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- I removed the first, and formatted the second. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 18:12, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- Great! You still need to fix the disambiguation link, which is Blogger. - Sauloviegas (talk) 15:32, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
- Where is it here ? Because I don't see any issues. Dead links are the only ones that are a problem really. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 15:36, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
- lol No, I'm talking about this! :) - Sauloviegas (talk) 23:24, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
- Think I have done what you mean. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 17:25, 12 September 2011 (UTC)
- Great! Passing. - Sauloviegas (talk) 21:22, 12 September 2011 (UTC)
- Think I have done what you mean. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 17:25, 12 September 2011 (UTC)
- Great! You still need to fix the disambiguation link, which is Blogger. - Sauloviegas (talk) 15:32, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
- I removed the first, and formatted the second. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 18:12, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- The second is, because it's the website from the director... Now the first one, I'm not sure. Who added those? - Sauloviegas (talk) 13:48, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
- Are those two sources reliable? I didn't add those in. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 13:17, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
Thanks! I don't know of Jivesh had finished his comments below though :/ Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 02:29, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- Of course not. Jivesh boodhun (talk / Make sure you give 4 a try!!!) 04:17, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- Oh my God, I'm sorry, Jivesh! I thought you have done everything! Really sorry... :( - Sauloviegas (talk) 09:30, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- It does not matter. Well, i am not sure i will continue now considering the amount of issues that have been highlighted by the use below. Jivesh boodhun (talk / Make sure you give 4 a try!!!) 11:13, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- Ooopss they are on the talk-page, not here. Jivesh boodhun (talk / Make sure you give 4 a try!!!) 11:15, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- It does not matter. Well, i am not sure i will continue now considering the amount of issues that have been highlighted by the use below. Jivesh boodhun (talk / Make sure you give 4 a try!!!) 11:13, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- Oh my God, I'm sorry, Jivesh! I thought you have done everything! Really sorry... :( - Sauloviegas (talk) 09:30, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
Comments by Jivesh
[edit]- After 5 hours. Jivesh • Talk2Me 12:52, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
- Infobox
- Where are the recording locations?
- I don't know, i don't have a physical copy of the album booklet. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Which one of these are really the genres: incorporates the musical elements of dancehall[9], dance-pop,[10] pop rock,[11] and R&B? (taken from background and composition)
- I removed the dancehall source and genre, but the Pop-rock one is from a critics review, so that is the genre. People like to add dancehall back in a lot. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
Jivesh • Talk2Me 17:22, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
- Lead
- performed >>> recorded
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- mpacted US Mainstream and Rhythmic radio >>> mpacted US mainstream and rhythmic radios
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- The song impacted US Mainstream and Rhythmic radio on August 2, 2011, and serves as the seventh overall single to be released from Loud. Rewrite. If you want a suggestion, ask me. Feel free.
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "Cheers (Drink to That)" was produced by Harr and Jackson under their stage name The Runners, and contains interpolations of Lavigne's "I'm With You", which is featured on her album Let Go (2002). >>> Break the sentence as it does not make sense in this structure.
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- which is featured on her album >>> which is featured on her debut album,
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- confidence party-drinking >>> is that a quote from somewhere?
- Removed "confidence" Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- By writing The song has received positive reviews from music critics, you are encouraging those who came with the WP:RECENTISM issue. Change to The song garnered positive reviews from music critics,
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- who praised the interpolation of Lavigne's "I'm with You", as well as commenting that it would be a successful club song due to its lyrical content >>> Why the changed from past tense to the usage of -ing endings???
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "Cheers (Drink to That)" has so far managed to peak inside >>> managed??? Come on. Rihanna's songs do not struggle my dear Calvin. You know it much better than me. Lol
- Done, but Man Down, California King Bed, If I Never See your Face Again, Who's That Chick, Rockstar 101, If It's Lovin That You Want, We Ride, Redemption Song and Wait Your Turn struggled. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "Cheers (Drink to That)" has so far managed to peak inside the top ten in New Zealand and Australia, charting at numbers five and eight, respectively. >>> same here. You use past tense then switch to -ing endings.
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Who directed the video? Care to mention in lead. This will be questioned at FAC (if one is intended)
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "Cheers (Drink to That)" is included >>> was
- Done I've never understood how it should be "was" when it is currently happening. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- It is set list. I have told you this so many times now.
- Done Alrighttttttttttttttttttt Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 17:53, 12 September 2011 (UTC)
- General Comment.: Finally you have decided to put the years in brackets!!! Why this change? Just curious. Jivesh • Talk2Me 17:33, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
- What do you mean? I've always proceeded the tour name by the year in brackets. If I remember correctly, you told me last time not to do it if I don't do it for the songs as well. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Corrections done??? Jivesh • Talk2Me 16:54, 12 September 2011 (UTC)
- Now they are... Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 17:53, 12 September 2011 (UTC)
- Corrections done??? Jivesh • Talk2Me 16:54, 12 September 2011 (UTC)
Prose comments
[edit]Hi there. For some reason, I appear to have this article on my watchlist and I noticed that it was recently promoted to GA status. Anyway, I was reading through the article and there were some issues I had with the prose. I thought about making some general copyedits, but I don't edit music-related articles very often, so I thought it would be better if I just listed some of my concerns here. There is, of course, nothing that you must act upon, but hopefully this will result in a better article.
Lead
[edit]- "recorded by Barbadian recording artist Rihanna, taken from her fifth studio album Loud (2010)." – is "taken" really necessary here?
- It's a single, so it's not directly from the album. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 09:12, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- You're probably right, but I'm still confused. How does "taken" imply that it's not direct? Jenks24 (talk) 09:25, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- You're probably right, but I'm still confused. How does "taken" imply that it's not direct? Jenks24 (talk) 09:25, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- It's a single, so it's not directly from the album. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 09:12, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- "The song impacted" – does this mean that's the day the song was released? It's unclear to me
- Sent to radio. All music articles use this. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- I'll take your word for it, but would it not be clearer to say "was sent to radio", "was released to radio", or something similar? Anyway, your call, so whatever you decide is fine. Jenks24 (talk) 20:18, 14 September 2011 (UTC)
- Sent to radio. All music articles use this. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- I would reword the third sentence to "Written by Andrew Harr, Jermaine Jackson, Stacey Barthe, Laura Pergolizzi, Corey Gibson, Chris Ivery, Lauren Christy, Graham Edwards, Avril Lavigne and Scott Spock, production of the song was completed by Harr and Jackson under their stage name, The Runners."
- The way you worded the sentence makes it mean that the production was written by all those people, not the song. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 09:12, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- I disagree, but looking at my proposed wording, it is pretty poor. How about "Produced by Andrew Harr and Jermaine Jackson under their stage name, The Runners, the song was written by Harr, Jackson, Stacey Barthe, Laura Pergolizzi, Corey Gibson, Chris Ivery, Lauren Christy, Graham Edwards, Avril Lavigne and Scott Spock."? Jenks24 (talk) 09:25, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- Not done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Hmmm, fair enough. Not sure what I thought was wrong here, it's just the many writers that make it feel a little clunky, nothing that can be fixed. Jenks24 (talk) 20:18, 14 September 2011 (UTC)
- Not done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- I disagree, but looking at my proposed wording, it is pretty poor. How about "Produced by Andrew Harr and Jermaine Jackson under their stage name, The Runners, the song was written by Harr, Jackson, Stacey Barthe, Laura Pergolizzi, Corey Gibson, Chris Ivery, Lauren Christy, Graham Edwards, Avril Lavigne and Scott Spock."? Jenks24 (talk) 09:25, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- The way you worded the sentence makes it mean that the production was written by all those people, not the song. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 09:12, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- "which is featured on her debut album Let Go (2002)" – change "her" to "Lavigne's", I had to click the wikilink to find out if it meant Lavigne or Rihanna.
- Why?? "Cheers (Drink to That)" contains interpolations of Lavigne's "I'm With You", which is featured on her debut album Let Go (2002)." It makes perfect sense that it is clearly from Lavigne's album. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Fair enough. Jenks24 (talk) 20:18, 14 September 2011 (UTC)
- Why?? "Cheers (Drink to That)" contains interpolations of Lavigne's "I'm With You", which is featured on her debut album Let Go (2002)." It makes perfect sense that it is clearly from Lavigne's album. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "is a confidence party-drinking song" – I get what a party-drinking song is, but what does confidence mean here? Also, the body of the article does not mention confidence, only party-drinking, so it's not sourced either
- Done I swear I removed that, clearly I didn't. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "and also commented that it would be a successful club song due to its lyrical content" –-> "and Amy Sciarretto of PopCrush commented that she believed it would be a successful club song due to its lyrical content"
- Not done The lead isn't mean't to be that detailed, it's just a brief summary about the reception.
- Also fair enough, but as I note below, apparently PopCrush is not RS, so you might want to get a different source for this. Jenks24 (talk) 20:18, 14 September 2011 (UTC)
- Not done The lead isn't mean't to be that detailed, it's just a brief summary about the reception.
- "charted at numbers five and eight, respectively. The song also peaked at number 11" – be consistent with numbers, either use 5, 8, 11 or five, eight, eleven (see WP:ORDINAL about comparable quantities)
- Not done Single digit numbers are written as a word, double digit numbers are written numerically. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Yes, I used to think that, too. But it's not the case – see the second bullet point of WP:ORDINAL: like quantities, which chart positions are, should not change between spelling out and using numerals. Jenks24 (talk) 20:18, 14 September 2011 (UTC)
- Not done Single digit numbers are written as a word, double digit numbers are written numerically. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Why isn't Evan Rogers wikilinked?
- Done I didn't know he had an article.
- "shows footage of Rihanna performing on tour as well as various different activities she did during her homecoming trip to Barbados" – this sounds awkward. Perhaps "shows footage of Rihanna on tour and performing different activities during her homecoming trip to Barbados" – that still doesn't sound great, perhaps you can think of something better?
- Done That is basically the same. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 12:43, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
Background
[edit]- "The song was sent for Mainstream and Rhythmic radio adds" – again, I'm sorry, but I have no idea what this means
- Click on them then, that is why they are wiki linked, so you can easily find out more info. It's basically the types of radio that the song was released to. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "which is featured on her album Let Go (2002)" – again, I think "her" needs to be changed to "Lavigne's" for clarity
- Not done Again, literally words before, it says "Lavigne's", sometimes you need to use a bit of common sense to work things out, it's so obvious that it is about Lavigne still, it's not a new sentence. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "but also incorporates the musical elements of dance-pop and R&B" – "the" seems unnecessary to me
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "Lyrically, "Cheers (Drink to That)" is a party-drinking song that contains the verse ... " – while that's true, I think it would flow better as "Lyrically, "Cheers (Drink to That)" is a party-drinking song, which is exemplified by the verse ... "
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "Don’t" – change the ’ to '
- What?? Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Did it myself. Jenks24 (talk) 20:18, 14 September 2011 (UTC)
- What?? Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "People can't wait for the weekend."." – remove the second full stop
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
Reception
[edit]- Link to BBC Music, instead of just BBC
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "Robert Copsey of Digital Spy praised the use of interpolating Lavigne's song" --> "Robert Copsey of Digital Spy praised the interpolation of Lavigne's song"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "with Bill Lamb of About.com also concurring" – "also" is unnecessary
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- The quote from ref 16 doesn't end, i.e. it has no closing quotation mark
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- ‘Loud’ --> 'Loud'
- I can't see a difference there at all. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Click "edit" on this section. Then you'll see it. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 19:25, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- Did it myself. Jenks24 (talk) 20:18, 14 September 2011 (UTC)
- Click "edit" on this section. Then you'll see it. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 19:25, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- I can't see a difference there at all. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "Thomas Conner of The Chicago Sun-Times" --> "Thomas Conner of the Chicago Sun-Times"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
Chart
[edit]- "In the issue dated August 3, 2011" – why can't that just be "On August 3, 2011"?
- Not done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Well, I'm not a fan of it, but I agree it is used in many music articles. My personal opinion is that it's overly wordy, but it's a judgement call I'll leave up to you. Jenks24 (talk) 20:18, 14 September 2011 (UTC)
- Not done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "the following week. The following week" – very repetitive
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Again "in the issue dated"
- Not done That is what s used. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "that weeks" – should have a possessive apostrophe, no?
- """I don't know Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Did it myself. Jenks24 (talk) 20:18, 14 September 2011 (UTC)
- """I don't know Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- You use "became" and "becoming" in the same sentence – don't change up the tense like that
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "In Canada, the song debuted at number 89 on August 17, 2011, and leaped to a new peak of 37 the following week." – could you use a synonym for "leaped"?
The first para starts exactly the same way
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Again, you shouldn't change between 18 and seven, when they are representing the same quantity
- Not done Have said this before. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "for the week ending" – is that necessary?
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
Video
[edit]- "she replied to a fan's tweet announcing that" – comma needed between "tweet" and "announcing"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "whilst" --> "while"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "The video was directed and edited by New York based director Evan Rogers" – there needs to be a full stop at the end of the sentence, it should be "New York-based" and wikilink Evan Rogers
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "before the concert" --> "before a concert"?
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "whilst Rihanna is shown walking to her dressing room in preparation to perform, by doing her make-up and changing outfits." --> "while Rihanna is shown walking to her dressing room, preparing to perform by doing her make-up and changing outfits."
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "before being pushed into a swimming pool on a skateboard fully clothed" --> "before being pushed fully clothed into a swimming pool while on a skateboard"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Would be great if there was an article on Kadooment Day – possibly worth a redlink as it should be created one day
- No one is going to create an entire article because they by chance see that there is a dead link on this article. lol. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "The video ends with Rihanna on a boat shouting "Rihanna Navy!", referring to her fan group." – the last part should be sourced
- "Iona Kirby of The Daily Mail" --> "Iona Kirby of the Daily Mail"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "and insight as to what she likes to do" --> "and insight into what she likes to do"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "commenting that is" --> "commenting that it is"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "According to PopDash's Giovanna Falcone ... " --> "According to PopDash's Giovanna Falcone, the video ... " – then "showing" would need to change to "show[s]"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "can’t" --> "can't"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "we’ve" --> "we've"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- it's not clear to non-fans what "RiRi" means – I'd change it to "[Rihanna]"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "Idolator" should link to Idolator (website), not Idolator
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "regarding one of Rihanna's previous music videos" --> "referring to one of Rihanna's previous music videos"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "OK! Magazine" should be in italics
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- You shouldn't reflect the poor punctuation of ref 46 – remove the odd space in " ' which"
- Where?? Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "It’s" --> "It's"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- No need for ellipses at the start of a quote
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- Why do you use square brackets around the ellipses in the quote from ref 49 when you haven't for the rest of the article?
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
- "About raising glasses in the video" --> "In reference to raising glasses in the video"
- Done Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
All the best, Jenks24 (talk) 07:52, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks :) Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 15:27, 14 September 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks for the quick responses. I agree with, or at least understand, most of those you didn't do, but I've replied to a few. One more thing is that, according to this GAN, PopCrush is not a reliable source. No idea of that's correct or not, but if it is, it would be best to remove/replace the PopCrush refs. Also, I'd meant to say it originally, but this is a very nice article. Cheers, Jenks24 (talk) 20:18, 14 September 2011 (UTC)
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- Wikipedia good articles
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