Talk:Charles the Bold/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Amir Ghandi (talk · contribs) 07:00, 24 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Borsoka (talk · contribs) 09:25, 3 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it well written?
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:

B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
Is it verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check?
A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):

C. It contains no original research:

D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
Is it neutral?
It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
Is it stable?
It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Comments

...in the city of Dijon Specify that it was the capital of the Duchy.
Link Philipp the Bold and Isabella of Portugal when they are first mentioned. Perhaps you can also mention that she was his third wife.
Perhaps you could introduce his father as the ruler of several duchies and counties, mentioning that some of them were located in France, others in the Holy Roman Empire.
...within days from his birth Delete (no actual information).
...and made his son a knight of the Golden Fleece, a knightly order created by him in 1430. The infant also became the count of Charolais, a title given to the heirs of the dukes of Burgundy. 1. I think the last part of the first sentence and the first part of the second sentence could be consolidated, and info about the Order of the Golden Fleece and the county could presented in a separate sentence. Please also clarify that Charolais was located in France.
Introduce Count Charles I of Nevers and Antoine I de Croÿ (perhaps as two aristocrats/noblemen..).
...who was Philip the Good's stepson from his second wife, Bonne of Artois Why not past perfect? From? Link Bonne.
...the young Charles... Young? He was about one year old.
The Duchess and her son descended the mountains in April 1435, after the plague had receded. Afterwards, they travelled to Paris to join Philip the Good. Consolidate the two sentences only leaving the most relevant pieces information (She brought him to Paris after the plague).
En route, they passed through Bruges.... In 1436, when Isabella and her entourage were to leave the city... The second sentence suggests me that they stayed in Bruges for several days/weeks/months.
...forcefully stopped and arrested... One verb is enough.

Now, I stop the review and suggest you to seek a thorough and comprehensive copyedit at the guild of copy editors because the prose could be improved. Please ping me when the copyedit was completed. Borsoka (talk) 09:55, 3 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Borsoka But the article has already been through copyeditting by someone from the guild. Amir Ghandi (talk) Amir Ghandi (talk) 10:01, 3 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, but I think a new copyedit is needed because it is hard to understand. I guess that some prose could be deleted and some sentences could be consolidated. Borsoka (talk) 10:02, 4 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Okay then. I'll enlist this in GOCE Amir Ghandi (talk) 10:51, 4 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]